you said she does not like you. she is never satisfied with you. she does not like your husband either. he even talks of separation. if even your husband feels this way, there must be some good reason for it. but you do not have to feel guilty for going and living separately. you have not asked him to do so. this has been his choice. so just go along with his decision. living under separate roofs does not mean you are deserting them or that you cannot help/look after them. living separately can give both of you your space to live according to your choice and your mil can live the way she wants. everyone needs space. there is no point living under one roof and bickering all the time. better to keep an arm's distance and have a decent relationship. "familiarity has bred contempt". now "let distance make the heart grow fonder". remember, there are many dils who would give an arm and a leg to be allowed to have their own establishment. if you continue to live under the same roof, and this situation continues, there is always a risk that it would start to undermine your own relationship with your dh. that relationship should be more important to you at this point than any other. so count your blessings that your dh is with you and don't worry unnecessarily.