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How To Be Safe When H Breaking The Lockdown Rules.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by AmulB, Apr 5, 2020.

  1. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    He should have called the cops then, you should have waited till he did, it would have been the end of his and your problems. Mamas would have taught him well. It's okay, calm down, don't replay and be brave. Live for yourself. Don't live in the past.
     
    SinghManisha, Sunshine04 and AmulB like this.
  2. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    now that visa issues are not there. i can only say, keep the kids away when he is drunk. he has addiction. and once this covid vaccines comes out, focus on your career, real hard. this is a big issues in my opinion, which can harm a lot after some years and if you are a home maker it will affect bad.

    i do not think rationalizing will work much.
     
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  3. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Op

    You try to write your husband in text or WhatsApp nicely. Whatever he replies will be proof for you later. Whenever he loose control record all his shouting or violence. It will help you later. You will gain full custody since he is careless and he put kids in danger. Plan your future without him. Corona phase will fade soon, your kids will also grow very fast. Your health is most important so focus on important things, take care. I will pray for you and kids
     
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  4. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Also I want to tell all moms with small kids, when women is prepared and ready to file divorce these husbands fall on wife s feet and beg for apologies. This is going on for years everywhere. Just make yourself strong, emotionally physically financially. When there is will there are ways
     
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  5. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks..
     
  6. pinky18

    pinky18 Senior IL'ite

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    Your relationship with alcoholic husband is draining all your positivity , he is irresponsible for you AND kid's feeling , safety or either he is escalating situation to aggravate you. You have to accept that you are living life with dysfunctional and damaged human WHO is nothing but supply for economical safety. Dont argue with him , it just waste of time and energy. Decide what you want .. continue like this OR Wants peaceful home with your kids. Everyday fights between parents make kids feel insecure, and wrong meaning OF marriage. Your priority should be your health and well being of your kid. If you feel he is threating and hitting you and kids , you must take steps immediately. I dont know how long you been in this relationship, how old your kids are.... but you could be better judge for your life.. if this been happening since long time , he been like this for many YEARS CHANCES are he will never change. Change needed from your site , either ignore him or his family completely, beginning will be tough for you and him to accept you that way or either just get out from this relationship.
    Make sure you collect pics , video or audio recording of him drinking , shouting, screaming to kids as much you can, keep secret email or flash drive and save in that. As per my KNOWLEDGE NONE of the state in usa give child custody to abusive and alcoholic parent. In usa child's safety consider first. You need as much proof you can to show in court that he is not FUNCTIONAL parents and dont have any safe future plan for your kids. He being reckless in this time when whole world is scared of virus and not taking any PRECAUTION for kid is enough proof he dont CARE for their well being. You really need to be smart with his parents and him, dont share your future plan, wht you think about them, just take action. You dont have any visa issue , you will get divorce alimony and child support from him as he look WELL SET with Job and making money.
     
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:In chennai and some other parts of the world bars are closed and I wonder why Prez Trump be asked to order so to avoid crowds and get together at bar?!
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    When a girl was bed wetting even at age of nine or ten, her mother in middle of her daughter’s deep sleep, poured a bucketful of cold water over her. From very next day, the girl stopped wetting. This is true story from my neighbourhood.

    God bless.
     
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  9. AmulB

    AmulB Silver IL'ite

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    Yes sir whole India is banned on liquor, so happy to hear that. I wished they did the same here.
    But America is a free country if they ban on liquor it can jeopardize ppl lives in other way causing depression, as all single ppl who’re alone use alcohol a medium to Relax their mind. And using weed/ marijuana is also v much common in most of the states. Though it’s restricted ppl still get indulged with it. It’s everywhere the same.
    In India it’s hard to stock up. And here u
    Can have whole bar to ur home. But whos stopping.. and ppl still Choose to step out even at this time when u can have it all being home.
    Liquor is being delivered to ur home with order of dinner of ur choice. Crazy country
     
  10. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    He needs Rehab or enroll him in Alcoholic Anonymous AA. Let him see how alcohol affects a family.

    Record his actions n play it back to him when he is sober. Some get so disgusted when they see themselves like that, they stop or control, it worked for a friend.

    Ask to lock himself in a room when he needs alcohol or you lock yourself n kids in a room when he starts drinking. Say you don’t want the kids to see this. Do this every night the moment he starts to drink. Don’t open the door till morning no matter what.

    About him going n coming out, lock yourself in. Let him bang the door all he wants n let the neighbor call the cops (remind your dh that they will do that). N again don’t open till the morning when he’s sober. Say you can’t control or protect him, but you will protect yourself n the kids from seeing an addict n his foolishness every night n also putting all of them in danger.

    This is to show that you aren’t gona take any more drinking drama n kids are not gona witness it either. He can wreck the whole house but can’t come near u or the kids. Let him shout, n break things. He knows that if neighbors will call 911, he’s more screwed in that drunk state. In the night, he either gets time with u n d kids or his alcohol. Say u won’t bug him about his drinking, but he has to leave u n the kids alone. Start there for now, safety comes first.

    If your hubby is making a scene every night all drunk, it’s a horrible household for your kids. 2 separate houses, shared custody is better than that. Atleast they will be in peace n feel safe in one of the houses rather than being scared every night.

    If your are planning to separate, get many proofs that he is indeed an abusive alcoholic, videos, photos, bills, whatever you can n keep e copies.
     
    shravs3, SinghManisha and AmulB like this.

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