Horrible living conditions of house.., stingy PILs.. plz suggest..!

My mil's home has one nylon wire hanging across the living room,one in the bedroom cum pooja and another in her dirty bathroom,where she always puts her undies(to dry?) hanging as a museum exhibit.The house looks like it could crumble down anytime(God I hope it does,can't bear the thought of visiting that filthy house once again).It has exposed pipelines in the interior from where water leaks frequently.
She often tells my hubby to guilt trip him"Iam living in a leaking house,and you don't even care".The point is its govt quarters and its available for free,hubby has told her several times to move out but she wouldn't because if she has to take any other house she has to pay the rent.Once i screamed when i saw 2 rats chasing each other in the bedroom.:rant
Thank god I stayed there only for a month,being brought up in a very clean environment by my parents,I found it downright disgusting.

 

I can add many stories about my MIL maintaining her house , about the nylon rope with all the clothes hanging on it, the vessels on the floor since its easier access, cobwebs, a mystery fridge where you dont know what/who may come out, storing my DH's school notebooks, old things that she refuses to throw away, 3-4 drums where she stores vessels (apparently they are for her DIL to use..thats me by the way), her shelf where she has around 20 kadais (one for each dish apparently) , etc etc.......but just thinking about it tires me !! Saving grace... we dont live with them but even when I visit for a week, I will be like ... Oh My !! :drowning

She will have a sack bag for a door mat in the kitchen area and when cutting veggies, she will put that mat and then the 'aruvamani' on that and a plate for cutting the veggies.... and she will tell me also to do it that way since then the veggie peals will fall on that sack and she can clean...but she would forget that many ppl would have wiped their feet on it... :hide::hide:

Right after marriage, I had set up the house to my taste. She came with 3-4 empty rice sack bags to use as a door mat for the bathroom and the kitchen. When I told her that I had regular door mats, her face changed.
There was a function 10 days after the marriage and people had come to our house (where me and DH lived). All the ladies came and admired the kitchen and told my MIL that it was arranged so neatly and stylishly :thumbsup :rotfl:rotfl:thumbsup and what does she do...quickly walk out of the kitchen. LOL ...

On our last vacation, I was showing her pictures of our apartment here in the US and she saw the kitchen and she was like 'Oh no, where do you store the things in this kitchen'. I told her that I keep everything in the shelves and the pantry provided and I like to keep my counter top clear of things. FIL was walking by and he was like 'Oh but if MIL comes there, where will she keep her drums of vessels and her junk'. MIL's face changed and she got really pissed off. I think by now my FIL is bugged with the way the house is but she will never let them change anything at all. She was born in the 60s annd wants to live her whole life in that era itself.

 

I think all in-laws are strictly following this one - Not allowing to appoint a maid.

 

Hi OP,
I'm really sorry for you. I have faced a similar situation at my MILs place. Since mine was a love marriage and my married friends kept telling me to move into separate house with DH soon after marriage, I could convince him and I didn't live with MIL and FIL for more than 2 weeks. My ILs are very well off but my FIL never allows to keep a maid in the house. My MIL used to do the dishes and wash clothes, by hand for all these years and since I was the first DIL I was expected to take over. But my mom was clever and she gifted me a fully automatic washing machine the day I got engaged which I left at my MILs place anyway. But I had to wash dishes everyday for a couple of weeks and I'll tell you it sucks. I can't imagine how you're doing that much amount of work. Kudos to you for putting up with so much of mess. I would advise you to please talk to your DH about this situation and tell him that these things they're doing are very unhygienic and could give infections to you. And tell him how situation would be if you get pregnant, that you cant do all this work then. You need to move with your DH to a place that has running water. We also had water problem in my ILs house but I and my DH moved to a place with running paying an additional water bill for the summer months. If you want a happy marriage you need to be alone with your hubby. And one more suggestion is that if they throw away something, bring it back and put it in its place and be persistent, you need to teach them some living standards. I hope everything goes well for you. God bless.