Harmless Flirting Vs Harassment..

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Jan 24, 2023.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I took off from work today…

    I have an headache…

    Last Friday I was at work my two of my office
    Colleagues..both men as we were in rotation basis..

    They were complimenting me way too much and I was touched (casually in the shoulder and pulled a little bit in the elbow to take pics)

    One of the guys always sits close to me with his chair pulled near me and talks to me like he is in love with me..in way of complimenting etc..

    he texts me everyday and says he misses me and when I will be back to work..don’t know if he is being funny..

    he keeps saying he is very loud and talkative and also not to mistake him and the other American ladies say he is a good person..

    He also keeps saying he loves his wife and she is a wonderful woman..

    I am very soft spoken and on and off they take selfies with me just like that and I hate myself for not saying NO.

    The other American ladies are cool with it..

    I come from a conservative background and don’t know if it is harmless flirting or harassment..

    I told my friend about it and she laughed it off saying “Enjoy this..it will make u feel young at heart”..

    Another friend said that this is common in workplace…Men are like that only..

    The guy showed me the pics of the girls who worked Previously one of them Indian and she was hugging like a friend and too many close pics (like a friend I guess)well I can’t be like that!!

    I am confused at what to do..am I imagining things or does this seem not right…am not able to diss this off as completely normal also..
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Where do you work that you are meeting all these weirdos?
    This is not normal or acceptable. You should not have to tolerate any behavior that makes you uncomfortable. If you don’t need the money for your livelihood then I would strongly suggest that you rethink these kinds of workplaces.
     
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Malstrom…this is the same place I have been working for the past few months..I posted a thread about this sometime back.Same
    Place only.. somewhat disturbed today so I took the day off..

    when my friends are telling me to Take things lightly and brush it off as this is very common these days..I someone couldn’t digest it..

    I am working after many years and don’t know if the world has changed..how come people are taking it lightly…am
    I overreacting..I am so confused today
     
  4. Swetha52003

    Swetha52003 Silver IL'ite

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    I have the same question above, where do you work? I only heard these kinds of incidents in college or high school, not in a professional setting. You mentioned your friend told you that this is common in work place. As far as my knowledge and experience goes, no this is not common.
     
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  5. RRAJ

    RRAJ Gold IL'ite

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    This is not normal in the workplace. Anyone touching or flirting or taking selfies with colleagues is not acceptable and it's not funny either. Better to quit that place. I have never heard of or seen this anywhere here.
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I work in a small office not in an IT firm where they have HR and rules.

    my friend is in India and works in a bank environment and she says she has experienced this too..
     
  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    This guy casually touched elbow and took selfies..and asked others to take pics.

    He also takes pics with other ladies too. He Infact hugs them but they are American older woman in late sixties so maybe motherly I don’t know..
     
  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Touching someone in my workplace will get you an immediate dismissal if the person files a complaint, no matter whether the other party was joking or not.
    If you are in a small company with no HR and this guy has been getting away with this behavior then the situation is not going to improve for you. If I understand correctly you have been working for quite a while now. Try to use this experience to apply to a bigger company or for a fully remote job.
     
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  9. RRAJ

    RRAJ Gold IL'ite

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    Here, whether it's a small office or a bigger one doesn't matter, it's a serious issue here. Don't encourage those.
     
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  10. RRAJ

    RRAJ Gold IL'ite

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    Exactly, same in my place too, will be fired immediately if it goes to HR.
     
    anika987 likes this.

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