Help and tips needed to manage baby alone

Hi Pavi

Hope your mom gets better soon. Anyways, u will grow as he grows this is from what I learned.
My mom left when Aditi was 3 months.

Even I used to cry for every small thing. During the fall small bugs will come inside the house(no matter what) I will cry whenever I see a bug.

If she cries I will cry but trust me you will do a great job & learn a lot if u take care alone. You will never know how much strength u have until u DIY(do-it-yourself).

I guess u have a baby bath tub, which will be really helpful. Also don't worry if the house is clattered, during the weekends ask ur hubby to do. Get lot of instant powder like pulli kachal paste & kurry leaf powder, paruppu podi(i think u r familiar with these if not I am sorry), also make (or ask ur DH to make) dosa/iddli mix on weekends. All these helped me a lot.

If u r having plans to pack lunch for DH, do pack for urself too, that way u eat on time also u can eat with a spoon & get back to him if he cries. (this worked for me).

Have a wash cloth with u coz if he spits u can clean instantly.

Once u get to a routine u will be able to manage all this pretty well.

Most of all, have ur DH support(physical not moral)/help, that will be a great boost. If we let them do they do will pretty well.
If u want to cry, do cry let ur emotions come out. That will be really helpful.Especially when we c their face we will cry &thats absolutely OK.
Also u have IL to pour ur worries/queries/whatever-it-is, we all r here for u.

Hope this helps.

Dhivya.

 

Dear Pavi

Hope ur mom get well soon.

My mom left to India when my son is 2 months old. I wanted her to be with us at least till his first vaccine bcos i dont know how to take care when baby is given shots bcos they might get fever and i dont know how to react to it with babies. Thank god she was here even thou his shots appointment was post poned ie 2 days bfr she left india he got shots, but nothing to worry he didnt get fever,Thanks god.

I was first scared to take care of Vinay alone but my husband was so helpful in such a way i never miss anyone. He was working from home luckily the nect day my mom left to India and that gives me strength, I was bathing him alone.. My husband helps me during that time esp while head bath..

When he sleeps i used to do all other work like cooking, cleaning, washing etc. One problem is my kitchen is n basement so every 2 to 3 mns i use to come up and take a peek at him like what he does bcos he puts cloth or other items kept beside him on his face, So never keep soft toy or cloth beside babies...

Try to take bath while ur hubby is there or when ur baby is sound asleep...
Bcos we will not hear the soft cry of our baby..

Cook everything when ur hubby is there, i used to make curry and rice freshly bfr eating but i keep the cut vegs in fridge well bfr.

Otherwise be near ur baby always.. watch wat ur bay does.

Mostly babies cry when hungry or in pain esp stomach pain and while taking bath as far as i know.
These cud be handled by us.

Hunger - u can feed
stomach pain - u need to acoid taking toor dhal, coconut and any gas producing foods if u breast feed.
Bath - be careful while washing face, esp nose and ears. my mom has told me to put cotton in ear to avoid direct flow of water.

MOST OF ALL PLAN UR WORK, i u need to work a particular work that time, finish it and avoid unimportant work like attending phone calls and other stuffs. U can do that later anytime..

If u need any help,. dont hesitate to ask me, i can help u with watever i know, anyways thr are lots of seniors here who can help
Dont worry, u can take care of ur baby with confidence.

Take care
San

 

Hi Pavithra, Oh dear! Wishing your mom a speedy recovery. Do assure her that you'll be alright with the baby... that must be running in her mind foremost now. I came back from India when my son had completed 3 months but even then my mom was sooo worried You already have good tips from 2 of our friends in IL. I'll just add whatever I can think of. First and foremost don't bother much if your home is in a mess (i'm like that). Right now your priority is your health and your baby. Parenting is a learning process at every stage of your child... i remember that i was very much worried about each n everything even though my baby was 3 months old. Don't venture into shopping until you're confident to, by yourself... push it to week-ends. This is where making lists play a big role. As Sanravi says finish your shower when your hubby is there. Most times I used to have my shower in the evenings... it's fine in this weather. And don't bother much about giving a bath to your little one everyday. In this weather they don't need it. I don't know if you have a bath tub at your home. But get a small tub for your baby and there are special bathing seats available for newborns. They sit there with head raised so you can wash the body without any fear. I never bathed my boy indian style Keep his diapers, wipes etc., one set each in living room and bedroom so you don't have to panic when he cries. Always keep your undergarments and a set of dress in the bathroom itself so your changing time is also reduced. I have heard scandinavian countries are very parent-friendly... ask your husband to make good use of it Bow I don't know how expensive it is... but if possible get a cleaning lady atleast once a week for couple of hours. I have one right now.. she cleans the bathroom, irons my husband's clothes and believe me i'm so relieved. She comes on wednesdays so i do a repeat clean on week-ends with my husband's help. As for cooking goes, pressure cook dhal (take moong dhal for couple of months more in koottu, sambar.. tuvar dal is believed to be gassy) and freeze. Get frozen indian veggies for emergencies. And sleep when your baby is sleeping as well. Nothing is more important than resting at this stage. House hold work is never ending. I used to put my boy in the baby carrier and do the cooking... he was close to my body and feeling good and i could also get my work done. These are my experiences. Very soon you'll also find your own way. Just remember to take a note of things that are unimportant and takes lots of your time and clear them out of your life for a while Latha

 

dear pavithra

hope ur mum recovers soon.....well u will gain confidence when u start looking after ur kid urself.....well as all the others have said its just planning ur stuff well.....do stuffas like thokku and vathal kuzhambu n keep it in the fridge in the weekends when ur hubby is arnd....dun over strain urself as if u fall sick then u cant take care of ur baby..try to get sum help thru a maid if possible.....try to do max wrk when the baby is sleeping.....and also do other wrk like cleaning when ur hubby is arnd..ofcoz the hubby's will have to help out for us to do wrk and am sure they will...

lov
sowmi

 

Dear Pavitra,
You get good maids in Delhi. But check well and get refrerrals before appointing any. Also the main thing that you need to do is before appointing a maid, check her cleanliness because you have a small child.

I hope you are in Delhi. When you are assigning her the jobs to be done, tell her it will be her who will be going to the market to get the vegetables, clean and cut them for you. Take her help in this and you could keep the next day's vegetables ready.

If you are not for a maid, ask your DH to pick up the veggies for you and you cut it the previous night. Finish your cooking early in the morning and store everything in hotpacks. This way you could also eat quite warm atleast. When your mom is around, take help from her in making, Vatha Kuzhambu, Milagu Kuzhambu, Pulikaichal, Paruppu Podi, Kariveppilai Podi etc etc. This will reduce your daily cooking. You could just make rice, rasam and a sabji.

 

Hey,
Dont worry.. you will see that you are a pretty good and efficient mom once you give yourself a chance. My mom had to leave after my baby was 2 months old and in some ways I became a more confident mom in the process. Friends who have had kids before me say that I behave like an experienced mom since I started doing a lot of things for my kid early on.
1) Since your kid is only 3 weeks and you must be dead tired just plan on sleeping and waking up with the baby thro the day.
2) Do not bother much about cooking either buy in food, ask some friends to hand over one large dish and deep freeze or cook in bulk and freeze. Example : By roties from the indian store and make lots of dhal for the week and quick sukha sabji from frozen veggies. Eat lot of carbs for the first 6 weeks ( rice/rotis) to keep your energy up. Drink water if breastfeeding. Eat cereal for breakfast. By bread and buy hummus to make a quick sandwitch. Eat well.
3) If BF get used to pumping a bottle just when you wake up ( you will have lots of milk). Then either freeze it or keep it in the fridge. Ask DH to take one night session with the baby and give a bottle. If you dont want to pump get baby used to one formula feed in the night. That way you get one strtch of sleep.
4) Get the baby used to bottle!! Very important. When you are with the baby 24/7 it can be very demanding. You will need a break. Dont feel guilty. If DH comes back from work at a reasonable time go out for a walk for 30 min or take a nice bath or whateevr you want to do.
5) After 6 weeks once Dr sign you off and you can drive take baby and go to the mall in the afternoon. Babies are really portable in when they are < 5 months old. They sleep easily in the car seat. Many malls have nursing rooms.
6) Regarding Bath time I bought the Primo Euro Bath tub. Fill the baby bath tub with luke warm water upto 4 inches. Get all clothes ready, and maybe play some music. Slowly put baby in the water with one hand always under the baby neck. All the soap, towel MUST be within arms reach of you. I keep a small bucket of clean water with a mug in the side as well. ( BTW all this is done on the bath room countertop standing so it is easy for you) . Splash some water on baby, rub soap on body, use a washcloth dipped in water to wipe face and rub body. Lift baby and turn on stomach again keeping one hand under baby chest and put soap on back. In the end wash hai ( if needed ) with washcloth. Slowly lift baby with both arms and wrap in hooded towel.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

Very useful information....