Help required for my friend on her husband's behavior

Dear CBI

I think your friend has got herself into a fine mess! She should have initially(before her BIL raped her) made it known to everyone that he is a womaniser.Agreed that she is a quiet and innocent person.But that same attitude has helped her get into this delicate state that she is in now.

Now everyone thinks that since she is not talking to her BIL,all fault lies with her.Even now,I think the only solution for her is to tell her parents and sister about her spineless BIL. Atleast,that act will lighten her heart if not anything else.

For all you know,her sister might actually turn out to be a stronger person than her and might disown her husband and lead a life all by herself.Once her parents come to know of this,I am sure they will be ashamed to have accepted financial help from such a beast. Even now her BIL is taking advantage only because he is very sure that she will not tell her parents and sister.Once everybody comes to know,that will put an indefinite stop to this behaviour of his and he will not be able to show his face to the outside world.That is exactly what he deserves!

 

Dear CB Imli
This readslike a story in" Woman'S Era" Magazine. Too bad it is happening to a real life person.
In these modern times, it does not pay to keep thinking of "what will people say" and all that. Its each person to her own.
I think it is a mistake that your friend told her husband about the incident in the first place. It was not her fault. So she need not have felt guilty about it. Had she forgotten about it, it would have been better. Time heals.

Ok, no use talking about past. So she told her husband and he turned out to be a complete rascal. And shows no sign of improving his human self. I think your friend should walk out and make a new life for herself. And she should also tell her sister, because you say that scoundrel BIL is still upto his old tricks. Dont worry about breaking house and all that melodrama. If the house is not built on trust, dignity and respect, it deserves to be broken.
There is life beyond a patidev , plenty of it and more wonderful, if only such abused women come out and look.

Manjula

 

Maya has to step up

Your friend Maya is suffering for no fault of hers...and also dragging her near and dear ones, which is the saddest part here. She cannot lead her life in this mess for long..and also she has a daughter's future to think about. I think in the first place Maya's BIL has to learn a lesson or else his behaviour will continue and what is the guarantee that it will not effect his own 2 daughters and Maya's daughter? He might repeat such things with them. Its like feeding a big dragon and keeping him as a pet in the house.
Your friend has to talk and confide in someone who can help her out of this situation and fight along with her. In her situation that person is none other than her eldest sister. They both have to talk and then think of a way to tackle this BIL and then Maya's husband. And if the men don't budge, there is no point in tagging along with them...Maya and her sis can step out and lead a much better life and also give their daughters a better life. You have also mentioned that Prakash does not care for her own daughter...then what is the point in Maya suffering all her life and put her daughter's life in trouble too.
Or one other option is for Maya to talk to her second sister and ask her help in tackling this situation. Seems like she is the only strong person there who can boldly speak. Maybe as a first step, Vina can talk to her BIL and see what he has to say. That way it will be like giving him a warning that if he does not stop all this, the whole episode will come out. For all you know he might get scared and might change.

My best wishes to Maya!
Sihi

 

Re: Help required

Hi Cb Imli'

Its better for maya to come out of her husand and inlaws house and lead a life separately. Also she should somehow punish h er sister's husband by telling the truth to her family esp her mom and sister. Whether they believe her or not, she will have a satisfaction and relief that she has told abt that incident that she kept suppressed for a long time from her family and make them to know that sunil is not good to believe in everything.

 

Re: Help required

HELLO,
this is very sad news. first ur friend have to tell this to her sisters,to her parents,then she have to tell that her hubby also know abt her bil. she have to come out from her husband,defl'y she & her sister can lead a happy life without her husband,there is no guilty feelings for ur friend,that she will spoil her sister's life,she will spoil her sister's life if she doesn't tell the truth abt her bil,also they all have to gotogether & threaten her bil. there is no point to talk with ur friend's hubby as he knows everything,also he won't change.
all the best for ur friend.

 

Re: Help required

Dear CBI
As everyone said your friend should have told her parents. Same thing Happened in my life but it didn't go to rape.
Mine is....
I have 2 elder sister similar to ur friend. My big sister was in Madras and second one in Canada. My mom had to go to my second sister’s delivery to Canada.
We lived in Trichy during holidays myself n my dad will go to my big sisters house to play with sisters son. On day we were packing things to go back to Trichy that time my sisters son was having severe stomach upset he became so sick (as we all will love our sisters child a lot) I love him a lot so stayed in Madras to take care of him.
My BIL @ night touched me in a wrong place even though my sister was sleeping in their bed room and also his father was in the other bedroom When he did that (worst time of my life which I will never ever forget) I suddenly woke and then he said sorry n asked me to go to sleep then I said only one thing to him " Since I don't have a brother I thought you as my brother” Then he begged me not to tell my sister and he went to their bedroom.
After that I couldn’t even sleep so switched on the lights, I was reading some book (truly I was crying coz I don't know what to do). Like ur friends BIL my BIL also had good name in my house. So I was afraid to my parents and more over my mom was not in the country. Next day my dads close friend came and I went with him to Trichy.
Whenever my mom calls she will tell me to go to my sisters’ place I strictly will say no. She will ask me again and again the reason for my refusal. After that I never spoke to him.
After that we moved to madras and one day my mom asked me to come with her to my sisters place for a stay and I said no. She asked again n again and atlast she started crying and begged me for the reason. I started telling the whole thing. She was stunned but I asked her to promise me not to say a thing to my sister coz their life isn't good they had lots and lots of fight. But one day when my mom went there he has told some bad words to my sisters and my sister was crying to my mom then my mom out of frustration said everything.
It became a big problem. At last she is still with him and now they are in Canada. This incident made me mentally sick but now I got married to a great man he is my best friend and we are expecting our first child this may. But my husband doesn't know anything he knows I hate my BIL coz I will tell my husband he is not at all friendly or supportive with/to my sis. Even if my husband knows this he will definitely hate my BIL not me and even never talk to him. But I don't want to break my family so I will talk my BIL because he is married to my sister and so does everybody in my family. (Especially my second and myself)
So as every one said your friend should have told her parents at least ask her to tell now coz that idiot shouldn't live happily when ur innocent friend is suffering like this.
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[FONT=&quot]Hope everything gets resolved soon. I will pray god for ur friend. Ask her to be strong.

A man when he marries a girl who has a younger sister he shouldn't automatically think of her in a wrong way. I hope some day they will start treating like their own sister.
But not all men are bad.

Cheers
- Dhivya
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Re: Help required

Hi CBI,

My opinion is..............

Maya shd tell first all matter to Vina. They both shd talk to Sunil that why he is doing such things wd Maya.They shd threaten him so that he will not do such things agn.Even after this he is not stopping then they shd tell to Indhu n parents.They both shd talk to maya's hubby also.

This is a very serious matter.And may b Indhu and everybody will not believe Maya.They can say why she did't tell earlier.Its so long why she is telling now.And ofcourse when she will reveal all this Suneel will also try to prove that she is telling lie.He is not such type.

So first she shd convince Vina and talk to her.