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How Do I Manage A Newborn And 4 Year Old--resuming Work

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by mirrorimage, Jul 22, 2020.

  1. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    I am suppose to resume work in a week...i cant let go of my work--because I took a break with my first born and went crazy to get a job after a gap and went through lots of insecurities....
    but now with all covid i am suppose to take care of new born and 4 year old and resume work---its too overwhelming and I am doubting myself....should I just take a leap of faith and start----or should I quit and take a break and relax....and search...
    I dont want to let go of job :( :( :(
    I have no help and husband doesnt support outside nanny due to covid--he cant help much in household chores because he already has enough.....
    is there anyone who can fill me with hopes that I can do it..and give me some tips please...
     
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  2. soumya234

    soumya234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Please don't quit. Please buy a baby carrier so that you can hold your newborn while you can work, cook. Cook in bulk & freeze meals. Try for a month and then if it doesn't work out, you will be glad that you at least tried. Best wishes.
     
  3. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    Try cooking freezer meals, slow cooker dump and go recipes or easy meals as you prefer.

    It's not easy especially during this time with COVID as everyone having their own struggles. Try your best and see how that works.

    I don't no where you live(which state), if covid number is stable try looking for preschool for your 4 year old nearby your home ...make sure they follow good safety precautions and cdc guidelines.
     
  4. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    If you really want to take up that job, then take each day as it comes, and work through it, organize put all time table on paper. when baby really small managing is ok, than a toddler baby.
     
  5. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    How come all this is just your responsibility? You will have to ask him to share taking care of kids and house work if you want to keep working and keep your sanity. It is not a favor from him, it is his responsibility!!! But be tactful when asking, start by asking him really smaller things to do, like thing that wont take more than 15 mins. gradually increase it. With a new born, its not easy to go back to work. Without help it will be very stressful for you.
     
  6. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi OP,
    Most of us are in similar situation...with small kids, it is getting very hard and most office people understand.

    First of all, depending on where you live, you can hire nanny atleast for certain days/hours. In our case, my H wants nanny and i want too, but nanny is not ready to come.
    Then try without school/daycare for month.. it will take time anyways since you are coming back from maternity so will take 1-2 months to adjust and pick up. Then atleast in my office and friends i ask, people understand and i know they all are slow. Times are hard for everyone.
    For me also, every day is struggle and fights and frustation. Not much help from husband and i login at nights.
    Same way keeps on going.
    Try cooking in bulk and freezing.
    My kids are 5 and 1 and its much harder. My older one pretends to be a baby and younger one is crawling or walking, eating stuff from floor, falling ..going upstairs alone,touching hot stoves. He was much easy 4 months ago, sleeping mostly. So atleast yours will be sleeping all the time and safe playing at one place.
     
  7. AppuMom

    AppuMom Silver IL'ite

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    OP ,talk to your husband and make him understand his responsibilities.Ask him to engage your older one when you are with new born .H can help with nappy changes, feeding elder one etc.This time is tough for everyone .But you can sail through it with good planning and your Hs support. Do meal prep in advance .Saw a curry base recipe in Hebbar's channel.Try it.This will help you to cut down cooking time.
    Go for job...You will be able to manage.cheers.
     
  8. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Can u hire live in nanny for few days and see how it goes? U can get her tested before she starts. If not live in then convince husband to hire whatever works for your family. If nothing works u can leave job and search after some time. I was always working and miss my kids baby days really bad. Now my kids are teenagers so they don’t need me. Please give this important time to your kids and don’t stress out about job. Later whole life u have to do job.
     
  9. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Op,
    I agree with Angela. Give it a try but take your hubby’s help. You have to get rid of this idea ‘ only I can do’ and keep taking his help. Do what is possible and leave the rest. If there is a gap he will notice and together you will try to solve problem. This is the better way.
    What I did and many ladies do is stretch and stretch to cover all the gaps. Then the husband don’t realize so easily and think you’re complaining for no reason.

    Be diplomatic and don’t lose your temper. Think of this as opportunity to bond with hubby and face your life together and approach with that attitude
     

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