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how to convince dh?????

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by tanu khurana, May 19, 2010.

  1. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5Cwindows%5Ctemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]-->[FONT=&quot]Thanks for your suggestion which you pour time to time to help me out.first thanks for all that.....this makes me feel iam with my friends where i can share and surely get solution..........
    all of you knw my prob with my mil.put knw i started remaining calm... and that makes me feel all is well -but it is not..........i knw deep within my heart....
    i really want to hav sol. of my problem its not big but serious......iam unable to make my dh convince on anything????...anything i say he say big no..whatever it is? like v are at my parents place for 15 days and he is all day at home ....sitiing on internet whole day. 1. i ask him to keep my ds fr 15 mins he said ........no... .2.to help me in feeding him.he said...no 3. to go ou anywhere..its no 4..to purchase anything its my bro engagement......but its......no 5. can i use internet........no 6. anything i ask him answer i always a big no 7. doesn't want to save for me or ds and ready to donate to mil, fil and sil whenever they ask for?????????
    either its any place my in laws or my parents, he doesnt want me to help me in any way out.just want to sit on the internet..........please advice me how to convince him????????????i think i lack the ability to convince or he is rude? sometime i get so frustated.........[/FONT]
     
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  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Since you mentioned you are at your moms place.
    How was he when you are at your house?Is he abnormal only at your mothers place or he behaves same way at your home too?

    My husband also wanted to act weird when in-laws around and wanted to show off.In that case just ignore.If he is same way even when you are at place then don't ask CAN I.Just ask him to do it.No requests only demands.
     
  3. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    Get the internet disconnected or :bangcomp:

    Is this a sudden change in him that he says 'NO' to everything? Is so might there be a reason for him to behave like this?
    If this is a sudden change in his behavior, then there must be a reason for his sulkiness towards you.
     
  4. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with Priya.

    Here are a few things to be done.
    • Previous night tell him" tomorrow I need your help with DS. At so and so time I need help feeding him"
    • Or tell him in the morning for something to be done in the afternoon.
    If he is sitting on internet and ignoring you ask him in private 1 question " do U want to spend any time with me?" Listen calmly to whatever he has to say. If he says " what do you mean?" have a timeline like you were on the internet for 10 hrs, etc.

    Making empty accusations never help. Follow it by facts.

    Men sometimes don't know how to behave with women. Try to find out if he is willing to change a little.

    FL
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2010
  5. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    he is like this after marriage.mine is lov marriage.......:drowning he is like this at in laws place too..often rude sometimes............ and if i want to discuss this topic to him it will lead to another fight among us.........:rotfl he doesn't ready to change anything in his routine,i already discuss but its in vain.....my life has become a roller coaster ride DH kicks on one side and in-laws others.........when my MIL ever listen him saying no to me ,she is soooooo happy...
     
  6. raha256

    raha256 Bronze IL'ite

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    saying NO for everything? :crazy. what is he doing infront of net the whole day?. i dont understand this.
    anyway here are my suggestions.
    1. assign some job for him. tell him to give DS breakfast,take him for a walk etc. if he tells he cant, explain that u cant do becoz u are tired, headache (find some reason to manage). once he starts doing something for DS he will like it. anybody likes to take care of their kid. isn't it. let him do something for DS. lets wait and see what happens.
    2. why are you asking him for everything?. stop asking and start buying whatever u want. need not take permission if u want to buy for ur brothers engagement. buy it for urself.
    3. MIL is soooo happy when DH says no. forget it.my MIL is a copy of your MIL in this regard. she will also be Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy when DH says no. you know what i did. i stopped asking my DH if i want something. i started buying for myself and DD. i buy, and then i'll show it to all. (everyone should know that i have purchased na). this was shock to all. now MIL's face was:hide:.

    now my DH everyday asks me "should i buy something for u"? "if u are going for shopping i'll join you":rotfl.

    if i go without telling him is words will be "if u have said, i would have come with you. i'll choose the best denim, top for u". :yes::clap



    take care
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
  7. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    hello raga,
    i already tried all this....... i do all family shopping...........alone or smetim with friends or DS........but either he mocks at the things i brought for me or ds........or if its for him he just say i dnt lik dis why u brought???blah!blah! !!!! ek to lao phir sunooo....he doesnt mind iam going with anyone but doesnt want to go along with me..........STRANGE NA..I WONDER WHAT HE DO WHOLE DAY ON INTERNET...........I ALWAYS FIND HIM ON TEAM BHP....are men like this?????...:spin
     
  8. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    if anyone ever face a men like this please reply.............i got tired of him and his no.......
     
  9. shrukri

    shrukri New IL'ite

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    Hi Tanu

    Men are addicted to internet. But yours seem peculiar, he's seems to escape from all his primary duties. Tell him politely, have a chat with him and discuss. Let him understand the roles and resp of a dad, both shld share the role and not only you dragging everything. Talk talk and talk...he have to change....
    Good luck!!!

    Uma
     
  10. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    That has become adiction these days.My husband also so much addicted for his sending emails to company people.He doens't come out of the computer for 30min as long as he is in the house.He may not doing other stuff,just working and working,sending and sending emails.
    I feel it's just adction.They should relaise themself what they are missing.They are not spending anytime with family nor the kid.
    Not sure what they are going to achieve.Just spoil here health,other than that I don't see any reason.
    You no way can change unless they realsise themself.See alternate ways how you can keep happy yourself.
    Just avoid asking anything for couple of days and see how he bahaves.Does he miss you or not.Just don't ask him anything for some days and see his reaction.
     

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