How to deal with inlaws after a decade?

abc00 · Feb 19, 2010

I want to know is it not difficult to be a saint to people who are devils. I mean, in the initial years of marriage, when we are innocent, inlaws subject us to so much humiliation and pain. Some of us even end up changing our basic nature. In later stages, when inlaws become old, we should also become saints and forgive them:bonk.If we dont, then our relationship with hubby will deteriorate.

Truly speaking, husbands are to be blamed. They cannot stand up for their wife in the initial years when MIL/FIL subjects them to pain and in later life, they expect wifey to be good .

Mihisha · Feb 19, 2010

abc

If they show remorse/gratitude to you, or maybe behave nice now, then it is possible for you to forgive them.. but this wud take loads of patience and spiritual thinking.. If they still show the same bad attitude.. then I guess you shud just avoid them as much as you can and remain aloof..you can talk this out with DH beforehand, I can understand your pain as I am in the same shoes as you are.. the only difference is they have not yet become very old to come and meet us or extend us the warmth of relation. They are still in their high attitude/arrogance days and I am sure things would turn around soon and they wud be old and worn out and then they wud remember us.... maybe ..

Bts · Feb 19, 2010

.. your reply is really very useful...esp turning to god than worry abt these mortals....

Foundlove · Feb 20, 2010

Dear abc

Don't worry you will be fine. Try to plan trips in advance with hubby so you will not feel like they planned your life.

Every month have a short outing planned. You also need to get out as much as possible so put your kids in all kinds of activities.

You can take them along too ..Out of house usually they behave well.

Organize your life so no chance of them catching you off guard.

Other thing is ;this MIL syndrome is all over..just not desi men.Watch Everybody loves raymond...

relax they are old people. If you are good to them they will feel bad that they mistreated you ( maybe)..

Good Luck

eandian · Feb 21, 2010

abc00 said: ↑

I want to know is it not difficult to be a saint to people who are devils
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Agreed 100%.

ananthy · Feb 21, 2010

...100% i agree with what you have written. as this has been my personal experience too. as you sow so shall you reap. very true.

your posts are very nice dear. clear, precise and to the point. i like it a lot. keep posting.

cheers.

eandian · Feb 21, 2010

Thanks for your appreciation.

Good night.

eandian · Feb 21, 2010

akruti9 said: ↑

Just if I could have shut my mouth last those 2 hrs now my life would have been different. I don't know why I messed up:bonk.
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Been there done that. :bang

Rihana · Feb 21, 2010

Foundlove said: ↑

Every month have a short outing planned. You also need to get out as much as possible so put your kids in all kinds of activities.

You can take them along too ..Out of house usually they behave well.
Click to expand...

:biglaugh"Out of the house they behave well". Sounds like they are pets or little children. It is true though, out of the house, they have other things to crib about and there are other people around to receive their cribbings.
It does come with its own set of drawbacks - they will not like the food outside, don't or can't walk too much, as soon as all come back home run around making coffee for all. But, overall going outside is a good break for all when in-laws are visiting.

-Rihana