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How To Deal With This Situation ?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mangaii, Apr 7, 2021.

  1. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    I had a joint bank account with my husband in India. I usually fund the account for travel expense. Last time I went to India I converted the money to FD. Since I didn't go to India for past few years, I never checked this account. My husband traveled once without me. That time when he got the new card ,he reset the atm pin and left the card in India. I wasn't aware of this. Now during covid lockdown ,since I had lot of time I decided to check my account and it has no balance. On further inquiry with bank and atm with drawls, I came to know SIL's son who is very close to my husband has taken the money. The amount is close to 3L. My husband feels we should let it go since my SIL has all my jewels in her name. I feel angry at this situation . I don't know how to control my anger and I'm diverting this towards my husband. The said son is single and close to 28 . When I tried to ask him he blocked me in whatsapp. After this my SIL stopped picking up my calls. I don't know how to let go since this is my money. Any tips ?
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    The bigger issue is your SIL keeping your jewels. I have to say the blame here rests in your husband. He should not have left them with access to the account knowing their nature. That’s why he’s asking you to let it go. I don’t know what you can really do since they took the money knowing it’s wrong and probably never had any intent of returning it.
     
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  3. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    @MalStrom thanks you for your response . It is 100% my husband’s fault but even I didn’t expect this kind of behavior. Actually last time when I went to India we couldn’t get back the jewels due to logistics of transporting from one location to another location . I’m worried about getting my jewels since she has stopped responding to my calls . Till I asked about this money we had a very good relationship . She is kind of person who doesn’t interact with anyone . On top of this she moved places too and no one knows where she moved . I actually feel so stupid thinking that I handed over my jewels just like that . But I never thought I will have this much gap after my last trip .
     
  4. Flyhigher

    Flyhigher Silver IL'ite

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    Try few more times to talk or message to them, try to create sympathetic situation like you need urgent money to give it to someone or tell like I have borrowed money from so and so person and told that person to collect from you anyways you guys were supposed to give me money or make them to order and pay every items you might plan to bring back to USA or tell them to book you tickets within India travel since you don’t have card and money. Keep reminding them few more months regularly. If nothing works and they are not ready for anything think this as lesson.
     
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  5. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    That is how I started the whole thing once I realized money is gone . I told him indirectly I need money . Now she has cut me off completely I really don’t know what to do . She has good source of income and is financially well off
     
  6. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    Your money is lost; it was indeed taken with the acquiescence of your husband. There is no point in revisiting this issue with relations, who may not return your jewels. If you have receipts for the purchase of such jewels, there could be a possible avenue for a loss write-off in taxes. Google for that.

    When money is gifted from not-so-close a relative, Rs. 50000 per annum is the gift-tax free limit. If the amount is 3L and if all of it was taken in a single tax year, that would be taxable (above the tax exempt limit). How are Gifts taxed in India? Gifts & Clubbing of Income
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2021
  7. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Do you know what your husband told them about the account? He might have asked nephew to help himself if he needed a bit of cash every now and then, and they took it literally.
     
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  8. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    we both help our families on our own with certain amount from our income . My husband sends monthly expense to his sister even though she doesn’t need it . In case of family functions he sends a bigger amount . I never interfere in these things since I feel it is his right to help however way he wants . He never uses our money to help his family . When he was laid off he informed them the same and never sent money . Same with me . I only use my money for my mom . I don’t think he will do such a thing when it comes to our joint account .
     
  9. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Right now I would focus on getting your jewels back and consider this an expensive lesson learned. It really sucks when you can’t even trust your close family members.
     
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  10. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    Honestly I enjoyed my time with my sil . I really wish all this wasn’t true . If he would have said he needed money my husband would have given him . I was really close to her and I felt I really got lucky when it came to my husband side relationships. I spent more time with them . I really have lost faith in relationships after this behavior of hers . I sometimes feel I never saw the true person behind her . I cannot come up with any plausible explanation why would they do this to me . It still puzzles me . I would be shattered if she doesn’t return my jewels since those are more sentimental to me than the actual value .
     

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