How Do I Change This Habit?

Though I clicked like yet there is nothing for liking the situation described therein.
It is a question on emotional counterpoise.
Hate means they turned your enemies. They too remember and it stays green in their memory.
The rule is to forget they were in your life. But pray that they live peacefully. Never discuss about them with any one nor listen about their progress from any quarters.

As a boy, I had trouble with a class mate. He was my chum. He came to know Am well off. He said he wrote to me for help but I told i didn’t get his letter. Really I did not get his letter which was probably addressed to the lodge I stayed in for few months. After some thirty years, I phoned up and he refused to talk to me. But I heard he is is well off in UK settled with his daughter and son in law.

I regret that I find it is difficult to suggest ways & means to overcome the habit that you had projected in your post.
Regards.

 

When you are at such an impasse, thoroughly stumped for a scheme, it means only one thing: There is no need to bother. What anika987 has is a good habit, that is followed by the Accountant Chitragupta who keeps an account of everybody's deeds. Not easy for regular people to do. That sort of talent is a good thing to keep, sustain, and make good use.

Here is a prime anecdote that can expand into a good blog story. The lack of funding from friend-who-turned-out-a-liar, made Mr. Kuchela go with plan-B, the less expensive option than plan-A, which would have been possible with the help of that "friend" who is now dead-for-all-that-matters. Plan-B takes le miserable to get his daughter into Commerce, instead of Engineering, which would've cost more. She eventually marries, goes abroad, gets a job in Llyod's Bank, and helps to emigrate her father to UK as well. Plan-A might have gone a different way, with the daughter married to a US gone NRI, stuck in Wahpeton, SouthDakota without an EAD (work permit). The typical Thyagarajan title for the thread can be: "A letter lost, a friendship dead, and a man sentenced to live under cold, grey, and overcast skies for life: Keeps warm with burning hatred."

 

Let me see what others suggest here Anika. I have somewhat similar habit and hopefully I can get some insights on this.

 

Splendid. But title can never be a paragraph. At best I restrict title to contain three to five words.

 

Thank god ! It is so unburdening to read this . I do the same thing with family calls where I stick to weekends or some important news to share midweek or for occasions . In laws side, I dialled down even more and keep it very short and formal. I am learning the art of fading out some friendships after I have made some friends too soon and learnt neither we nor our spouses are really compatible and ended up in awkward situations with still some common friends !!

 

[QUOTE="anika987, post: 4221566, member: 353311"If for some reason,anyone who touches my weak spot or tries to put me down..I get downright evil.I competely shut them out of my life,give them silent treatment,make them very puzzled at my behavior without giving any explanations,will not discourage but surely not give any compliment and no matter how many years they try,I move away from them.I have cut people cold turkey many a times and in other times luckily they have moved away.I have hated them and never seen them again.
[/QUOTE]

I would like to answer this part of your post with a fun math. I would go with the binary system and assign a zero to a bad person/friend/relative/anyone who hurts me and at least one to good people. So, even if I add or subtract all the zeros, these so called people would not make any difference in my portfolio and I will be happy with the leftover one or more + digits.

Having said that, I don't see anything wrong if you react in the way you have described. I would only ask you to correct something - you should not worry about the aftermath or try to think that there is an imbalance in your thinking by letting them move away. Keep this simple- they hurt you with their actions and you reacted by letting them move away. This gesture cannot be pre-measured or planned in advance. It is the most human reaction you adopt based on the situation.

As per your post, you describe yourself as a person who gives extreme love. Just focus on that and make this a great plus point. Sooner or later you will attract only good people in your life. Don't think you are imperfect because of others stupidity.