I was on phone call with my school best friend, now in Germany. It has been pretty long time since we had a decent chat either over mail or on phone. She is my first best friend, and I dint want to lose her in a race against time and distance. As we were talking somehow I brought up the subject of her parents not sending invitation for her marriage to my parents. I was not planning to, the words just came out. I was expecting the regular apologies, but in addition to that I got the information that for my marriage, my parents did not invite them in person. We are pretty good family friends, and I was confused as to why anyone would hold bitterness over small misunderstandings like these, including my father. Everyone knows during marriage time, some things go wrong under the pressure of time and responsibilities, especially for the girls' side. "May be when you get older, you tend to expect more respect from others and let your ego run in the middle", I thought. We decided to let the past behind us, and go forward with our friendship. Few days after that phone call, I heard my college class mate has moved to USA, and decided to call her, though she never kept in touch with any of her class mates after our final semester. Somehow it dint bother me, since I was not so close with her during the college itself. So I called her and spoke with her normally. She was also talking nicely, and told she dint contact much after college, and now that we are in usa, she would call more often. ok, fine. no probs. Then this really close friend of mine just moved to north carolina a week before. She sent a mail to our yahoo group regarding her trip to usa, and I called India to speak with her about her trip, and asked her to send me her contact number in usa. It has been a week since she came here, and I dint hear anythign from her. Guessing she would be busy with sudden move to usa, I mailed her almost everyday, asking for her contact number. No replies. Not even a "Reached safely, will call u later" kind of mail. "Well, it must be exhausting for her to suddenly move to usa for the next 6 months", I thought. but later, as I was talking to my friend here in L.A, he told me he talked with her. I was literally shocked to hear this. It seems he got her contact number from a reply mail she sent him after coming to usa. Imagine how embarrasing and disappointed I was considering we were in a girls group, and he is just her "hi bye" kind of friend. my heart sank down a level, and I felt horrible inside. Lots of questions popped on my head. Does she even consider me a friend? why would she do this? where are her priorities? I thought our relationship was mutual. I look like such a fool. He asked me whether I would want her number, and I said no. Let her call me. I will wait. I decided not to talk to her or even mail her, unless she contacts me first. If she is not interested, there is no reason why I shoud be. Moreover, I am practically begging her to contact me which sounds pathetic now. Iam not so jobless as to just wait around the mail or phone. But hey, why would I contact a "just class mate" without any hesitation, but would not call my supposedly best friend? Am I letting my ego come between a good relationship just like my father and my schoo friend's father did? May be it is not an oldies ego that is hindering them. It is something more than that. It is the pain and disppointment that whome we consider close, does not reciprocate our affection. Any relationship to be successful has to be mutual and equal. When the other party loses interest, we get the hint and do not proceed until they realise our friendship and take efforts to rebuild it. Souds logic enough. But most of us lose our close friends over the passing time because of these small misunderstandings. If I could take steps to not lose contact with a "somebody", I should take efforts ten times more than that to keep a good friendship intact. rite? But the real question here is, how long should I try in a one way relationship? I dont know. I just dont know.