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Homeopathy for my pathi!!!!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by happywoman, Mar 14, 2008.

  1. happywoman

    happywoman Silver IL'ite

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    Hello friends,

    Im a blessed person with a kid and have almost everything in life which i wanted to_Or i can put it this way, i dont complain about what i dont have. That is the way i was brought up by my parents.!! Thanks to them.

    Coming to this, i need some deep rooted medicine like in homeopathy to cure my hubby because he seems to be a hard nut to crack.

    I have reached a stage in marriage where if i keep quiet he calls it attitude, if i talk he calls it nagging.He throws tantrums like a small child.No maturity at all.Oflate, im following the Gandhigiri method of non-violence and prefer to stay calm as the otherwise situation is having an impact on my child. My health is also getting affected due to that.

    Im unable to convince him that i cannot wear a mask and prefer to be someone which im not. Like for eg.. he will ask me to be initiating first to talk to his parents in a public gathering (we stay apart and meet occasionally). I tried many times in order to keep up his word but his parents all the time ignore me and my M-in-law has a special way of treating my B-in-laws' wife in my presence. Im a well educated person from a upper middle class family but preferred to stay at home till my child can handle certain things himself. Forget about me, those people even ignore my child and care for my S-in-law's kids when im around. There are many such incidents where they openly showed their indifference only because my hubby married me against their wishes.
    He wants to shower his sisters and parents with the costliest gifts while asking me to adjust to sub-standard ones. My child was brought 2nd hand clothes while they were given branded clothes. He is an entirely different person when it comes to his people.
    Im hoping to start working soon and want to turn the tables. I have left my hubby to do his own ways and now have found my own way through all this. I keep myself occupied and pamper with music, lots of fruits, chatting with friends, gathering useful information on the net and ofcourse, last but not the least, browsing the Indusladies website.:coffeeWith a healthy lifestyle, i lost 6kgs in the last 4 months and look great now. Anyhow, my hubby is the last person to complement me on that. Ego????

    Will things change once i start working. I want to de-stress myself by going out atleast for few hours, meet new people, and present myself to be an independent person in front of my kid. No hes 4yr old i hope he will look up to me when he gets into his teenage. I want to give him pocket money expenses from my pocket and have many plans.

    I dont want to take any tensions, the more i try to adjust the more everyone asks for it. Adjusting to a certain extent is okay but i hate when people start supressing me.SO for bad people who are on a journey to injure my relationship with my family i will make them go :spin

    All my friends, please wish me luck
    Happywoman
     
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  2. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi happywoman,

    Don't worry, you are on the right path.
    God will definitely answer the prayers that are pure at heart.

    Sriniketan
     
  3. subbi

    subbi New IL'ite

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    Hai
    It is his peope's indifference making him act like this.He is dying for affection from his
    people.Express this to your mom in law [she may feel happy inwardly that you are suffering there by may show some attention on him eventually it will set right every thing.
    subbi
    thing:hide:
    subbi
     
  4. CarpeDiem

    CarpeDiem Senior IL'ite

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    Hi HappyWoman,

    I like your attitude and spirit. I know that it must be tough for you but you are certainly on the right track. When we decide to take control of our lives and are not dependent on others for our happiness, that's when things truly start changing. We then become completely responsible for what we feel and anything that happens to us as a result.

    Taking charge of your life by being physically fit, staying healthy, eating right, concentrating on hobbies and other activities is a great start!

    I know it's hard - to talk or not to talk. Which is better - to be considered a nag or someone who has an attitude? I guess, I'm dealing with the same situation right now and currently I am using the "minimum talking" approach. It's been a great character-building experience for me. Since I don't talk unnecessarily, there are fewer chances of being misunderstood. But ultimately, we have to achieve a fine balance between keeping the peace and maintaining our sanity :)

    Good Luck!
     
  5. CarpeDiem

    CarpeDiem Senior IL'ite

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    Dear hopeforgood,

    I totally understand the mental anguish you are facing. I have read all your previous threads. I know you are putting in your 200% for this marriage to work. I can also sense by all your posts, that there are so many issues plaguing your mind, right now.

    Why does your husband want to leave the house now? Was there a serious fight that ensued? As long as you didn't tell him to leave the house, you don't need to feel guilty. Make sure you behave normally and be calm around him when he comes back home. You just do your duty and keep yourself as busy as possible.

    My prayers are with you. We're all there for your support and I'm sure you'll come out of this being a stronger and smarter woman.
    What doesn't break you, makes you stronger!

    God Bless!
     
  6. chinmunni

    chinmunni New IL'ite

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    hi there,

    Good thread.

    I feel its better to leave your own people on their own for sometime for introspection. Theres a saying if u love someone set them free they will come back if they belong to u or else not.
     
  7. SoaringSpirit

    SoaringSpirit Silver IL'ite

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    Great going Happywoman! That's the spirit!

    You sound determined, positive and you have a great plan. No one can stop you from going places now!

    Wish you all the best.
    SS
     
  8. SoaringSpirit

    SoaringSpirit Silver IL'ite

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    Hopeforgood,

    Since this thread belongs to Happywoman I will not reply in great detail about your issue here.

    Your situation is very tough indeed. I think you should very seriously re-consider continuing this way. Patience, diverting your mind etc. is good and workable in certain situations. But yours seems like a very extreme case to me.

    Anyway. I do not like to suggest people to break a relationship unless they have exhausted all hope or all means of reconciliation. You are the best judge of whether you have reached that point or not. So do think seriously how much you can take and for how long and then evaluate what you should do.

    My best wishes.
    SS
     
  9. hydgrr

    hydgrr Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi hopeforgood,
    Hope your husbamnd gets rid of his sissy behaviour and gets some sense of his mind and comes back to you soon.

    -priya
     
  10. JayaJ

    JayaJ Senior IL'ite

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    Happywoman,

    Go for it! best of luck in finding a good job in a good company with flexible working hours. Give it your best!!!

    But i wonder why ur husband is indifferent? is it his nature? or has he changed after marriage?

    anyways, take care and all the best.
    JJ
     

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