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Hell hath no fury like what?

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Feb 15, 2008.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    This happened a few days after my marriage. It was around <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:time Minute="0" Hour="0">midnight</st1:time>. No, no. This is not my Valentine musings. Far from it. Actually, in the words of Javed Jafri talking about Maggi ketchup, ‘It’s different!’

    I had just closed my eyes in deep slumber when I suddenly heard a blood-curdling scream with all the lights on. I rushed out of the bedroom and there saw my wife in a murderous rage with bloodshot eyes. She was armed with a broomstick but for which she would have borne a striking resemblance to Mahishasura Mardhini! For a second, my blood froze beholding this unusual avatar of my wife. Frankly I had no guts to go near her to ascertain the cause for this destructive pose of hers. She stared at me with unseeing eyes and pointed her finger to a corner of the room. There I saw a fully grown cockroach poised for a flight across the room. As I was watching the nasty creature, she pounced on it like the feminine version of Attilla, the Hun, and destroyed it in one stroke and went on hitting it even after it attaind Sivaloka Prapthi!

    I am not ashamed to admit that I am not particularly fond of cockroaches either though I have a healthy respect for them. I have heard some incredible things about them like they have existed on our planet without any change for over 300 million years while humans came to inhabit it some 298 million years later! I believe that it can even survive a nuclear war along with its buddy, the fruit fly! I had come across even a transcript of a conversation between two cockroaches which runs like this:

    I do not see why men should be so proud
    When insects have a more ancient lineage
    Insects were insects
    When man only a bubbling whatsit!

    I do not think that cockroaches are unduly worried about this murderous feeling of hostility that women feel towards them. They have survived greater hostilities for 300 million years compared to which a woman wielding a broomstick is just a fleabite for them. They probably even feel that the hands that feed them (with all the kitchen dirt) have the right to kill them too and they are only too aware that they never face any threat of extinction in the hands of women!

    I believe that the technical jargon for the fear of cockroaches is ‘Blattodephobia’ but I wonder if it could be called a phobia at all in the first place. If you come across a woman, encountering a cockroach, armed with the most lethal weapons, she resembles more a zulu warrior than someone in fright! The kind of war cry that precedes the actual massacre of the insect can never emanate from a frightened person. A person frightened of a snake, for example, would rather have someone else carry out the execution of the reptile while watching it from a safe distance. Looking at my wife in action against a cockroach, I would rephrase the famous quote ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ as ‘Hell hath no fury as a woman encountering a cockroach’!

    What puzzles me most is that my wife reuses to accept any viable alternative to killing a cockroach. Once when I suggested to her that if she turned the creature over on its back, it would lie immobilized for hours and the maid would dispose it off in the morning, she let me share her murderous look reserved only for the cockroach! But the most awesome scene is enacted only when a flying cockroach is sighted. When a cockroach takes wings, the battle scene will beat what we have seen in the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon!

    It is generally said that a woman is an enigma but her animosity towards a cockroach makes her even more enigmatic!


     
    sindmani, swathi27, kelly1966 and 3 others like this.
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  2. aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Sri,
    Haaa haaa.. a funny write up.Count me in...I scream whenever i see a cockroach..I even refused to eat dates, since it resembled cockroaches...RantJust one difference is that, i dont take charge to kill them, as im scared even to do that..i dutifully hand over the responsibility of sending it to heaven to my DH..Poor him.. i know...
     
  3. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Aishu
    You are too scared even to kill them? I must say that my respect for cockroaches has increased now! And your DH. Really poor him ! I am happy to be the DH of a woman who can look the cockroaches squarely in the face, after they are dead of course!
    Sri
     
  4. Lalitha Shivaguru

    Lalitha Shivaguru Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Cheeniya sir,

    A hilarious write up indeed.Big LaughBig Laugh

    Before my marriage I was like aishu but now atleast I have to be brave infront of my dds. Both are equally frightened of cockroaches. When cockroaches are sighted, my dds are in a flight to another planet. Hence I have to atleast act infront of them that their mother is quite strong & unafraid, but inside thousand butterflies will be flying.:shaking:
    I am accepting this here because both my dds are not in this forum to see this fb.:shhh:
     
  5. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Lalitha
    That is the most candid confession that I have seen in recent times. Have you noticed one thing about the anti-cockroach ads in TV? They always show only women as being up in arms against the loathsome creatures! They look as triumphant as Poolan Devi with a can of Hit in their hands. I am sure they too have butterflies in their stomach but they effectively conceal it!
    Sri
     
  6. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri,
    Humour after some serious "stuff" is like a breeze !!
    Wel, the scene happening in our house is dfferent. Like Aishu's house, it is Vish's job to "finish" off the creature. If I see a cockroach, - now don't laugh or tease - I leave Vish & the creature inside the room & come out & lock the room from outside.:hide
    Unless he gives me a call & an assurance that the "murder" is over, I will not open the door.RantRant
    First he used to used to ask me if I thought he could use his hands to get hold of the creature. So, there is an "old chappal" in our bedroom, solely kept reserved for the purpose.By practice, he is trained to "rise up" to the occasion !!
    This was one point on which, he could not argue or convince me , because I used to get scared, scream & create a "racket".Since he is a peace-lover, as you know, at any cost, he took upon himself, this responsibility.
    I wonder, how you would have reacted, given Vish's predicament??
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  7. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chithra
    Given Vish's predicament, I would have chosen to make peace with the cockroach. A cockroach, all said and done, will never give a peace of its mind however angry! But I am surprised that you are still following a very primitive method for silencing a cockroach. It is only because there is no one to argue their case to be put to sleep with dignity. While cockroach-right activists even argue about the need to hand over a cockroach capital punishment just because humans dont like its face, it is surprising that no one is coming against such violent methods being used to put them to sleep.
    From what you say of Vish, I see a bit of Jekyll and Hyde in him!
    Sri
     
  8. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri,
    You make me feel guilty by writing

    From what you say of Vish, I see a bit of Jekyll and Hyde in him!

    He is "satva" personified, you know. But should not a man bother to pacify his scared wife? You write as if, I indirectly invoke the "-----" in every man, rather human being.
    No, Sri, no big act for a man - just a "harsh bang" with the chappal & it is instant Shivaloka prapthi for the creature. So quick the relief is & no suffering ! Try it once - Ms Sri will follow that method instead of searching for a broom !:crazy
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chithra
    It is generous of you to admit openly that something that scares women to the core is 'no big act' for a man! I am also surprised that a Vedanthi provokes her man to commit such acts and I am even more surprised by the demonic delight that you seem to derive from it! "Just a harsh bang with the chappal"! And further, you seem to imply that it is an act of deliverence!
    Sri
     
  10. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri,
    You literally provoked me to retort back !:crazy
    Now, you imply that I am a Jekyll and Hide type by writing vedanthi....blah, blah !
    No, my dear Sri, the scare is so much ! :spin
    Please understand!!
    Love,
    Chithra.
     

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