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Help me to get my real husband out of him

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by dimple7, Apr 28, 2015.

  1. dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    thank you.....
    actauly the way Rihana wrote about my parents ....i dint like
     
  2. dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    i dont know how to make him look through the facade.
    plz suggest

     
  3. Rohanj

    Rohanj Gold IL'ite

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    Then get him to exercise. That's a solution. There are people who might be weak physically, but exercise will get him do well. Ask him to do cardio training. That will increase his stamina. If he's feeling really tired after days work, you can go for intimacy early in the morning.

    But all these are solutions after fixing those leaks. You'll have win him first then in laws through him. Why did he liked those 2-3 girls? If he can provide you with this information, you might get some insights on what actually he likes. You might get an idea on his mental setup regarding these issues.
     
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  4. dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    please tell me how do i talk to him, as i cannot claim that its impossible for a man to be so innocent/ignorant about sex in this present world.
    Also how do i direct him to spill the beans ? please help
     
  5. Rohanj

    Rohanj Gold IL'ite

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    Who is more closer to him? I think it should be his mother. Try to win someone who you think might be influencing his decisions. Take that person into your confidence and then change the whole situation. It's like taking control of a King, by first winning over his Prime Minister. Now for that you'll have to be very careful. Make sure that you're moves should look genuine.
     
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  6. dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you.....
    last idea is really good.
    and for exercise , i have asked him several times to do exercise, but he is doing morning shift and needs to get up too early and sleep too early. coming back home, take rice. After that there is time mgt prob to find time for exercise. :-(

     
  7. dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    thank you.....good idea.
    One more thing- he never finds it important to keep any secret /private talk between us. Most general discussions between us/plans that we make, he will inform his family.
    Thats ridiculous.
     
  8. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    Dimple,
    He definitely needs sex counseling. Exercise etc.. I agree. But you first need to take him for counseling. Some guys have anxiety of performing and end up not getting excited physically. Since it is the initial days of marriage, it can't be attributed to anything other than anxiety. If you tell him to go visit a doctor, he may not to do. Because for guys it is a big thing. So you fix the appointment and take him. You have to be a little patient now. (I know it is not easy to be patient) But think it like this.. he needs help. There are many things that the consultants will be able to tell and guide, which many may hesitate to share openly in this forum.
    All the best for your future dear !
     
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  9. VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    Deal with one issue at a time. At present, forget about the rest. Things will fall in place once physical intimacy is established.
     
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  10. Rohanj

    Rohanj Gold IL'ite

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    Ideally, he should be sleeping for 8 hours. But he can take 6 hrs of sleep at this age. That's enough for him right now. He can give you 2 Hours daily. Then you have Sundays.

    And he should keep somethings between you two. He should not burp everything out. Somethings are ok to discuss, but not everything. Tell him clearly that. Otherwise, if you start asking him about those past girls as a part of your plan and he will go out and burp it out in front your in laws ruining your attempts. That's why you look to win his close friend in his family first. Because then you can have a good control over him.
     
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