How do you reinforce good behavior?

Hi Kavya,

I too practise this limited choice option a lot. Aniish's teacher at the play school introduced this to me. She also told me that for children between 2 and 3-4 years it doesn't help to keep on telling them what to do and what not to do. Earlier I used to scream, yell and what not at aniish to make him clean up his toys before bedtime. I do what she said.. i tell him now it's time to put his toys to bed and that amma will help him and start doing the action. He immediately steps in and takes over. Even for switching off TV I give him only 2 options either he does it or amma does it. It really works. At his age the more i shout, the more he takes me for a ride.

Latha

 

hi frnds...

really an very interesting discussion going on...

kavya... idea of taking kids daily out will really work but sometimes bring back home from the park or play area is little diff... have u ever faced such situations...

frnds i have one more point to ask here... donno whtr this is the right thread or not... still posting... my kid is over possesive... she does'nt let me to play with other kids, laugh at them...

the moment i laugh at them she tell u dont wanna laugh at me... after that convincing her will be a big task... i donno how to tackle this situation....

 

Raj,

Actually for me this time-out works well even with DHbonk. I am by nature a short-tempered person and when i'm irritated i cannot predict what i'll utter. But soon after the episode i'll forget everything but can't expect the same from the receiver too, right? so i started practising this and it also helps me as a mom.

Latha

 

Wow lotssa great ideas coming in... I will have to check back on this thread as my DS grows older and remember to try your techniques. Nice going ladies.

-L.

 

Hi Shvap_786,

Yeah I have faced the situation frequently. Many times my son gives me a tough time to get into the car. But now it is much much better. First I try to start negotiating with him. If that does not work I bribe him. I keep small matchbox cars and balloons in my purse. If the negotiations fail I offer him a car or balloon.

Kavya.

 

Hi Latha,

It is definitely a good technique. I feel bad anytime I argue with my DH in front of my son. Children understand a lot and unconsciously they will pick up our behavior patterns. I read in some book that if we aruge with our spouse in front of children we should also make up and apologize in front of them.

Yoga, meditation and kriya really help me and my DH to de-stress a lot. I was working till my son was 15 months old. I found it pretty stressful to balance work and life. Sudarshan kriya just blew off the fatigue in a month.

Thanks,
Kavya.

 

Hi eveyone,
Great discussion going on.Anyway I came here to share a incident happened in our home.Few months back my DH friend came to our home close to my DD's bed time.He was talking loudly and she started having melt downs because she was sleepy and couldn't sleep.So he said to her if you keep crying like this I will call garage monster.Ofcourse we read a lot of books about ghost and monster(I'm a evil mom).She was always curious to know how they looked.She started crying to show him monster.He did'nt know what to know.He left immediately :rotfl

I hate when people try to discipline others kids.

Thanks
Mangai

 

hi kavya...

i'll try with these tips next time...

 

Hi Ladies,

Another important point I feel is that both the mother and father should be consistent in discipling the child. Otherwise children will realize who is the softer parent and take good advantage of it. They will divide and conquer the house. I did it when I was young My mom was more lenient then my dad on some issues and I knew whom to approach to get something done my way.
We moms generally feel bad when somebody else tries to discipline our child. But I feel that if they are doing the right thing we should not intervene.

My son has not yet learned to divide and conquer. But if I scold him he goes to his dad for sympathy and vice versa. We just tell him that he did something bad and that is why he is being scolded. Once he realizes he does not get sympathy from either side he changes the topic I feel bad when my DH scolds my boy to discipline him on an issue but I try my best never to argue with him on his disciplining methods in front of my son. We generally share our observations when my son is not around and decide on a general discipling strategy.

Thanks,
Kavya.