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How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from them

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by honeybunny123, Mar 7, 2013.

  1. honeybunny123

    honeybunny123 Senior IL'ite

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    I used to try calling my MIL and SIL every week but after some issues with them I have reduced my communication and even if I call they are cold towards me .I try to speak only when my hubby is around bcoz my MIL has the habit of verbally abusing over phone.But she complaints to hubby that I dont speak to her.I cannot get over the hurt she has caused and just try to be cordial by calling once in a while.
     
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  2. Cuteprincess

    Cuteprincess Silver IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    Me and my DH talk on Sundays usually. We used to call twice a week earlier but now its just once a week. And sometimes it happens that my DH calls his parents in the afternoon, when I m putting my DS to sleep. Then I dont get to talk too. And YES my MIL has complains that I dont call, but I dont bother. Since all these 6yrs they have called just a couple of times. Not een for Bdays or Anniversaries.
     
  3. Reflection123

    Reflection123 New IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    I do not call my in-laws so much simply because I don't want to; I do not like too much communication with people who have built irrational expectations from me--did they give birth to me, or raise me? no! have they done anything in their life for me--no! do I think I owe anything to them...no. Oh yeah they are my husband's parents, but reliable sources tell me that I wasn't born artificially either. If nobody else owes anything to my parents for giving birth to me--I don't owe a dime to anyone else' parents too. For good or bad, I do not do things only because some people pressurize me to do them. I have never found pressure a good reason for doing anything in my life. If my MIL decides to pay me $20 for each call to her --I might call her everyday :p ...otherwise she can channelize her commandments to her natural children. I refuse to call up as a "duty" unless anyone gives me a rational reason to do so !! It might be a small thing to do....but why should I follow such commands? Expect it from me, when you do it for my parents too.
     
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  4. destinedfate

    destinedfate Silver IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    Reflection- I love your viewpoint. Its not just a phone call that is an irrational expectation.. its all the expectations the in laws side has from the DIL as soon as the marriage takes place. I really like the way you look at things.. why is it that women after marriage have to spend almost the rest of their lives fulfilling their so called "duties" for people who have done nothing for them? And when the woman wants to do something for her own parents it isnt allowed or frowned upon. Granted if a girl gets love and respect from her in laws any girl would want to do her "duties" wholeheartedly because she knows shes being appreciated.

    Coming back to the original topic. After my engagement I was expected to call my inlaws everyday. If I went a few days without calling it would be a big problem.. for them and for their son. I used to work extra hours at the time, and was taking classes for an additional degree and honestly I didnt see the point of communicating everyday. They lived with their son, and lived several hours away from where I was living with my parents.. so I dont see why I need to ask for their health everyday or what they ate for dinner. I used to have to call my mother in law and father in law separately. I made more of an effort to call my MIL then my FIL and then he used to have issues about how I call her more than him.. honestly what did they expect me to talk to them about every day? I know nothing has happened to their health in the last 24 hours.. and I know they didnt starve the night before and did have dinner. It was completely out of control. Now I am separated from my husband.. and one thing he complained about(which I know his mom spoon fed to him) was "how I never talked to his parents on the phone for a half hour before the wedding.. I just cut it short and made it less than 10 minutes every time!" I made an effort to call as much as I can.. and I knew in a few months I will be living with them.. So what in the world would I have in common with them or even casual talk that I could talk to them for more than 10 min at a time and that too multiple times a week?!
     
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  5. Reflection123

    Reflection123 New IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    Thanks hun ! You really did call them up so much :O !!! What exactly for?? Your ex-husband sounds weird, infact he sounds rather funny. Glad you didn't start laughing at his funny arguments that time....I understand that it wouldn't be a very laughable situation for you at that point. But the gentleman's logic is so flawed. If I were you, I'd have perhaps said that "I didn't speak for half an hour because she didn't buy 30 minutes waala ticket. As a policy, we give only 10 minutes kaa telephonic entertainment complimentary. That too is limited to the promotional period :p "!!!

    Sometimes my DH too tries to gives me such gyaaan ......but I only end up ripping his gyaan apart--piece by piece.
     
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  6. destinedfate

    destinedfate Silver IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    I called them up alot! I was so naive at the time.. it was the biggest red flag when even my then fiance was requesting me to call them daily but I didnt recognize it! They used to ask me to call them daily so I can see how they are doing and what they ate what they did all day.. it was beyond ridiculous. The worst was that I used to work during the day 8AM to 5PM and took classes from 6-9 in the evening. My mother in law never worked in India and never worked after she came to the US so if she called me and I didnt answer.. I wouldve have 3 or more missed calls from her back to back.. and voicemails asking me why I am avoiding her calls!! I explained to her time and time again that during work I cannot be on my cell phone.. and lied that during my breaks I dont get proper reception on my cell phone. Everytime I didnt answer her calls while I was at work.. her son would immediately find out and would text me "my mom called you three times make sure you call her back" The only time I would ever call someone three times in a row is only during an emergency! God I was so stupid at the time.. I used to think oh its just a simple phone call.. let me do it so my fiance is happy.. now when I look back he didnt go out of his way to do one thing to keep me happy. This is only one of his many many funny arguments and viewpoints!
     
  7. kirru

    kirru Silver IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    May on d r twicw in a month
     
  8. pdarshini

    pdarshini Silver IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    I would call my ILs twice a month,my husband talks to them everyday...
     
  9. pdarshini

    pdarshini Silver IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    My MIL would always complain to my hubby that I wouldnt call her....In the initial yrs of marriage they expected me to call everyday...but i never did that...we used to have fights for that....I always called them once or twice a week before,now after 3 yrs just twice a month....
     
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  10. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How often do you all talk to your inlaws over phone?(for those staying away from

    Before marriage my husband told me to call up her parents sometimes...so i used to do it....although in my community many people told me to not call up as you are still not married...and they should call you....but still i kept my trust in my would be husband and called them up....everytime they used to complain about my parents...and aksed me about their son as if he is calling only me and not them...also they used to ask them ....kab phone aaya the xxx ka....still i ignored as i found tht they feel good as i call them (later i got to know tht was their ego satisfaction..)...after marriage we used to call them around twice a week...but they always taunted me on phone....i kept ignoring...and slowly slowly i started talking to them less...and my husband stopped asking me to call often as he knows that after calling i will complain about their taunting to him...so my husband talks to them almost alternate date and me once in a while...since last 3 months i am not in talking terms with them (see my thread "should i forgive my fil") so i dont call at all :)......
     
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