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How do you avoid meeting relatives every weekend?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by saathi, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. saathi

    saathi New IL'ite

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    My in laws and relatives live 10 minutes away. My husband and I both work.
    But, on the weekends, it becomes a forceful choice to spend most of the time with in laws, bil,sil etc.
    If we have a genuine reason, its OK otherwise they guilt us. usually, I make up a story if we dont want to go. But, sometimes, I feel bad making up these stories tooo but then, we dont have a choice..

    I wish I could say what I feel sometimes.
    do you feel that way too -?
     
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  2. rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Yeah I do that too.
    My MIL lives in a village. I spend half the time there and other half at mom's place.but still she is always calling me now and then, so i just make up stories like I have a cousin's engagement or I have a birthday party or I am going to the doctor for eye check up etc.

    I think we have to have a choice as to whom we want to spend time with. Going once of twice a month is ok, but every week is a bit too much.
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Saathi

    I dont want to sound wierd or that I am preaching something..but whats wrong in spending time with the family??/ if every weekend is a problem then might be tell your husband you guys can go to their houses on 2 weekends and 1 weekend they all can come to your house like a get together and 1 weekend is for resting or you can spend as you want..

    Even in US if you have good circle of friends or neighbours after certain time thats how it happens where either you go to tehir place or they come to yours...because weekends are the only time people tend to relax and make contact with outside world...i.e friends, relatives, neighbours etc.

    By the way you have both saturdays and sundays right? so do you spend both days at inlaws place?

    My thought is too much of anything is bad I agree but totally dont resist it. Make a plan around meeting them but not always at their place that way they might want to miss some days as they have to come to your house. also make it like a one day event i.e saturday meeting up and sunday resting and relaxing and doing chores to get ready for monday !!!
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2010
  4. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    Saathi,
    No other go, you have to makeup stories. I was in your situation couple of years back. But I used to spend some time there and came back home to do all weekend chores those needs to be ready for next week.
    Even you can nicely tell them that you want to take rest as you are tired over working throughout the week.
     
  5. vennelaaaa

    vennelaaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    hi saathi...
    you are not the only one...:cheers...I would do the same if I were in ur place too...
    therz no need to feel guilty about it...
    if u dont like spending time, u dont ! ....
    u can decrease the frequency but make sure u have a good time when u r around....
     
  6. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Option 1) Making plans of your own on MONDAY morning and communicating clearly to DH that this is what you intend to do coming weekend for a change.

    Option 2) Let DH meet his relatives whilst you make your own arrangements.
     

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