Home maker vs Working woman- Who is Great? and Who do you like to be?

I am saying 12th man comparison does not apply to homemakers and I mentioned I felt you attributing her lines to you mom is wrong .my reading comprehension skills or lack of those skills made me see your statement like that .

 

Indu, saying things like my sis ignored her kids, or world needs my sil more than her family, or I need to work to change myself....is more than personal attacks and unwarranted.


My sis and sil decided what was best for them and everyone respects it. And my sis does quite balance her roles very well. So no extreme. I can never judge their decisions. And how do you know that I have never worked?

I am sure had you been at the other end of the spectrum, (I mean been a homemaker yourself) you would have been as profoundly vociferous of the virtues of homemakers as your are now about being a working women.

you Are making this a debate of what you are against others. So be it.

Peace.

 

Exactly... One can't be "Just" a specialized batsman and do nothing when it comes to fielding. If not for bowling, or wicket keeping, he should be at least chasing after the balls somewhere in the ground. So, it is not just about bating alone.

Same with bowlers and wicket keepers. They should do some fielding and bating when it is required. It is a team game. One should complement the other to win the game.

Having said that, when a family require more financial support, it is important that SAHM to start doing something 'within her expertise' to earn money and contribute towards financially. Her financial contributions at the time of financial crisis would be more respected and valued than her house chores, though she works 24/7 inside home without any rest.
At the same time, when the family is financially well to do, but lacking some important care at home (little kids, older/sick parents, busy/travelling spouse, kids with special needs, or the natural need of a mom at home), then it is important someone should stay at home to balance it. After all, we earn for the family's happiness. Earning something at the cost of the family happiness does not sound logical to me.

Here, it is all about setting priorities and working towards it.
Just like a master batsman comes to ball... or a fast bowler strikes some sixes when it is needed.

When a batsman says, I have scored more than 100, so I can't field.. then it is wrong, against their team sprit.
Similarly if a SAHM says that I work 24/7 at home, so I don't have to work outside when it is needed, then it is also not right.
Same goes to working women too. They can't say, I am career oriented; thus I can't quite working when they are required to take a break.

Such people are the problematic odd cases here. We are beating this thread to death only by speaking about these exceptions.

As for wasting talents... You can always utilize your talents outside of an office... at home, at kitchen, or at your kid's education.

 

Productive need not always mean "monetary gain?"

true..a woman needs to do more than just housework but it can also be something that she likes..

learning crafts..
learning more cooking/baking
tailoring
dance
Fitness
fashion
yoga
even housekeeping
etc etc..

the above may seem like an hobby..but when done with passion and at the right time in in life,it can help with even "monetary gain".one can become a dance teacher,yoga instructor etc etc..

it need not always be related to IT field.We can also do more than that.


following our passions is not just an hobby but when learnt the right way with dedication,it will always help in making money which in today's word according to some equals success.

 

Nice to read all discussions. I have been working all along.so it was nice to know that the SAHMs are happy about not working and are able to advocate the same and do have a sense of achievement. I do have this fear about how I will cope with being a SAHM.This discussion has shown me the other perspective.

 

I personally feel maintaining a Home is the greatest job.. I am a working women myself but at lot of times I fell proud of my mom how she did everything for us ( she is a home maker).. if you're a working women, then it adds more responsibility.. to define ourselves and learn new things at work place and then take care of home after work.

Nevertheless working women or a home maker... both will have challenges.. amongst them working women find more challenge as they have to balance out both areas.:2thumbsup:

 

Both are great! no one is less than other.... while working, doing dual role of homemaker and working women, was not that easy. there will always work thoughts going on my mind and i had to forcibily concentrate at home activities. quite stressful. I had the support from DH at home, but once his work load increased, i was handling alone. anyways manageable. another stress was inlaws stating my parents doing less in this and that formalities, but my parents were doing beyond their budget and beyond the mark. i felt like, my income, my effort, my character, my or my parents good qualities were not considered, only the small amount 1000 or 5000 was valued more... i dont know how people see status with these formalities. i was not happy with that and that create a lot of stress and now am just ignoring that. after leaving job, i dont have the job thoughts, so no stress and completely concentrating on taking care of home and family members makes me feel good. but i still miss my challenging work days... i was good at my edu and career.. may be in future, i start working again... that time i will be missing my only-homemaker role

 

After reading first 10 pages of this thread, I am confused. In the sense that I always wanted to work after marriage, but didn't got a single job to do. Forget job, never was called for an interview. I felt incomplete, insecure, always free, etc etc. I still feel so.

Before marriage, I was working, I enjoyed every day of it. The sense of achievement was so high. By no means I was not a good student till schooling, but got lot of inspiration from college professor. When I got first rank in college in fist semester, my principal said that if I will get aggregate distinction she will offer me a job in college. And I got it, I was just 20 at that time. First girl in house to get a job at that young age, parents were so so so happy.

Please I know I am nothing in comparison with you all women, who must have studied hard, got high ranks in jobs. But I was happy with whatever I was. Then I got married, and had to resign from job. And after that after trying every day on job websites, I never got a job.

This still hurts. It hurts like hell. I want to work but I amnot good enough for any work.

But I am happy, I am happy as I have peace of mind, I make fresh food for DH for every meal. I am happy to be homemaker and I respect women like me, who wants to work but has no option to do so and happily manage their home.

 

Hi
Rather than comparing which role is great...appreciate women who can handle both the roles perfectly
One may be capable in handling household perfectly the other may may be professionally too good

 

Hi all,
I like working women, but I like more home makers. There is one proverb in telugu, "kukka chese pani gadida cheyyaddu" In polished way means do your respective roles properly rather than doing others work. We women our self running for something that is far instead of making more proper house work. Example: Keeping more stress in turn imbalance hormone levels, weight gain, TTC issues, ready made food, frozen food, instant food and messy house in the week days or most of the time.
Balancing both will also have so many compromises, quality of time spent with family/friends will be less. Also by the evening feel like I am also tiered, why can't spouse help me little/more. Not giving spouses to grow more in their career because of shared house hold work. If the kids are small, day care expenses are way huge also for after care.
I would say if you have parental help from India or in India on regular basis then it is worth thinking. So many times we as women never leave office politics there itself, carry forward to house. Stress full days at work has more impact at house.
Irrespective of this, home makers have slight disrespect in society. They manage house hold work much better than working women. Also if society don't see them properly, why we as a women disrespect home maker profession. We know, even taking care of house is not a small task, there is no weekend for it. Need to cook every day or even every meal. Our Indian cooking is elaborated one.
Our grandmother's generation are stay at home mom's, they used to balance complete house with more than two kids, relatives etc., Now we feel, we can't even take care of kids.
Also please don't compare a women's life style with some cricket or any other game. Its a one time game in a year/quarter. Even that cricketer has retirement at around 37 years.
If we can, then we have to work. Now-a-days most of the people struggle for getting jobs, and after marriage and kids, it is more difficult to get a job(except recommendation candidates) and manage to prove yourself in work. And every one knows, if both of them work, it would be financially better, but that is not the end of it.
I am not disrespecting any one. I would say we as a women, don't disrespect other women's decision. There is big amount of people who respect working women in society. Lets have at least half of it who respects home makers, otherwise we would end up materialistic life styles. I see many work places, they pay comparatively 5 to 10 k less than men's salary for same position. Don't know why. Think on these lines are we getting exploited by these companies rather than working women is greater than home maker or vice versa.

If it hurts anyone I am really sorry.