1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

How to become Mother-in -law's pet

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Resmi0501, Feb 24, 2015.

  1. Resmi0501

    Resmi0501 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    HOW TO BECOME MOTHER –IN –LAW’s PET ?

    With great expectations that the parents of a girl, bid farewell to her new house after marriage. They have to fight with the emptiness of a member of the house. The bless her daughter with all their capabilities and give her all the short cuts and tips to win the hearts of the new world. After that they keep fingers crossed till they get happy news so hat a baby can fill the gap of daughter.

    A similar emptiness is found in boys place also Emptiness among all happenings seems to be a paradox no? But it’s a fact. Have we ever noticed the boy’s mother? Have you ever tried to understand why she doesn’t mingle with the new member? But the fact is that she herself must be wondering what happened to her. Because till the previous day she was totally busy to make the wedding a big success. The very next morning things changes. No more she feels comfortable but uneasiness takes over the command. Some sort of worry without reason is being shadowed in mind.

    She was living mainly for her child. Her aim of life was to see him settled decently. All her endeavor, all her efforts, prayers were for him. Suddenly she might feel that she had been struggling for the benefits of the new member of the family, as she only enjoys the fruits. Secondly she finds the new member as a rival, as she fears that the other one might take over the command. A small child goes through such a challenge when he or she is blessed with a brother or sister. The whole attention of the family turns to the new member and mother has got a different meaning for all such things. It might seem to be childish to analyze this worry. Philosophies like a wife makes the man complete than a mother, too may not work out here.

    The situation has to be handled very carefully and deliberately. Her son has to find time for his mother. His assurance works like medicine for her.



    The only thing the new member is supposed to follow is that to observe the relationships, characters, …. In short, studying the new atmosphere. She can also ask the help from mother in law to get acquainted with every one, to follow the routine of the family. So she can divert and channelize the initial starting trouble very effectively. Because she is winning mother in law’s heart ‘SIMPLY’ without much of exert. Once the M0ther-in-law’s heart is won, she herself will take the daughter in-law as to the center of the family.

    Never try to grab the authority. If you go by that way the mother and daughter in-law will never click and will keep “PUNCHING” for the whole life where nobody succeeds. On the other hand the house becomes a problem factory.

    Happiness of life depends on small pleasures of each day. If the mother gets a lot of comfort from her silly worries, why not the others give her the comfort. So don’t underestimate her feelings coz others are not in her place.

    With the simple logic that any worry ‘from outside’ can seem to be baseless.
    All the best.
     
    3 people like this.
    Loading...

  2. Resmi0501

    Resmi0501 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    PREFACE :- Our first lady IPS officer of India Kiran Bedi use to maintain a diary in which she address her mind as a best friend and talk to it. She always made a point to reward her for each and every achievement as well as punish for drawbacks. So she must have been considering these habits as for the success in life.
    SRTENGTH FROM STRUGGLES
    Struggles alone can never be the guiding force to confidence and success of life. But along with other aspects, if struggles also are combined, it can do wonders. Nobody is found absolutely happy in this world. The success and maturity level of any person means the way he or she reacts to the adverse situations of life or in other words the challenges of life.
    Life never moves as per the plans. Troubles and challenges are essential to gain strength. Because once you succeed over any challenges of life you feel more strong and that you have gained potential to fight much tougher problems in life. Life teaches you a lot of lessons too along with challenges. Once you pick up those lessons and follows it, life becomes more easy and successful.
    Suppose huge mountains of problems stand in front of you blocking your way, how you can react to it. You can either cry for the whole life, or you can plot revenge against whosoever had hurt you. You can fight with problems or with life or dump the sorrows in mind. In all such options you are loading an extra burden on shoulders in the shape of hatred or guilty feeling.
    When troubles arise it is human tendency to start blaming somebody. We feel relaxed when we find a reason to blame others as it proves that the other person is guiltier than me. We can escape from the particular situation temporarily. But later our silent warier - mind starts cursing us for but we don’t want to listen. Mind often speaks - in different shapes of sleep disturbances, not feeling proper thirst, hunger, hormonal disorders, and so many other disorders. During the process of dumping pains and guilty feeling, an invisible part of human beings get disturbed – mind. Nobody is able to dump this OLD FASHIONED concept – MIND anywhere. Nobody needs the guidance or presence of mind.
    Modern positive thinking pattern doesn’t allow accepting own mistakes. According to the positive theories, accepting own mistakes projects you as weak and incapable. Also it might hamper the ambitious spirit to grow. But, accepting own guilt gives such great potential to become major leaders of any nation - be it India or America. Ganghiji and Abraham Lincen must have gathered potential form such POSITIVE attitude. Today man mocks at Harischandran, and any such saints for that matter. Are you a Harischandran, or what ? Being honest is somewhat a joke. Do you what to become a saint? These are the responds you get from other. It seems to be shameful to pray.
    Another modern theory doesn’t allow to waste life like what great people did by improving the life of fellow-beings. So it is better to dump all such volatile, precipitous, impulsive rage against the system, somewhere – conveniently in mind. When we get nervous, or tensed, or shocked to hear something bad, instead of expressing it, all on a sudden we start jollying around. Only to ensure others feel that I am not shaken with any of such things. When we receive any glad news, we are not able to celebrate it before screw somebody’s happiness. Then we spoil own life and others’.
    On the course of time, we start enjoying others’ sorrows and enter the boundary of SADNESS in small volumes. Because any problems lie in mind indigested, keeps giving you more problems. It acts like indigested food in stomach. Until unless removed from mind, or treated with proper medicine, it will get worsening. You wander around in search of “piece of MIND” in drinks, drugs, or friends. That’s the reason why the importance of FRIENDSHIP has so increased today.
    Hiding or dumping is the worst thing you can do to your mind. Suppressing the emotions is the biggest cruelty you do to the mind in other words it is cheating yourself. So what would be the actual remedy?
    As the first step, you have to accept the fact that some uneasiness is there at the bottom of heart because of the pain or scar remained in mind. Now you have to listen to your own mind. Because, only mind can guide you towards the real remedy of the uneasiness. Go as per the wish of mind. Leave mind and the pain wander freely. You can cry out, go to beach, listen to sad songs, visit your grandparents, share to a close friend, sit alone in room and scribbling to put the pain in papers, etc.
    If your mind asks you to go beyond the comfort level by confessing it to the concerned person, for e.g. if I feel that I had been cheating somebody, share the fact to that person. If your mind asks it from you, you have to go as per that otherwise we may not e able to idenify what negative thought was binding me backwards. If we gain the gutts to overcome that and go as per that, we can overcome anything. That’s when negativty ends it’s chase after us. Then only we can load our mind with positive thoughts. Given enough time for digestion.
    Next is the most crucial and important step. That is, coming out of the gloomy world. You must start moving along with the rest of the world. Now you can think what all had happened, had to happen; happened for the good.
    Don’t you feel evermore fresh, rehabilitated and strongest and gained the potential to fight much tougher troubles? The mountains of troubles no more give you troubles. Instead YOU have conquered the mountains. If you decide, you can win over those hindrances literally. Always remember to utilize the hindrances in the path of your growth. You start digging at the base of the mountains, and one fine day you will find yourself on its top. Again a crucial step! You have to help others to climb the mountains. Otherwise you are likely to develop another wrong habit – Head Weight. As weight is increased, the climb becomes tougher, and if the upper part is heavier,...
    Mind is mind after all! It is as fragile as can be thought of! So be gentle, very very careful when you deal with your mind. PREFACE :- Our first lady IPS officer of India Kiran Bedi use to maintain a diary in which she address her mind as a best friend and talk to it. She always made a point to reward her for each and every achievement as well as punish for drawbacks. So she must have been considering these habits as for the success in life.
    SRTENGTH FROM STRUGGLES
    Struggles alone can never be the guiding force to confidence and success of life. But along with other aspects, if struggles also are combined, it can do wonders. Nobody is found absolutely happy in this world. The success and maturity level of any person means the way he or she reacts to the adverse situations of life or in other words the challenges of life.
    Life never moves as per the plans. Troubles and challenges are essential to gain strength. Because once you succeed over any challenges of life you feel more strong and that you have gained potential to fight much tougher problems in life. Life teaches you a lot of lessons too along with challenges. Once you pick up those lessons and follows it, life becomes more easy and successful.
    Suppose huge mountains of problems stand in front of you blocking your way, how you can react to it. You can either cry for the whole life, or you can plot revenge against whosoever had hurt you. You can fight with problems or with life or dump the sorrows in mind. In all such options you are loading an extra burden on shoulders in the shape of hatred or guilty feeling.
    When troubles arise it is human tendency to start blaming somebody. We feel relaxed when we find a reason to blame others as it proves that the other person is guiltier than me. We can escape from the particular situation temporarily. But later our silent warier - mind starts cursing us for but we don’t want to listen. Mind often speaks - in different shapes of sleep disturbances, not feeling proper thirst, hunger, hormonal disorders, and so many other disorders. During the process of dumping pains and guilty feeling, an invisible part of human beings get disturbed – mind. Nobody is able to dump this OLD FASHIONED concept – MIND anywhere. Nobody needs the guidance or presence of mind.
    Modern positive thinking pattern doesn’t allow accepting own mistakes. According to the positive theories, accepting own mistakes projects you as weak and incapable. Also it might hamper the ambitious spirit to grow. But, accepting own guilt gives such great potential to become major leaders of any nation - be it India or America. Ganghiji and Abraham Lincen must have gathered potential form such POSITIVE attitude. Today man mocks at Harischandran, and any such saints for that matter. Are you a Harischandran, or what ? Being honest is somewhat a joke. Do you what to become a saint? These are the responds you get from other. It seems to be shameful to pray.
    Another modern theory doesn’t allow to waste life like what great people did by improving the life of fellow-beings. So it is better to dump all such volatile, precipitous, impulsive rage against the system, somewhere – conveniently in mind. When we get nervous, or tensed, or shocked to hear something bad, instead of expressing it, all on a sudden we start jollying around. Only to ensure others feel that I am not shaken with any of such things. When we receive any glad news, we are not able to celebrate it before screw somebody’s happiness. Then we spoil own life and others’.
    On the course of time, we start enjoying others’ sorrows and enter the boundary of SADNESS in small volumes. Because any problems lie in mind indigested, keeps giving you more problems. It acts like indigested food in stomach. Until unless removed from mind, or treated with proper medicine, it will get worsening. You wander around in search of “piece of MIND” in drinks, drugs, or friends. That’s the reason why the importance of FRIENDSHIP has so increased today.
    Hiding or dumping is the worst thing you can do to your mind. Suppressing the emotions is the biggest cruelty you do to the mind in other words it is cheating yourself. So what would be the actual remedy?
    As the first step, you have to accept the fact that some uneasiness is there at the bottom of heart because of the pain or scar remained in mind. Now you have to listen to your own mind. Because, only mind can guide you towards the real remedy of the uneasiness. Go as per the wish of mind. Leave mind and the pain wander freely. You can cry out, go to beach, listen to sad songs, visit your grandparents, share to a close friend, sit alone in room and scribbling to put the pain in papers, etc.
    If your mind asks you to go beyond the comfort level by confessing it to the concerned person, for e.g. if I feel that I had been cheating somebody, share the fact to that person. If your mind asks it from you, you have to go as per that otherwise we may not e able to idenify what negative thought was binding me backwards. If we gain the gutts to overcome that and go as per that, we can overcome anything. That’s when negativty ends it’s chase after us. Then only we can load our mind with positive thoughts. Given enough time for digestion.
    Next is the most crucial and important step. That is, coming out of the gloomy world. You must start moving along with the rest of the world. Now you can think what all had happened, had to happen; happened for the good.
    Don’t you feel evermore fresh, rehabilitated and strongest and gained the potential to fight much tougher troubles? The mountains of troubles no more give you troubles. Instead YOU have conquered the mountains. If you decide, you can win over those hindrances literally. Always remember to utilize the hindrances in the path of your growth. You start digging at the base of the mountains, and one fine day you will find yourself on its top. Again a crucial step! You have to help others to climb the mountains. Otherwise you are likely to develop another wrong habit – Head Weight. As weight is increased, the climb becomes tougher, and if the upper part is heavier,...
    Mind is mind after all! It is as fragile as can be thought of! So be gentle, very very careful when you deal with your mind.
     
  3. abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    668
    Likes Received:
    785
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Sorry just quickly skimmed through as it was long but who really wants to be "Mother in laws Pet " ?:idontgetit:
     
    drdiva, felonopsis, poovai and 4 others like this.
  4. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,316
    Likes Received:
    4,533
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Whats the interrelation between first & second posts?
     
    3 people like this.
  5. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,847
    Likes Received:
    1,956
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Do we want to become pets and act as per their command???:notthatway:
     
    drdiva, Roopamanju, Komik and 3 others like this.
  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    11,036
    Likes Received:
    26,818
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Can't they like send her off to some place, like Kashi? With a one-way ticket?

    Or take her to a mela (fair) and "lose" her? Like Kumbh Mela?

    Just a thought.
     
    Thyagarajan, drdiva, seekout and 13 others like this.
  7. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,846
    Likes Received:
    3,976
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Even I just glanced thru the post.. I don't want to be a "pet" either. Until the Son gets married, he doesn't give a damn to his mom or dad , he will lie thru his teeth...will not bother to call from work or get gifts or update his status..(which obviously is...boozing and enjoying with his friends).. Neither does the MIL or FIL bother whether he is present or absent......once the son gets married he and his parents will act as if they can't exist without each other even for a single minute....
    Btwn....how is Kiran bedi related to this post ?? Her husband and she are separated long back...
     
    drdiva, Roopamanju, pear and 11 others like this.
  8. Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,760
    Likes Received:
    4,258
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Mother in law wants DIL to be . :p
     
    drdiva, Laks09 and VanithaSudhir like this.
  9. docathome

    docathome Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    378
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female

    :rotfl:rotfl
     
    2 people like this.
  10. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,335
    Likes Received:
    2,542
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    She probably has 2 pets already ( fil, son)...
     
    7 people like this.

Share This Page