Horrible living conditions of house.., stingy PILs.. plz suggest..!

This happens in most of the families. Don't worry. Thank God that you are a working lady and spending most of the time outside the house. Have patience. Let them do whatever they like. Please don't react to anything. I think they want to dominate you in all their activities. First impression is the Best impression.

For time being, don't say anything. Try to adjust to the environment. But, don't do all the work. Sometimes try to tell them that you had more work in the office...etc., Don't clean the house. Relax for sometime. Let them feel that you are also belonged to their family. You have a long way to go. In six months of married experience, you can not convince anyone for anything.

Be calm and cool. Don't tell all these thing to your DH because, he may think that you are always complaining about his parents. Let them see your difficulties and act accordingly. Choose among the three who will hep you in positive manner. Whenever time permits, speak to them that you are facing problems here and there.

 

Oh my God!, When I came to my in laws house (actually it was ours but only for namesake) 20 years back, the house was all set by my mil. One room was completely for pooja, all the photos, calendars which had the photo of Gods were hung in that room. No space on the window frame for the air to even enter and no fan in that room. When someone comes visiting, they also have to sleep in the hall with out fan (they will be sleeping in the available corner because MIL will sleep directly under the fan). I stitched soem window curtains and a door curtain for our room- FIL will gather the curtain and tug it on the grill. When I placed small cushions on the chair, he will throw them on the floor and keep his dirty feet on that. FIL will remove his undies and leave them as it is on the floor in the hall. Since they stayed with us all the time for around 7 years and DH is a mamma's boy, I could never bring much change. Because of his such upbringing, he has not changed much even in the 25 years. I feel bad about inviting people over because of this. I dont think he will even change because he doesnot have any inclination to change. At least, I try to educate my son. Horrible people!

 

Even my MIL is the same. The house which we are living now is pretty much old and wall paints are already spoiled to the extent, such that dust(wall paints) start poring in my bedroom by the time i come home back from office.
Even she fills water in almost all the vessels such that i cant use one for cooking purpose. Here water doesn't come. So she will fetch the water from outside. She is one of the dirty lady who keeps all the kitchen items in one container and you wont believe. She still preserves all the toys which my DH played and used. One room is fully filled with those broken toys and other dirty items.

She use to get angry if i use any of her vessel for one particular use. She immediately rushes to me and changes the vessel saying this is not the vessel to use for kneading dough or washing veggies etc... Even i wash vessels by pouring water from hands till today. Its tough. But i manage till we change the home.
There are so many things like this which i can tell.
I got so irritated and fought with my husband as i cant adjust with her disgusting attitude.

So what he did was he gave me some money and told me to buy some very basic and important vessels which i could use daily for cooking for time being. And we did the same. In this case, my DH stood for my support and scolded his mom for treating me like this. even now she taunts for one or the other reason. But my DH stands for me always as he knows very well about his mother's character.

I'm also new to marriage and just into 4 months. But i got to manage and get the house under my control gradually. And now we have planned to shift to a better house with all basic amenities.

I suggest you speak with your DH. Because you totally need your DH support if you want to implement new things in your home. Only if he stands up to you, their mouths would be shut. I know how horrible is to be in such homes where there is no basic needs at all. I also suffered for first 2 months.
So its time for you to speak to him and get things things done.

 

change your husband. Introduce him to clean houses and then it will be easy for you.

 

Why DIL have to adjust every time..I can't understand this with my inlawz too..you are working so you can hire a maid and tell them that you can't handle house like this...and if house is like this you can't work..
Take DH in your confidence..then he can talk with PIL...

 

What?:crazy
I give up !:drowning:drowning:drowning

 

Ummm... I actually had DH's cousin come to my house for the first time, remove his pants , change into my DH's 'lungi' and keep his underwear on a grinder (that was not being used).

No words at all !!!!

 

Get a storage tank fitted like sintex or something...so you can auto-fill the tank when there is supply & use it through tap when supply goes off.

Get a shelf...may be plastic one n arrange everything on the shelf...once arrange MIL will barely want to throw the shelf...

she basically doesnt like cleaning...so what will she do of dust pans n dustbins?:bowdown

Good for you if they dont want to shift.....you n DH shift to new n clean place.

Like all have said, show DH what cleanliness feels n get him used to clean environment around you. & no....u are not at all overreacting. All the best.:thumbsup

 

Hi Ladies...

After reading i know now I'm not alone.... :rotfl

Most of the things written above combination of all i think would be my Inlaws house...... only difference it gets clean on diwali or whenever some relative is about to come.:hide: I dont understand that.... House should be clean for those who lives in it... Yeah We (me and MIL) have different theroeis on most of the things exist.

They know they are living in mess but comfortable living like this :crazy

Fridge is not a fridge but a small store room... Once i opened the dfreezer and things one by one came out on floor.... it was like they were also looking for spme space..... She never looks into expirty date... i found the packets whose expiry was expired years ago..... since then I'm very careful about the food there...:hide: There are so many...... Phew.....

Anyways good part is we live separate...... And anything would not work on them. Gave up the hope now....

 

Its ok on part of the house.. how about an unclean MIL :eek

By default the house remains neat, initially only we 4 adults were there before DS came, things will be in place.

When am in office my MIL purposefully takes all my clothes from the cupboard and keeps on arranging my salwars, jeans and sarees :spin (might be she wanted to check if I have bought something without her knowledge).

She also justifies that she was a salesgirl and likes arranging clothes. Fine, Agreed she likes arranging, why cant she do that to her wardrobe in her room.:bonk

I just cant tolerate her scratching her head and serving food in the same hand Witsend,and also she doesnt brush properly. Seems like these are silly things to point out, put a person like me cant drink even water peacefully.

My DH likes food mixed and given, whenever he is busy, we just mix food with the curry and give to him leaving a spoon in the food. In between his work he has his dinner whenever he finds time. My mIL insists on mashing the rice with hand. :bonk

And also she has no table manners, she will be licking and eating and puts her hands into others plate. @#$$##$%#^$#%. I hate it.

Then I told my DH, that I wont have food mixed with anybody's hand except me. My MIL asked wont you have if your mom mixes. Without any option I just gave a blind answer NO to save me from the unhygienic food. Poor mom is a clean freak :hiya.

And one more thing, She has head bath only once in a month and doesn't apply oil, and lies to others that she takes head bath every friday blahh blahh :crazy

She imported lice from India (yes in her head), I asked her to get comb for lice while coming(didnt say its for her), She kept scratching her head so badly, and I found few lice on my kid's dress. I showed it to her and asked her to comb properly.

Now she is kind of ok :bowdown

I told my mom I did this, She started like, dont do this to elders. Your DH, PILs will feel bad.

I dont think its wrong, pointing out a person in the same house who is very unclean needs to be informed. And I cant see my kid with lice all over his shirt.

Sorry for the long post, I can keep writing pages on my mIL