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Help me to get my real husband out of him

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by dimple7, Apr 28, 2015.

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  1. Apr 30, 2015 #11
    catwalk

    catwalk Gold IL'ite

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    As other IL's suggested, give him some more time ''realize'' that he is married. Some men like their partner to be very submissive. Sometimes a demanding partner may kill their instincts or confidence. So you may slow down with your expectations / demands, at least for time being.

    Do not plan children until you settle with this relationship. Life become more complicated if children are involved. So wait. Keep all options open.
     
    catwalk, Apr 30, 2015
    catwalk, Apr 30, 2015
    #11
    2 people like this.
  2. Apr 30, 2015 #12
    Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    amazing calculation Rihanna. R u an accountant by any chance.
     
    Joyoflife, Apr 30, 2015
    Joyoflife, Apr 30, 2015
    #12
  3. May 1, 2015 #13
    dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you alot. Your advice seems very logical out of the 1st two/three. Will try to apply.
    But didnot understand your last line.
     
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    #13
  4. May 1, 2015 #14
    dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    thank you so much
     
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    #14
  5. May 1, 2015 #15
    dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    thank you so much.
    He is mamma's boy coz he hardly uses his brain on petty issues of his/our life. All consent he seeks from his two elder sis and mom
    He is totaly dependent on them for silly ideas even for keeping housemaid (when we both are staying alone)
     
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    #15
  6. May 1, 2015 #16
    dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    ok lets see
    Actually i tried to give him time. I waited for two weeks few days back but he hardly took any initiative to get closer to me either mentally or physically. So i got worried, coz for newly married couples the excitement remains at the peek, where he hardly took any initiative. When later i asked him if he had any problem, he said simply there was no reason.
     
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    #16
  7. May 1, 2015 #17
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Is it possible that he is worried about you getting pregnant? Is he uncomfortable using a condom? If so....you could use the pill or some other family planning device till you are both very comfortable with one another. If he is worried about pregnancy....it can cause dislike for sex. If he knows you are safe from pregnancy...things may improve.
     
    yellowmango, May 1, 2015
    yellowmango, May 1, 2015
    #17
    1 person likes this.
  8. May 1, 2015 #18
    dimple7

    dimple7 Gold IL'ite

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    Seriously Miss Accountant,....when my parents visited, my father didnot let him spend a single penny...even everyday vegetables, rice, sugar, tea etc...all my father spent.
    And after all these my hisband didnot gift them anything on my dad's bday nor he cared to wish him
    and for ur kind info my husband got two rewads in between and one increment too, but didnot disclose. Somehow i came to know.
    and lots...so understand the whole problem before u comment.
    now tell me...
     
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    dimple7, May 1, 2015
    #18
  9. May 1, 2015 #19
    Rohanj

    Rohanj Gold IL'ite

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    May be your husband is naive. Hence, he may be acting this way. He might not know what a man should do after he's married. I hope you're understanding what I'm trying to say. May be he views marriage differently from you. You could've guessed it before getting married to him. You must have talked to him before marriage. How was he then?
    was he the same as he is now?
     
    Rohanj, May 1, 2015
    Rohanj, May 1, 2015
    #19
    1 person likes this.
  10. May 1, 2015 #20
    jingi92

    jingi92 Gold IL'ite

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    i hv been reading these posts ... all of them hv given u real gud inputs ... i hv a doubt .. did he have a gf bfr marriage???? ... is that the reason he is "moving away" from you ... i hope you dont mind me saying this ... but was jz wondering ... hpns sometimes you know ...

    here's hoping it is not the case and wishing you all the very best in life ... :)
     
    jingi92, May 1, 2015
    jingi92, May 1, 2015
    #20
    2 people like this.
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