How Do I Handle This

If I were in your position I would just call the mom and tell her in confidence just that the kid is going through suicidal thoughts . Also tell her to keep it confidential so things don’t escalate . You could potentially save her life . Parents often overlook kids problem . One time I got information about my kid from another parent and I thanked the parent and did what I could do to ease the situation with my kid . I’m sure the other parent will be understanding. But since your daughter doesn’t want you to call it will be hard for you to find the number unless the parents are connected through group messages . Hope the other parent becomes aware of the situation and provide needed help for the kid

 

Dear Stayblessed,

School counselor is the way to go - they can help the student without even letting the parent know intially. She certainly needs help from an adult than a peer. Your DD while is very good hearted will begin to feel the pressure if she is not abel to help. Either she can coax her friend to see the counselor or perhaps you can meet with the counselor to see if you can alert the counselor and get the child some help. If the counselor sees a need for a therpaist, perhaps then she may have to reach to the parents for insurance purposes. School counselor is the way to go. My heart beats even as I respond to you and I am truly, as a teacher very grateful for students and parents who watch out for another. Your daughter is awesome - do tell her that!

 

Rightly said Rihana!!

I completely overlooked that and suggested for us in Amreeka.....sorry! This issue is close to me since I work with a diverse student population and responded impulsively - not my trait

 

Very sensitive issue and my heart goes out to that girl. I don't have any suggestion but it is not good idea to tell her mom as that girl doesn't have good relation with her mom and I guess her mom can't understand her daughter's issue easily. I hope she finds right person to solve her troubles.

 

I think you should meet her in person. Not to discuss about this issue but to know whether it really is happening. I am not saying your DD is wrong, it's better to look into it in adults view than from children's view. Their are still young and still have more to learn. After confirming you try to talk with her first than with her parents. And suicidal thoughts should never be ignored and parents/teachers should b addressed about it. Don't keep it to yourself

As of now, you can ask your daughter relax little bit and not to think it over as she has come this far without her friendship. So she can continue to do the same being strong. First to make her have lunch is more important. I think your DD can share her lunch or make her eat hers. And better to have little chat here or there atleast once week about class change for term would give her good heads up.

 

If it’s possible I’d inform someone in the school. If not possible I would just keep quiet and worry about my kid.
I probably sound harsh but with teen girl drama you never know. How much is true, how much is for attention, what the history is etc etc. So I would not get into it. Another red flag is your kid is new to the school. And this person has glommed onto her. I feel your kid is lonely and vulnerable being the new kid. Since you have no idea of the history don’t get into it.

Actually I’m more concerned about what you said about your dd. And you should be too. You should help her cut off the contact with this person, and assist her with her feelings of being pressured and somehow responsible for this young woman’s problems. Grade 10 is a delicate age, kids have enough problems with academics and face a lot of pressure in high school no matter which country. Your kid doesn’t need this added drama in her life from this girl. I would focus more on guiding her.