How many are wearing Thali/Mangalsutra ?

Hi Neha,

I feel it all depends upon husband and wife wish. What they feel comfortable with. In my case, my husband told me once that there is nothing wrong to remove thali and metti if you are not comfortable with or if it doesnt go with your dress. It is your wish. Then i gave him a nice stare and told him not to tell such things again and scolded him.Then he never took that topic :-D. Bcoz eventhough i was brought up in city i am too sentimental in all these things. So i like wearing thali and metti all the time. I just did small change so that it always feels comfortable. When i got married i was wearing a 9 sovereigns thali chain which was heavy so before coming to UK i changed the chain to a thinner thali chain. So i dont feel heavy or disturbing.

So i would suggest if thick chain is problem, changing in to thinner chain helps a lot .

 

I wear my thaali, and my thaali is a traditional Keralite thaali, so its small and I have it on a simple gold chain and it goes with everything.


DH doesn't really care, but I think he likes the fact that I have it on and I am quite attached to it. I haven't changed it yet, and I have worn other jewelery with it, so its never hindered anything. I wouldn't mind swapping it for a few hours if the need comes..

Its all upto you, and no one should judge you about wanting to wear your thaali or not.. its upto you and only you.

Edited to add: by thaali, I meant the locket because that's the only one with the significance. I initially thought of changing my locket because it wasn't traditional enought, but its what I got married with so it stayed. My thaali mala, was huge, and my MIL knew I wouldn't wear it, and she didn't want me to wear it either, it was more of a gift, so I opted for a much thinner chain with my mangalyam.

 

While the thread is still so active, I would like to share with you all a funny and cute incident which happened to me here in US. I was at a doctor's office and was waiting to be called. There was another american woman with 2 kids, also waiting. The little boy suddenly came up to me and asked, pointing at my forehead where my bindi was " DId you get your shot there?" :rotflSo cute and innocent.

 

As I wear more western outfits than Indian ones and I was a bit apprehensive about how a thaali would go with western outfits. But like a lot of ladies here have said, the thaali goes inside the top it does not matter. At the most it looks like you are wearing a gold chain and so I don't remove it. Sometimes when I want to accessorize, specially if I want to wear non-golden neck piece, there is a problem. In such cases I just push back my thaali (as it's long enough) and it gets hidden. I also wear my metti no matter what shoes. Bangles and bindi I wear only on Indian outfits. Sindoor in the maang is something my DH himself dislikes. My DH does not have a opinion one way or the other and won't mind if I remove the thaali and metti. But look at it this way, it's a small inconvenience, if at all, to wear the thaali and it scores big points with the in-laws. :-D

I've heard (not authentic information) the earlier custom was that married men used to wear a ring on their big toe to be identified as "married". Some tribes apparently still do so. But somewhere down the line in this big chauvinistic society of ours, this custom has been stopped. Some say that the women did not want the man to be "uncomfortable" and decided to take on this custom themselves and that's how married women started wearing toe rings. :spin

 

My views might seem radical on the thali/mangalsutra issue....
Coming from a moderate traditional family, I got married (arranged) with all possible customs.....I was staying in US before marriage. Returning after marriage to US and finding that - thali, toe-rings, bindi look awkward (strictly my opinion, sorry to offend) with jeans and western outfits, I stopped wearing them. My DH was very cool about these stuff and never bothered or had any insecurities that I might look like an unmarried woman inspite of being married. He knows very well that I love him from the deepest core of my heart and do not need to display with the help of these symbolic accessories.
When I wear sarees or chudidhars I like wear all the traditional jewellery/ bindi etc. Given any Indian occassion I look forward to that opportunity of dressing up :thumbsup

I feel that in India it is more of a necessity and security to wear the thali/mettu/bindi to ward of leching/groping men in public places. Here in USA, it is very uncommon to find men leching openly at women unless she is a gorgeous bomshell :whistle or dresses skimpily.


However, to each her own and at the end of the day if you are comfortable wearing these symbolic jewelley, good for you.
And if not, I am in the same boat !!

 

ooooohhh my fav topic

i grew up w/ "no jwellery allowed" rule in my school. So wearing a thalii is equivalent to wearing a jodha-akbhar necklace for me. though my mom made it as thin and indiscrete as possible (knowing me) i still cannot bear it all the time .

I wear it only when my in-laws visit us or when i have to go to india.
My hubbie and my parents know of it and dont care. But will remind me of it in times of need.

metti .....? what metti ? wore it on wedding day
bindi ......? only if it suits my makeup and attire

i do wish a long life and relationship for and w/ my hubbie but dont like this tradition. A ring on the other hand would have been easier to carry.

great discussion going onnnnnnn

 

I wear mangalsutra all the time, but i wear bindi only when i wear indian attire as i feel it doesnt look good with the western wear. I did the same even when i was in India. Also my husband is very particular that i wear mangalsutra and bindi. I dont wear toe ring as i find it uncomfortable and my husband is fine with it. He feels i look like a college girl and he wants me to look like a married woman, so he wants me to wear mangalsutra and bindi.

I think its upto the individual what they like to wear.

 

dh doesn't like me wearing thaali with western outfits and he always comments how senti i am, so now i dont wear it. but when it comes to indian outfits or even skirts/kurta tops i do wear thaali/ metti bindi etc.
he also asks me not to wear when i go to india, but i dont feel comfortable with it. so i do wear everything and it feels good to dress up well with bangles, metti, jasmine flowers etc which we cannot do here.

 

I wear thaali, toe rings, and bindi at all times.. the only place where i was forced to remove my thaali was when taking x-ray here.

My thaali is a heavy one that it sets off the metal detector in all the airport security checks.. i have to allot extra time to clear security when we travel.

i wanted a light one.. maybe during the next visit i will get that..