How much abuse is justified to end a marriage

hi Ria,
this one is nice thread u started. u know except 2times i liked ur views always. coming to the topic. what u explained about indian origin canadian lady it's really sad she suffered more than required, adjustment and compromise never means u get urself beaten by this beast so called husband. never in India when parents talk about their daughter's marriage they will catch each word spoken by other party so that they can get exact conclusion what type of people they are, what this lady faced during engagement pre decided by in laws which college to go, in india noone agrees such cheap mentallity. getting aborted child 4times too much physical harassment she faced her parents made their girl a goat for sacrifice for their so called reputation in society, eventhough in india people are a bit conservative but noone can bear such atrocities on their own daughter, they get their daughter back and never send back, they are investing so much money on education, dowry so many things not to see their daughter beaten up everyday.
I don't think so much compromise is justified on women's part. If i was in her place i would have ran away in 1-2 yrs, its so painful to read how she went through all these years. Last year i read in Times of India, that NRI's who are settled they get indian bride bcoz for them indian girls are good t houshold work they don't need a servant, they torture them a lot same case i heard in hong kong for maharashtrian girl her husband used to make her wear stupid dresses inject some drug so as to seduce business clients she was lucky to escape to india.
All the women must know their rights in USA there is one forum for indian women so as to save them from such problems. Here case u mentioned is totally paents fault, now this is not time to keep quite and see urself getting killed everyday.

 

This thread is really good. What i feel is that all women should have self respect. They should not allow even their husbands to treat them like door mats. With inlaws they should maintain distance. They should use inlaws like pickles. what i mean is inlaws should not be avoided totally.

 

I too have the same opinion as that of Padma and Ria. The parents are at total fault here. The qualities like self respect, strength,standing for your own rights , all these have to be taught by the parents. Moreover, if a woman is abused in the marriage and she wants to come out of it, parents' support is absolutely necessary. Otherwise she doesnt have anybody else to look upto. I think we Indians have progressed so much with respect to money, education but we are still the hypocrats. Some still think that marrying a girl is the only duty they have to perform and after that they have no relation with her. If she is happy in her life , it is their added benefit , if not who cares !!!!!
I feel really bad for Ria's collegue and want to sincerely wish the best for her as she has seen and suffered alot in her life and now she deserves real good things to happen for herself.

 

i am surprise to know the parent's of the girl didn't do nothing during the seven years? no parents if they know what their daughter went through .....will take some actions.

bye

 

:waveHi all,
This shocking incident occured in Bangalore.
A former Govt official named Krishnaqppa along with his wife & son beatup & hanged their daughter-in-law.
It seems the girl was married only eight months back& even her phone calls were censored.This has happened even though her parents live in the same city.
It is shocking that our education system does'nt teach to face problems in our life.
It is shocking the girls parents did not suspect anything though she was not allowed to meet or talk to them.
It is shocking the girl herself did'nt try to escape to her parents house.:idontgetit:
There was a thread on Indian customs,like sati purdah etc.I missed it.
If anyone finds please let me know.
latha.

 

I was surprised to learn that the same mentality is in the 'upper class' also and also shocked to learn the incident from Latha's post.
I think that we should know the limit to tolerate the abuse and get help, somehow. Atleast, a hint to the police would have made a big difference.
I feel sorry for both the girls. I pray that your friend finds a suitable match, sooner.
Sriniketan

 

Seems like i am finding more answers/view points for the question raised by Huma in her thread 'If marraiges are made in heaven then why for some it is like hell'.
A girl in trouble looks for moral support from her immediate family. if that is lacking then it is only a courageous few that seek out side help and try to get out of the bad situations. Unfortunately the not so courageous face the unmentionable acts of cruelty.

Yes it is the parents responsibility to instill in their children respect for themselves,courage to face any adverse situation and confidence that they can rely on their parents in times of need.

in the case ria mentioned my take is the person in question despised the submissiveness in her father that she saw while growing up (as a result of her mother's aggressiveness)and as such tolerated the aggressive nature of her
husband to such extent. Still she had her mother's streak in her, thus ending the marraige. (just my 2 cents to expalin why her marraige lasted 7 yeats).

She has a whole life ahead of her with good chances of finding happiness. It is never too late at any age.