Help - Clingy baby !

Gayathrir,

You say earning while learning was a good idea a decade back---

Thanks a million for knocking off a few years off my age. Actually, it was more than a decade back. Anyway, wrt Selvis post, one thing I learnt in my Montessori days is that children learn to non-cling very soon. They would arrive as wailing toddlers, clinging to mom's finger and then teacher's finger. Within a month, they would want no one except their friends. I got a forward once, allow the child to hold your hand, very soon, he will not want to. I learnt how true it is during those days.

V24

 

Dear Friends,
I wanted to avoid, poking my nose (as usual?) in this thread. But I have become a compulsive intruder, of late !
What V24 says is very true. Children un-cling very soon, to our shock & dismay, at times ! My son left me , for the first time, when he was 2, for a stay with my SIL. He wailed so much, leaving me & going, for the first time without me by his side. Within 2 hrs, my SIL phoned to say he was very fine & playing happily & never asked for me even once ! To say that I was upset, is putting it in mild words. When he came back after a week, he was a happy child.

Mark my words, friends, we imagine, our children will miss us. It hardly happens. Only we miss them, not only that, we miss that they did'nt miss us ! This is a valuable lesson I learnt as my children grew up & reached various stages in life. I repeat myself Gibran's words
Your children are not your children
They are the sons & daughters of Life's longing for itself.

Have I given a philosophical twist to a thread for young mothers?
Well, that is perhaps me !
Love,
Chithra.

 

Hey C m'am,

I love that saying since years, it is one of my favourites!

This is for all you mothers and all your children...


"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."


Hey Selvi, hope you enjoy your son in all his stages!


hasita
(longing to be a bow)

 

Wish all mother-in-laws could know and understand this, there would be much much lesser problems for females.
:evil: :tongue

 

My experiences

Hi,
Sorry for butting in; though not a montessori teacher, being a child and student counsellor, I have all along seen and guided so many mothers about this non-clinging attitude of kids. They want to cling to us only for a while then we are the ones who cling to them in all aspects. But when it came to me I really was unable to face the situation. For making my daughter happy I left my job. I am highly dependent on my 6 year old daughter in so many ways and I feel that I am doomed if she is not around, though I remember my father's words, be it daughter or son dont be so possesive on them for you will regret later. Love them but dont thing they are your own is his regular saying.

By the way if given permission by IndusLady I will be happy to share my experiences.