Horrible living conditions of house.., stingy PILs.. plz suggest..!

Don't get panic...you can hire a maid she can help you a lot in moping, dusting, washing clothes, utensils and ironing..cutting veg..you can buy liquid hand wash so no need to put soap case...you can manage your room according to your wish..and you can buy small rack which you can hang on wall...invite your friends when PIL are out...

 

Okay, first of all, being stingy is one thing and even then, throwing things bought by a DIL to make the household function properly out of the window is a completely different thing.

I dont have any solution. But this difference was striking!

 

This is sheer nonsense. Ask DH to make them explain that simple living and no living are 2 different things. And high thinking people do believe in hygiene. Also, make them explain that if we use bigger vessels to store water, we can store MORE water for FREE. And the soapcase will prevent the soap from melting away and hence the usage will be LESS. And doormats will help people brush their feet outside, so less dirt inside, so LESS usage of floor cleaner. Talk to them in money language, may be they would understand.

 

This doesnt look like stinginess. Stingy people save the doormat or soap case for some other use. Their attitude looks more like "My way or the highway".

6 months is too early into the marriage to change or firmly voice your opinion. Instead of you getting stuff for home, ask your husband to get things like storage containers for water and tell his mom that he got it for her. That way she might think she is getting importance and it might work in your favor.

Give it a try.

 

Hi Silverlight,

Ok now this is a long long reply take your time to read it….

I think my PILs and your PILs are related he he he.... The only good thing for me is they are in my DH's native I just go for the weekends... I make all the preparations like I am going for a camp to a forest... I am serious no joking...
Ok let me first tell what I do(just to assure u, u are not alone) and then I will come for the suggestions for your situation

Let me take the scenario I go for sat and sun..
I take two bags with me, one bag with our dresses and towels(4) 2/day for each of us... I will not have a proper place to dry the towel even if I dry they will accumulate a lot of dirt...
bedsheets air pillow etc... because I cannot use any of the things there as I dont know when they were washed may be 3 months back... Bottles of mineral water…
VIM bar, pril, scrubber, broom stick, domex and toiletries and of course a bathroom slipper…

You know why VIM bar because they don’t wash utensils with soap it causes water pollution… So before I cook anything I have kept a set of spate utensils I use when I go there, I wash it, cook and then wash and dry them and put it on the loft before I start…

They don’t hire a maid as it is inauspicious for her to enter the house, but a cow, goat, rats they are not tame ones but from the street, everything can enter but not a maid…
Now when I got married I was shocked, I never saw their house before marriage, but my DH did tell me about this probably 50% and I thought he was exaggerating but the truth is different…
Now I don’t blame them my MIL is sick (according to her) and she feels if she gets up also she will die… my FIL he is another specimen.. So now I have adjusted… Now my DH hates going there after seeing the way I maintain my house… I had to struggle a lot to teach my DH what cleanliness is… He used to fight with me saying you are insulting my family; I gave a deaf ear to whatever he said… now he gets all these things if we are going there… He is getting irritated if the house is not clean for one day… He has got used to a clean house now…

Now to your scenario:

No amount of talking is going to make you DH realize these things… what you can do is the following
· You can keep your room clean and make you DH realize what cleanliness is …
· Take him to your house and friends’ house and make him realize what is wrong in his house… and how people outside are living a clean life…
· I warn you better change your DH’s perspective before you move to your own house else it will also become dilapidated…
· Only your actions will change him and no amount of complaining is going to change him…
· If your MIL throws the doormat out take and keep it back near the bathroom, if she throws it out of the house, then buy one more and keep it… make sure you show her that you are stubborn about cleanliness in the house... If she creates issues about this calmly explain to your DH this is for her good because she might slip and break a bone if she walks with wet legs right out of the bathroom…
Do let me know i you need any other suggestion...


Thanks
Malar

 

Well you cannot talk to them or change them at all. This will not change even after decades.
You are new in this marriage. Not sure how much you can implement...DH should be equally involved.

 

A lot of people are like that. My in laws are the same. They use ground water for all purposes except cooking and drinking. The sweet water they get is stored in buckets! They never get a dispenser...they lived abroad for so many yrs and never got a dispenser! They are unlikely to change. When I was pregnant I could not lift the containers to pour water to drink and very often the jug would be empty...once I got angry with my sil for not helping even though she was in the kitchen...they must have complained to hubby who then used to get mineral water bottles for me to drink from.

Your case is extreme. Your husband should put his foot down. This throwing out things that you bring for everybody is so immature. Only your hubby can enforce change.

 

just tell them that oyu cant do without cleanliness...n tell nicely to ur mil that throwing out your things wont simply work anymore..i dont think she will do anything next time...n my sister has exactly the opposite problem..her MIL is a cleanliness freak!!!:rant
Or a good solution(which i would adopt in the same case) would be to just stop cleaning your home for one week..dont even change the bedsheet of your room..let ur DH's shoes become muddy and ful of dust..lets see what he will have to say after that :boo: