what bothers me , OP just posts a thread and there will be 2 to 3 page discussion with all ILs who wish well. there will not be response from OP. Again after 4 weeks there is a similar thread. It is clear OP is ruminating heavily, unfortunately this is a serious depression from abuse. OP is not ready for any legal processing. i have seen such with a very close relative. and return to positive also. from a obsessive's over thinking person to complete 180 change in confident in 6 months and she took major life decision. emotional talks will make feel good at that moment. but without professional help and medication, it does not last long She needs therapy and definitely medication.