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How To Be Safe When H Breaking The Lockdown Rules.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by AmulB, Apr 5, 2020.

  1. AmulB

    AmulB Silver IL'ite

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    Yes @DDream i agree to every point u mentioned. Waste to contact toxic in-laws. And avoid arguing with him and keep minimal talk. Thanks for sharing helpline number. Can I call after 24hrs of the incident and mention the threat I have from H. And how will they address the situation. I’m worried about seperation at this time as it’s not favorable to step outside. If they order me to live separately with kids or just warn him. What if this step goes extreme. When I called 911 his ego hurt v bad and that is what he challenged to step outside and do what ever and doesn’t care for what happens to him and even if kids suffer. He just mentioned all this before he escaped from back door wheil I was trying to stop from the main door.
     
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Well ,if he is hitting you and the kid, divorce would be the best option.
    He will have to pay child support, Alimony.
    Contact a domestic helpline and lawyer to understand your rights.
    Improve your confidence levels.
    It's tough given the already Corona situation.
    Hugs


     
  3. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    I am glad you took my reply positively.
    Unfortunately I cannot share any helpline details because I do not live in the US. I live in Australia.
    Someone in the responses have mentioned some helpline details, if I am not mistaken.
    I am sorry I cant be of much help there!

    Take the first step, OP. Talk to the helpline guys and explain the situation.
    I am sure there will be positive news and a way out of this situation for you and kids. Try and see.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Google your state and check for domestic abuse help.
    Lots of information should pop up
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:The site cited here is in face book written in Hindi. It is about increasing the immunity from being infected by COVID by Baba Ramdev.
    It is not clear how op would find it (yoga) useful to tide over her situation with recalcitrant and irresponsible spouse.
    Regards.
     
    AmulB likes this.
  6. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    I shared this because it guide about to stay immune which is required by this family at this time when the man of the family is behaving irresponsibly. If they can't live separately then they can take care of themselves in case they catch any infection from him or they can improve their immunity to not to get infected. I hope it makes some sense now :thinking:. If not please ignore. :worship2:
     
  7. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    I would suggest instead of calling help line, contact on-line lawyer and find out what are you options, if you are really looking for separation/divorce. But one thing, helpline or lawyer, you need to have a plan what you want to do, how you want to live in future, and how you want to execute it , based on that lawyer can help execute those things.
    what you want is important question,
    You want alimony and child support paid monthly based on your current life style.
    You want separate living arrangement help from him as kids are small.
    What rights are ok for you for father visits? Mostly try he visits your place to see kids, be generous in giving visits, instead of you keeping responsibility of sending kids to his place.
    As he is the reason to divorce, lawyer fee he has to give,
    Do you have visa to live if you divorce spouse?
    How much do you earn in future based on your qualifications?

    All this you prepare answers and then contact lawyer. Always try to mediate with his lawyer and your lawyer, instead of in-front of judge. They give that option. Instead of sending lawyer notice directly tell spouse before, so that he will be prepared and will come in-terms of mediation, he doesn't want to sit in-front of judge and expose himself as a drunker and irresponsible, so he will mediate. Have some proof like pics of him drinking and save , in-case of any need you can show.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2020
    shravs3 likes this.
  8. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    OP, worst case scenario use the helpline numbers shared by DDream. If you get infected, there is no one to take care of the kids. He is putting everyone at risk. And looking at the current situation there are people dying in all ages. I am not trying to scare you, but try everything you can to spray and clean and use the best practices to keep the germs away. Overdoing the cleanliness thing now is better than sorry later. Since what your husband does is not in your control, try to stay away from him as much as you can. Going public wont help in the situation, but ask help over phone to talk from someone in your community - like a good friend of his or yours, but do not tell a lot of people. Sometimes if he knows that you are telling people, near where you live may make him a little intimidated. Think about safety of you and kids first and foremost.
     
    AmulB likes this.
  9. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    When you called 911.. even if you disconnect they will contact you and come home to check.

    It happened with me once when I did by mistake.

    Did the police come? Situation would have gotten serious..
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2020
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:THANK YOU.
    Your point of view well taken. I trust OP WOULD AGREE WITH YOU.
    REGARDS.
     
    AmulB and messedup like this.

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