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How do you say someone is good/bad wife?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by balamotwani, Oct 25, 2007.

  1. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Blondie,

    If partners accept the differences in each other, nothing like it. This leads to unconditional love.

    Thanks for your comments.

    Bala

     
  2. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Sujatha,

    There is no confusion. I wanted to know what is mean by Good wife. I know it is related to her husband and he if he certifies, there is nothing more than that. But some said duty, few said understanding the differences and accepting, so what is your view.

    Bala


     
  3. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Sailaja,

    You got my point. Some hubby's expect "super woman" then only they will certify her as good wife or ideal wife or wife forever.....

    According to you good relationship with mutual respect, understanding will help to be a good wife.

    Thanks for your comments.

    Bala

     
  4. suravees81

    suravees81 New IL'ite

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    Hi Bala.good to hear from u.i think as long as a wife provides a 'happy home' for her husband to look forward to getting back after a hectic days' work.....SHE MUST BE RATED AS A 'GOOD'......'THE BEST' WIFE!....This will more r less cover all that u listed r even more! :) after all love and responsibility go hand in hand!
    cheers.
    sujatha
     
  5. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    A prying question Bala! Who is a good/bad wife ? Now, who is to judge that..the husband, others, the in-laws, parents..who? And, why should anyone judge a woman as good or bad wife ! Just because she is attending to all her husband's needs, a woman does not become a 'good' wife..she may be docile, she may just be obedient...Hence, it is a very relative term and I see from the links provided here, there is a vaaast discussion on it.
    I think it is totally upto the wife to know and feel whether she is good or bad !:)
    One day, I may go to bed fully satisfied with the way I cooked, helped hubby, tended my plants and cleaned my house, etc etc etc...I am a V Good wife on that day!
    I may wake up feeling restless, have no mood to dust or cook and am bad tempered because of some blues...I am surely a V Bad wife on that day.
    ...It is totally upto to the woman to decide whether she is a good or a bad wife, then and there!!! It is not up to her hubby or anyone else.....What say you??:-D
    Well, a good query and you made many to think about it..and one was (Anandchitra) so impressed, she has nominated your post for FP of the month!! Good for you!

    L, Kamla
     
  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi bala,

    Was enjoying all the replies.....i dont know whether i am qualified to talk about this sensitive and broad spectrum subject.....

    I have heard and even read, infact there are lot of references to a good wife guide...but since the original text is missing...that puts a doubt in lot of historians...
    check out Ancient History Sourcebook: Aristotle: On a Good Wife, From Oikonomikos, c. 330 BCE
    If it is strict adherence to all this..then i dont qualify as one...:eek:mg:

    Thiruvallur, describes his wife vasuki ..as a good wife..and also explains the guidelines....

    bharathi's wife was a good wife...but according to me...no....

    even according to Neethisaram ---
    Karyeshu mantri, ........
    Roopeshu Lakshmi, Kshameshu dharitri,
    Sneheshu matha, Shayaneshu rambha
    Shatkarma nari, Kuladharma pathni. (I am little confused..somebody else to fill it for me...)


    but today we are into a different atmosphere, emotinally, physically and socially..does all this gel well..there are different school of thoughts.....

    being docile, silent..and bearing with whatever your husband does, does not gel with the concept of a good wife...you are a equal partner in the marriage...so you have a duty to point out he is wrong when he is wrong..


    Your success as a good wife...does not come from fulfilling your duties, or being a superwoman...

    Just being the soulmate, the other half that complements your better half.....is actually the true meaning of a wife..(here i take marriage as a institution and wife as a equal partner..again that views differ is a different topic...)

    And again in my view, you don't need anybody to give you a certificate as a good/bad...your own conscience is your judge...because this is a very broad based one...a person who looks like a bad wife to you could be the best wife to the husband....and vice versa...

    (Congrats on the finest post nominations...)
     
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2007
  7. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Sujatha,

    So according to you wife who provides a happy home is a good wife.
    Love and responisibility go hand in hand - wow, i can see you are experienced. Sometimes when a lady gets newly married then love and responsibilty goes hand in hand and then later it becomes a routine, sometimes even the newly married will feel it was much better before marriage as responsibility is a real big word with lots of meanings and if done with love, there is nothing like it.

    Thanks for coming back.
    Bala


     
  8. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Good Morning Kamla ji,

    Nice of you to come and look at my thread. Everyone had the same question in their mind. You are right, i want to judgge myself whether i am a good wife or not. My hubbby is very good that he never tells me i am bad. Its my prying question in mind that i wanted different views and answers how other ladies think. So that i can measure myself according to it. I know everyone is different and we cannot generalise.

    I am surprised and shocked :rolleyes::roll::shaking::confused2::rotfl when you said AC nominated my thread for the contest. I am happy that its not only me but also so many others who were thinking about this. I feel already i have won the contest. I didnt write for entering into the contest, i just wanted all of your comments. On one hand i am very happy, AC nominated me and many will know of my thread and will come forward and answer, on the other hand yesterday i had time (My other thread -my hubby shouts bcos of Indusladies) only for answering few of the replies or comments i got, so when i come back today i am surprised to see many of the replies are gone, now i understood it is bcos of nomination. I am happy to see so many new people answering my thread for the first time

    Thanks
    BALA

    P.S.
    AC - Please reply to my thread, i will be happy if i see your reply. I am surprised to see your nomination for my thread. Please, take it out. There are so many many threads that you can nominate. I always feel confused which one to nominate so i never go to contest side. I am happy that i have impressed you. I feel i dont deserve nomination. I just wanted reply for my personal prying query.

    Bala




     
  9. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Shanvy,

    As usual i am impressed.

    According to you marriage is institution and wife is equal partner. I liked this. Dont worry, every partner should think differently and have different views and that is best for the institution and also for marriage. So a good partner is a good wife.

    I wanted to know the difference school of thoughts, that's why i started this thread.As i said to Rajmi, i want your personal view and not reference of great personality and legends. But still i liked the Neethisaram quote. Please can you interpret it so that we can understand very well. I can understand little how we should be combination of so many. But it is better if you interpret. I know you are good at it.

    I just wanted to know When should hubby certify his wife as good wife, i am not worried about anyone else.I mean what qualities,...

    I got a shock, see my reply to Kamla ji. I dont deserve it.

    Thanks again for your reply to my thread and i am sure many will like your reply. Even my dad used to say some of neethisaram, but pls dont forget to interpret.

    Bala

     
  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi bala,

    Will be coming back..with more inputs after some time..and ofcourse will pull the horse (veda) to get the other angle...:yes::tongue:goodidea:
     

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