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How to deal with this

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Sujimallige, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello friends,
    I am a light person.Even when I got married I was slim.
    My problem is how to deal with people especially the in laws who keep taunting u that u r thin in front of everybody and who tell "with this weight I dont think u will have a baby".:mad:
    My husband is v supportive of me and they know this.So they talk only when my husband is not around.I am a v sensitive person and this taunting troubles me a lot.I am really scared if anything becomes true.(God forbid)
     
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  2. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Suji,
    Slimness has nothing to do with having a baby. Some people's body is type is such that they will be slim. Even, my relative is very slim and she is having a baby. So don't worry too much on this issue.
    It is very good that your husband is very supportive. this is enough for you to be happy and concentrate on being healthy and prove to your in-laws that they are wrong!
    You will soon be blessed with a baby!
    come on, cheer up!

    with best wishes
    Sriniketan
     
  3. Tulasi

    Tulasi Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Sujimallige,
    I think you should turn a deaf ear for such comments.nothing will become true just because somebody tells you...as long as you are healthy ..you should not worry.. only people have to worry when they are over weight. do eat well.be positive.

    ps: I was very slim before marriage now I am doubled where i was but people have commented then and also now..so think they have nothing better to do...
    Tulasi
     
  4. Meeta

    Meeta Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Suji...........
    I support what Sri has written..........baby and slimness are not at all related.....if you are healthy and ur body weight is in propertion with ur height, then never mind what others are saying.........
    And one more thing, parent alwyas feel that their kids are slim.......not eating etc.....and if you take ur In laws as parents.......u will not feel bad rather feel the love that they want you to eat good.......make ur health...........
    If u plan for a baby, better talk to ur family Doctor before proceeding and the Doc. can only tell u about ur situation........
    Regards.
     
  5. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    dear suji,
    people have power to hurt u only if u let them.either ignore them or give tit for tat.
    regards
    pragati
     
  6. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks sri,tulasi and meeta for ur response.
    No meeta,I can never compare my in laws to my parents.
    Pls dont think that i have the typical dil mentality of treating in laws as outsiders.U dont know what all they have done to me & what all I have had to face in just 2 yrs of marriage.
    My mil cannot stand the fact that my husband loves me and she always wants to hurt me.She knows my weak point v well.So when she sees that I am happy or something just to spoil my mood and happiness she brings the topic of my thinness,which is v annoying.My inlaws have joint family,mil,bil,DH's uncle aunt everybody stay together.I even have a sil who is married.When everybody is home if just my husband goes to bathroom or something of 2 minutes they say nasty things to me and they have a hearty laugh.This hurts me a lot and ask my husband y they accepted me coz even at marriage time I was slim and everybody knew that.
     
  7. Mythraeyi

    Mythraeyi Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    you are lucky to be thin. As long as you are healthy, you should not have any problems. maybe your m-i-l is just jealous...!!
     
  8. Meeta

    Meeta Bronze IL'ite

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    Oh Dear............
    Anyways.......even if they are bad and JJJJJJJJ, u have nothing to do with that.
    I used to be very thin and whenever somebody says that I am thin.......I used to say that........it's in vogue and people do what nots to get slim and I am god gifted to born as thin.............
    So, never ever give others a chance to laugh at you........whenever somebody points at ur slimness, just ask casually that........kindly tell me what and how much should I eat to become like you......
    keep us informed what u saw in their face.............
    Bye.......
     
  9. gisjul

    gisjul Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Suji,,
    Just ignore the most important thing is to ignore these things and dont carry in your head thinking alot negative things.
    i know inlaws and parents are different.
    even my inlaws and parents are not on talking terms. but my mom wants to talk to her she even called her up once but she didnt speak well or open up..
    my husband even told me not to ask my mom to call her up.
    MIL is short tempered and thats y even i dont want to create more problms in life that i have already.if you keep thinking about it constantly it will affect you mentally and you will become very selfconsious.
    so face it people always talk but just think about how good u r to be thin. maybe she is jealous of u!!!!!:idea:
    gis-L :hiya
     
  10. Lena

    Lena New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I have been very thin most of the time, 95-100 pound range.

    Like in your case my husband had no issues with this, but in-laws used to comment on it.

    I have a very healthy baby and i have been breast feeding him with God's grace. I had no issues with lactating my baby for a year+.

    My MIL commented last time when i visited them that I look like a monkey and wearing clothes like 'she mentioned some animal'. I did not care. I knew very well that she is not educated and illiterate woman.All she can do is saying such things.Some people are naturally nice to all. My mil is not like that. I respect warm and affectionate mothers. I feel sorry for such people who are ill -natured moms like my MIL.She behaves the same way to all, including my hubby.

    They also commented really badly that my baby is dark because I did not take care. Who cares as long as our baby is healthy,happy and cheerful.

    These people basically does not know the meaning of living happily. They are spoiling their life just by saying such things and sometimes we spoil our just by taking their words to our heard as well. I have been like that for a short time. I stopped calling them because they always say such things it affects me and I have told my husband as well that i do not like hearing such things. He is okay with that , but not very happy. But I don't care. I need to take care of my feelings. I am taking good care of my husband and my baby. I wish to goo take care of my mil as well. She just don't understand it.

    So you don't worry. Eat well, take some supplements like ensure if you like to gain weight(only if you want to gain, not for anyone else).Forget about MIL and all negative things.

    I have told people(at work) who have commented and discussed about my weight that 'I like it like this and my husband as well, and I am a very healthy person, every person is unique and I am really happy about what God has given". You can't say this to MIL, infact you don't have to. they just don't get it .
    To your mil, Just smile nicely as if you are not affected....like a monalisa smile...that they should not understand why you are smiling....and with smile on your face..when your husband come back, tell your hasband infront of everyone (keep smiling..) that they told like this(say louder.....jokingly).as if not compalining. remember to leave the room shorty after this (but natuarally as if you are doing your other chores), because I don't know how you mil going to behave. Do not talk anything about this later.Always say you did not take it seriously.Slowly they will stop.

    Take care,
    Lena

     

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