How do you make your kids listen to you?

But Teju, you are the parent.You are not her friend - she needs the authority figure, how you use the authority is up to you. I would like to be the model for Kiran to imitate and look up to - sometimes I know I am failing my child. There I go again. I cant understand this need for parent to be friends, you can be emotionally available to the child, but why can't people in positions of power be? Another thought for you

 

Krithika,

As always you have the best replies now just day-before i was having this conversation with one of the moms... she says she gets frustrated when the kids don't listen to her. but at the same time she thinks it's a good sign that they're having their own mind and not just nodding their heads to whatever is 'told' to them.

Teju,

I would say this is a sign of your LO developing her own independent thinking and she can demonstrate only to you, the primary caretaker, in its full potential

I find that whatever i have been telling my son he does follow them when i'm not after him. Simple things like washing his hands after returning from school and picking up crumbs coz his sister might pop them in her mouth. If I tell him even before i open the door to our apt 'now first thing i want you to wash your hands' he would purposefully not do it until i start fuming. last 1 week i didn't and he does it himself.

now one funny thing... he helps me wiping the done dishes (from dish-washer) once in a while. I told him he shouldn't put the dish down and do coz the floor can be dirty. Now this week-end i kind of reminded him about that and pat comes the reply 'yes amma i know the rules first let me start'bonk.

you must start listing out what is very important that your daugther must listen to... no choices like washing hands after using toilet, blowing her nose etc., rest don'T be after her and they do come around

Latha

 

Hi Teju & Ilites,

Its a very nice thread. Good thinking & great ideas from all the ilites as to how to mend the kids. I am the lawyer for the kids i can say.

Why do you want to distract them?
Why you want them to do this to do that?

They are like new blossoms. Please Please Please leave them to be on their own.

I am a mother of 2 girls 5 & half years and 4 & half years. In my experience, they follow and imitate parents. So As a mom i tried to be very well behaved. It worked. I tell you 2 instances.

1. My first daughter has the passination for cashew nuts. i told her the story & even she knows. but one day i fed her well & went for a party she ate too much & vomitted all in the party.bonk She was ashamed of it & THE END.

2. My younger daughter is very stubborn. refuses to study or narrate story. I also behaved like her once same same in her tone expression everything. she laughed & THE END.

You change yourself
LETS B LIKE BABIES
Hurray! it works very well.
I am Happy dear believe me.

 

Hey Teju,

I am always looking for ideas to deal with my kid but here are my little tips in one or two areas..

For brushing teeth, I found it so diff to put the brush into his mouth.. I used to get angry when he tried to play with it after my tiresome day.. but then I understood form their point of view, it is just a exciting thing to play with or even chew the bristles.. but this idea is working for me right now.. While starting to brush, I start telling him what all he ate tat day and say there will be germs sticking to his teeth, if we dont brush how will they go away.. then say that if we dont brush then only the doctor as to pull out the germs, then he will cooperate for a min, then I say ok here the germs are gone.. now lets kills the germs on the upper side, here and there' uhhh by this time his brushing is over and I am tired!

Another one once he sneezes, I run to him laughing, or show exciting actions like exclaiming and saying 'achachooo.. what happend to LO'.. he gets excited when he sees me running or seeing my wierd expressions.. at times when I dont notice, he will come to me and show his nose so that I clean it..

For washing hands, just try to say 'Chi chi Baby's hand is all dirty, come lets clean'. earlier I used Wet wipes to clean his hands, I use one of the wipes to clean his hands and then give another one to him to again clean it up himself.. he will ofcourse not clean but play with it.. who cares as long his hands are clean.. Then you can graduate her to cleaning with water in the wash basin.

All this might be tiring for us.. it was for me! to give explanations for each and everything is ofcourse difficult, but it is only until they get the idea na, so it is ok. I dont believe in saying NO for something without giving a valid explanation. It seems to work well.

Hope these are useful for you..