How often do newly married couples with no past have sex?

I too think so. That cousin of my husband I mentioned whose wife had some fertility issues and trouble conceiving, her MIL was absolutely frantic after two years,as to why they didn't have kids yet, although that cousin and his wife were much younger than us. Now even all his friends in Singapore are having or planning kids, his school friend in Singapore, that Mk Kinsey guy's mom is desperate for grandkids, she has been insisting for many years now. I went to another of my husband's school friends' wife's Seemantham a year back, with my in laws and this Mk Kinsey friends' parents, this Mk Kinsey friends' mom was telling my MIL how keen she is for grandchildren, my MIL was silent.

She can't be that different from everyone else right? It would only make sense if she was aware of her sons' issues.

Even if MIL hopes for her son to come to glory, I doubt she is foolish enough not to realize that it may simply never happen, my husband hasn't got exceptional marks in his GMAT, age is on the wrong side for an MBA now, he hasn't got through INSEAD, he is far less hardworking compared to his friends, he's already manic depressive and suicidal which might simply exacerbate through the MBA.

She can actually hope he comes to glory through his family business, many people do well in business right, husband too acknowledges that one can make far more money through business.

I too think it doesn't add up unless she is aware of her sons' issues.

I too find it very selfish. :-( Husband's father too was a brilliant student in his school days, he was an IITan in a family which placed little emphasis on education unlike most other Bengali families, being a business family, husband's grandfather had sent his father to USA to do an MS, husband's father was doing extremely well, was very happy, not depressed or anything, he had several girlfriends, by his admission, and was having a fantastic time.

Husband's grandfather still brought husband's father back to India, he hid his passport so that he couldn't go back. Husband's father had a younger brother, so he wasn't even the only child.

In husband's case, he is the only child, is depressed and suicidal, stagnating for years, he's the sole heir, my father in law does insist that he come back, but my MIL refuses, she says she will never insist and actually insists he doesn't come back.

After being lied to about so many things, I simply can't trust my in laws. Maybe both FIL and MIL are putting on some act and both are aware of husband's issues.

I too think he won't take me, for the reasons u mentioned. By his own admission he married and his parents got him married to dispel rumors in Singapore and in their club circle in our hometown that he is gay or impotent, so sending me to live in our hometown for two long years will simply add to those rumors of his sexual issues, plus his disinterest in family and intimacy will prevent him from taking me with him when he does his MBA. He can take money from his dad to buy him a condo in Singapore, and by his own admission he will take money from his dad for his MBA-over and above his savings', but he won't take money from his dad to have his wife accompany him. :-(

His mom too insisted to my mom that I should stay behind in Singapore with a job while he does his MBA in USA, rent out the other two rooms of the condo, pay the EMI's etc...

Making me stay in Singapore would make it seem like we are a very "modern" couple in a long distance relationship...

Ironically before marriage, my in laws had told my parents that they had cancelled the marriage alliance of a software engineer girl who wanted to go to USA for just one year on a project, because in their words, the purpose of marriage was to "live together", now my husband wants to go to USA for two years, and keep me as a placeholder in SG. I learnt later that my husband had told this girl that he was planning to go to USA for his MBA and has given his GMAT, that had prompted the girl to say that she too wants to go to the USA on an office project, but my husband had cancelled the alliance then after an engagement, even though the girl had said that she won't go to the USA if he were to stay in SG, she will move to SG etc.

According to my husband, she had pleaded and begged him not to break the engagement, but he had been unrelenting.

According to this Mk Kinsey friend's wife, husband had given the GMAT for the MBA, but had decided not to apply as he had got less that good enough marks, which meant that he thought he wouldn't get into a top college, that was some years back when he was 28 and age was on his side for an MBA, now right after marriage, he has decided on this MBA again.

If husband is so Singapore obsessed, is stagnating for three years, no PR-he could've easily married a girl working in SG right, who already had a PR, instead of marrying an admin from India? My MIL too could've at least searched for such a girl, couldn't she? That would've ensured that he could stay on in Singapore.

But my MIL said that my husband chose to marry me because, in his words-apart from wanting a very beautiful girl, he said that I don't seem like a very "exposed" girl + my MIL felt that I am a very "obedient" girl who will listen to everything he says(in her words).

Beauty I can understand(or can't because he's sexually uninterested) but why want an unexposed and obedient girl? Wouldn't it make more sense to find a girl with a good job and Singapore PR/citizenship?

Husband had told me before marriage that he has some friend who has married a girl simply for her Green Card, and he is not so "desperate". Asking me to be a condo keeper in SG sounds even more desperate.

Again it would make sense only if husband and MIL both know about his sexual issues and think an exposed girl would figure it out.

Having a very beautiful wife, even in a long distance relationship in SG, would prove to the world that husband is not impotent or gay.

Husband is the one who has been threatening me with divorce from Day 1, long before I was on the "verge" of divorce. He has been threatening me with divorce for any reason and no reason. He once told me that he has given this marriage "six months" to his parents as in six months, there is annulment, not divorce. I did not sign a six month contract marriage, what gave my husband the right to decide on a six month trial period.

Plus having children is an extremely important life goal of mine, and my husband has mentioned multiple times that he NEVER wants kids and I am not going to be a mom ever as he doesn't want kids.

 

Apparently in his childhood and teenage, he was the family's best student, after that he started stagnating, that impacted him.

He claims that his mom used to beat him up like a madwoman in his childhood, and the entire house knew about how much she would beat him for any transgression and that impacted him.

His dad and his dad's younger brother had started a gold jewelry business together in our hometown, his aunt(dad's younger brother's wife) comes from a jeweler family, this was her brainchild, after the gold business started doing well, his uncle and aunt decided to be the sole owners of the business, and asked my husband's parents for a separation.

This meant that they were very poor for a few years, while all others in the family were doing well for themselves, going on foreign trips, they had little money.

After this, my husband's grandparents gave nothing to my husband's uncle and aunt in their will, + my husband's dad won a huge litigated property and started a very successful banqueting business.

So wealth returned to their family. During their years of poverty, husband's parents used to keep insisting that my husband study hard and he will be able to excel in life,but as soon as wealth returned to their family, his personal career started stagnating.

This impacted him...

He got through St Stephens' for Economics, but once he joined college, he was ragged for being shemale and unmanly, that impacted him...

 

Sorry. I meant that my husband's seniors thought that he also had some female characteristics, over and above being feminine in his body language and characteristics.

I learnt this from a classmate.

 

No I do not love him and I do not think he loves me either.
I don't think he loves anyone. His dad too says that everything my son asks for has to be granted, and his every wish has to be treated as a command, however unrealistic or unreasonable.

I think he is using me.

He doesn't listen to anyone else's views, thoughts and feelings, nor thinks about the impact his actions will have on anyone else.