How to deal with irritating MIL during preganancy

Congratulations on your pregnancy, dear.

You are doing a clever thing by ignoring / being smarter! Well done
You are correct that during your pregnancy, you don't want the additional stress of what seems to be MIL's attention seeking behaviour. Really focus on doing things which make you happy - I highly recommend music on earphones since you block any unnecessary persons in the room.

Your personal time with your DH is extremely important, I suggest that every month you and your DH book time away over the weekend at a local resort if funds permit. Otherwise, sweetly talk to him about doing something special one day every weekend - Saturdays for you, Sundays for his folks - some such arrangement.

Do not compromise on your food. During pregnancy and lactation, I suggest you demand (politely though) exactly what you want. If your MIL says she will handle the food, hold her accountable. When she exits the kitchen, kindly enquire if she has finished cooking, what she has cooked, and mention you can't wait to eat it. Also, do not go into the kitchen to finish off cooking or start cooking. Just don't do it. It is her job as she has offered to do it, and hence she has to get it done. If she doesn't, exclaim loudly "Oh! mum! Haven't you made food? Are you well? It is too late for me to make anything. I guess I'll have to eat outside", then leave without food (as long as you can buy something outside) In the evening, sweetly say you are looking for a reliable cook so that you can get nutritious food and MIL can also relax. Follow through and find a cook if she repeats such passive aggression one more time. Keep saying you don't want to bother MIL but you really need proper food.

Be cordial. You don't have to have an ugly confrontation. You can put your point across politely. Do stand up for yourself. All the best dear.

 

hi mcutiepie,
Me too in same siuation.Now I am in my 6th month.
And MIL cant wait to create problems.
As guesshoo has written,
its exactly the situation happening at my place.
MIL offered to help and do cooking but was too spicy for me to eat.
Upon requesting to make less masala food as I am carrying.
She cooked according to her taste and after every meal.
She says Oh! I forgot.
After few such instances I started to cook on my own.For which a drama was created that I should only tell what I like and she would cook.I was going bonkers as to whether to take it as she is sweet or being passive aggressive.
So I started to adjust and ignore when she saw I was ready to adjust she declared its tough for her to cook 2 varieties of food.One as per her choice and 2nd as per mine.Finally I appointed a cook.Now cook has to cook for them too.
So burning a big hole in my pocket.They have moved in with us recently and don't pay a single penny for their expenses.With my current condition and baby to arrive my finances are in trouble.

Sorry for venting dear.Do let me know how your Ideas work?
Desperately waitign for some solution from my end too.

 

Try to spent alternate month in your parent home if ur DH is Ok. At his stage, any mother inlaw will accept as they will be free from additional cooking responsiblities.

Same things happened when I was pregnant, my dh accepted this instead of staying all months in my parents home.

 

that's a good idea.
I hope mcutie pie can try or may be she is working?
Hence she cannot opt for this option.
In my case my mom is no more.If i go to my moms place my dad is at stress.
As he pushed himself to cook for me and never allows me in kitchen.So I dont want to go there.The current place I am in my apartment built from mine and DH salary.
Not single penny from in laws side.So technically I am in my home not even in laws house per se.

 

hi dear,

Only who have experienced the situation can understand.
Otherwise people say your mil is cooking for you and now that is also a problem?
Well I went ahead and did that dear.I cooked less spicy BF and cooked 2 veggies stir fry as I was deprived of good food for more than a week and dint want my baby to suffer.on the same day a big fight was created as to why I cooked in my home.
MIL says to DH she can ask and let me know how to cook.I will do for her.
People who are outside family might think how sweet of my MIL.
But fact is when you ask her to do she wont.or worse she will take onion, how to cut it? she will ask .then tomatoes and same Q.By the end of chopping you will run away or want to bang your head to walls.And again feel like saying to her please leave me alone I will cook for myself.Finally I used to wait in my own house for her walking time or when she goes out to cook for myself.
again for the same big fight was created and they said that we are living in hotel where DIL will cook for herself and be in room whole day.
And we will cook for us and we will be in hall/our bedroom.
Since my DH said she is in a stage where we should allow her to be happy and do what she likes.Now my MIL has stopped cooking and I cook for them and myself.

Now I have no other option but doing it thinking that at least my baby is getting the required food.Also they eat all the food first and then I get to it. Bcoz they are diabetic you see.
I wouldn't wish anyone in pregnancy to be with in laws...really wish they spend time with their loving moms.

 

by the way mcutiepie...

Any solution you got?