Health and Marriage

I know my friend, what you say. It is something on my mind every now and then, that when will I see the end of the tunnel..... These few months especially have taken tremendous toll on me and my overall well being. Just yesterday I went to watch this movie called Rajneeti, prior to that movie there was a commerical of another movie called" Turning 30" in that the character in focus was the woman who loses her job, as she has issues with her manager and she resigns and also her relationship breaks. Life seems to fall apart .. That made me think, that see my life is also falling apart one by one... Whether to feel happy that things are changing or sad that so much negative is going around I dont know. But at the end of the day I know rotten things in life have to go one way or other

I too want to be stress relieved, no stress of job or earning for some time . just concentrate on life for a month or two.....

 

CP, I understand, you have a balance though, a bad supervisor but good manager. I understand that what you go through dealing with such bad person. And since you dont have EAD more tough I know. In my case there were lot of changes happening at work place, almost 180 degrees from few months. This manager was someone who was promoted within the company as he was 10 years (of course this was some years back).

Prior to becoming manager he was sitting like a person holed in a place all the time. And all of a sudden he got this power, he has not worked anywhere else in his career much except this company.

I have noticed people like these who get promoted they seldomly make others happy around them. He talks loudly, very blatantly, even in front of others he will not see how he is sounding esp to Indians, he himself is Indian, but when he talks to non Indian he is ok.. Even a business user last year pointed this out , I was surprised, when the user called me and said it looks he is scared of non Indian even though they work under him but with you guys he is just not good.

There is another colleague of mine he said that the manager picks him and me at times. Never appreciates, always be critical.

He had one on one with me so many times, I never lost my cool or temper , nor I argued with him, I said I understand I will work on my issues.

But yesterday it irked me when he said if you are not happy why dont you leave. I had left office at 5 pm and being Friday everyone leaves, and 5 pm is not early as per US standards, he took that as opportunity and pointed me. And he was blaming our director that she pointed that out. I understood he is lieing to me. I said to him dont tell me that I can resign that is my right and I know I can do it anytime, no one is stopping you from removing me either...if you are not happy. And then I walked out of his office saying it is of no use talking...and resigned and I told him be happy

I have never dealt with so much humiliation at work in IT as here. And that also after so much experience. We all have flaws, yes some aspects of life has caused some bad impression at work , and some habits like not being able to play politics, being straight forward etc.. has not helped me..But I told him if I do my work then what is your problem. And why you pick on me...

Anyway that is over now...I was initially worried that I am going to India I dont have a job yet and I will resign from India if I find one, but then I decided its ok even if I resign, I will go with free mind, I will take some time off and no worries that I have to get back to US job in one month time...And worst case scenario if I have to travel back to US, I have EAD and Travel permit and I am also keeping my options open here if need be.
Lets see how it goes.

 

Srividya, each and every word of yours makes sense, yes you are right that I have to solve my mess in India , and moreover I was in process of relocation, just that the decision to resign could have been delayed for a month or two. You are absolutely right about stress too.

I did not feel you are rude anywhere on this post, thanks for your advice or suggestions...

 

Gosh, happened to call a college as my daughter will join in India from this year and no one being there to help me it looks a challenge.

I called this person, and requested him please help me, he said the SSC results are out on 10th june, once results are out, then the colleges will issue forms through central processing and that needs to be filled. I said I have no idea how a person going from abroad who has foreign credentials will go about admission In Indian colleges. Lucikly he gave me his mobile number and took my number too and said as soon as results are out he will contact me and also help me. I just hope this works out. So I was relieved that at least job stress is now over and I can concentrate now on daughters admission in India...if I would wait to go to India then I might have been late to enquire. Good that I called today and got hold of someone.at least for now.. Sigh.!!!

 

Thank you Sarajara, I have seen in my friends life too where their wives are working how difference crop up related to money as well and then the divide increases. A time comes when both live as if they are independent people, your money, my money type of. ..The reason is if husband or wife use arrogance with their earning capability, the situation worsens

 

Bhuv in myself I never felt I did anything great by adopting ,but yes when someone like you say it feels validated... At times I feel great in myself that at young age I took so much responsibility, I supported everyone ..How many will walk into a marriage of their own with responsibility of a sibling's child. Not many, I dont think there are many out there.. I have heard from a friend she just wanted her brother her real brother to execute a will that if something happens to her he will take care of her son who is young enough.. Her brother did not even reply her forget about signing the will....