How To Deal This?

Hello,

I am married for 6yrs, having a 5yr old kid,living in India
I am 32yrs and my DH is 34yrs,we both work in IT .
I have more experience than my DH because of my on track academics,So I earn more tham him even before marriage itself

Positives about my DH:
Loves my kid and me
Equal importance in financial decisions
Equal importance to my parents same as his parents
Helps needy

Challenges with DH

DH doesn't know how to speak softly no matter who is the other person

I dont like to travel with him in car when he drives. He drives rash and return fights with other people on the road.
We have been to police station once as he had punched another car driver on road during fight

DH has a mindset that women are responsible for complete household duties,working /non- working doesnt matter
Even during pregnancy I used cook,shop groceries and go to work.0% help from DH.
If I ask for help,it would not be done on time,if it has to be done then I should argue/quarrel with him to get the tasks

done on time.So I stopped asking for help

Complete responsibility of Kid is mine, daily dropping to school and picking up from daycare
Paying fees ,buying books and all other stuff

Never bothered to buy groceries
Only when kid is sick,then he would act more than me

When there is an office party for him,he can come home anytime I should not even question him.
If it is my team dinner,then I should reach home before 9PM,my phone would start buzzing from 8PM onwards
Initial days I used to avoid team dinner because of my kid.

Very lazy person,doesnt even put used inners in laundry basket,throw them in bedroom floor
If help given he would be happy to get his teeth brushed by another person
Most of the time reaches home after 10PM,leaves around 9:30AM

Main issue:
After marriage DH gained weight from 75 kgs to 103 kgs ( 5 ft 6 inch height)
DH family - big foodies,No control on what they eat.The way they eat rice as if they are on fast for complete day
I kept a big check on DH food intake when I saw his weight gain for the first time at 90kgs

The only BIG thing which taking a toll on my peace of mind is his weight
People stared saving his name as teddybear in their phones and taking his name as an example for obese people
Sales people giggle saying these designs wont be available for ur size,u should select some other designs.

Though there are challenges with DH,the only wish I am begging him is workout and weight reduction.

I never had any demands from him,never expected anything from him like clothes, jewellery
Even I dont buy anything for myself as settling in life financially is always my first priority

As I take of complete house and kid responsibility
I clearly told him 2 years ago,I am no longer looking for any help so he can concentrate morning time only on workout

List of activities I got him enrolled for last 4 years
Gym,Swimming,VLcc,and daily walking
99% home cooked healthy food in his lunch box,having good amount of time for his personal space.
I motivated him to my maximum so that determination would be triggered within himself.
Almost daily I have to push him for workout
Now I reached a threshold.I lost hope that he would look fit
Am I going wrong,I am seeing myself as a big failure that I cannot make him look fit just to bring him to 85Kgs

I started hating him as he is enjoying all free time but not bothered to fulfill my only wish to workout
I dont like to look at him also
I lost peace of mind,making his life also miserable almost daily quarelling as he is not doing proper workout

Please suggest how to overcome this situation.Am I thinking too much

Thanking for your time