Have anyone of you gone through this?

Hi,

To begin with, I have been married and as most of you had posted it has been a substantially rough patch with ILs. About them, FIL is a very nice person but is dumb and very afraid of MIL. MIL is authoritative and tries to interfere and control everything, especially in the matters of finance. She doesn't want to even move a glass at home but has all the energy to travel allover the world. She always complains of lack of money (she is still working) but has loads of investments, gold etc. DH is the elder one and has a younger brother and he's married and has a kid. My relationship with my co-sis is ok and she has her share of grievances. She has never done anything for my DS- not even bathed him once even when he was an infant. She insults my parents by not even welcoming them when they enter home to see me. During my pregnancy, there wasn't a single day when I had not shed tears. DH will support me most of the times but sometimes will ask me to adjust and support them. DH is very attached to FIL and BIL, though he knows that what she does is wrong.

She used to purposely insult me by praising co-sis in her initial days of marriage. Also she bought and did a ffew things for her purposely to hurt me. I brushed them away since I knew that she was not doing it out of affection for co-sis. My co-sis faced similar problems after we moved abroad. BIL is not yet settled in life and doesn't have a good job. We spent so much for IL's visit here (she bought gifts for every relative including her colleagues and DH paid for everything.) She wanted to visit every single road here and had all the energy to roam around. For my DS's first b'day she never got anything- only a dress for him. But now for my BIL's child she has got a gold chain. I'm not at all able to digest this because, we spend so much for them, but this partiality drives me nuts. I brushed aside whatever she did to me but I feel what she's done to my child is sheer betrayal. She acts very well saying that my DS is her first grandson and misses him so much. They why the hell did she not but anything for him? I get furious at the very thought of this and want to retaliate but I'm just controlling myself. Now she wants to visit us again and the very thought of meeting her is getting on my nerves. I don't know how to react in this situation. Help me with your thoughts please!! I'm losing my peace of mind, motivation, happiness and spending sleepless nights due to this.

 

Nirash,

Thanks for the reply. I politely asked her, "Mummy, U left DS for his B'day", She replied, "I just thought u'd ask me- Ur father said he's buying something so i did not buy.." I just did not want to create an issue then beacuse BIL's son's bday was on the next day and the poor child did no harm. That's the reason I've developed such a hatred towards her for being so mean.

 

Thanks Sujivsp.

Since DH loved FIL and BIL so much, he says that u should not value the blessings of elders in terms of money. He asks me to treat the dress and gold chain equally. We had a week long argument and he still fails to accept that what was done to his son is injustice. I don really know how to make him understand!!

 

Girls!! Please help me with your thoughts. I need motivation!!