How to deal with this?

kma · Feb 19, 2010

Hi

I have a playgroup friend here whose daughter is 2 years older than my nearly 2 year old daughter. She keeps bullying my dd and initially her mother used to scold and beat her. I told her not to beat her . Now a days she simply turns a blind eye to this so as not to make her daughter cheap in front of others. She takes immd. offence even if I tell her daughter not to beat my dd.
Her daughter is young I understand that, when she likes she plays and kisses my dd but when she bullies she pushes, beats, pulls her hair etc etc while my dd stands with a blank expression.

I dont know how to deal with this without hurting them though I am hurting because I feel I am failing my dd.|Pls give me some suggestions..

kma · Feb 19, 2010

17 views and no replies:hiya

Some more details

Recently her grandmom was here and my friend's daughter was pushing a cycle into my dd and she simply kept quiet. I didnt say anything because they do not like if I tell anything to her and expected her to correct her. She simply ignored it. Earlier when she almost pushed my daughter into a metal rod, I got worried and told her not to push as she may fall down. Her mother's face became red because I tried to correct her dd.Since then I stopped telling anything.

But after the cycle incident, I thought that may be I should try to be more assertive. I just wanted to know whether I am overreacting or is it better to be more assertive?

Aadhusmom · Feb 20, 2010

kma - If my child is at risk of injury from another child I would definitely ask her mother to discipline (NOT beat/shout) her child. If that mom isnt willing to do that then I really wouldnt let my child play with that child anymore. I would excuse some of this pushing and shoving if they were the same age but in your case I wouldnt because while her peers could handle it your 2 yr old obviously cant.

Vanathi.

kma · Feb 20, 2010

Thank you so much Vanathi. I am feeling much better after reading your reply. Yes I think that would be the best thing to do. :thumbsup

Mahajanpragati · Feb 21, 2010

hi,
i second vanathi.
u need to be more assertive.stop dd playing with the other child.if her mother ask u why then u can clearly say that u can't tolerate ur child being pushed or beaten.
instead u can play with ur dd.trust me she will love it & so would u.
pragati

kma · Feb 21, 2010

Hi pragati,

Thank you very much. Even I have noticed that she enjoys playing with me. But I feel that she likes to go out and play with other kids also. Maybe she is better off playing with kids her age because at this stage, I believe , their development is very rapid and there is a gap in the activities of a 2 year old and a 4 year old.
Though there are some more kids who are older than her, they may not be interested in playing with her as she is obviously a baby from their heightened age :mrgreen: , they also treat her very gently. The problem seems to come only from this friend's dd. I tried to be diplomatic to avoid embarassing her but that does not seem to work. Thanks once again:2thumbsup: