Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Families

ManuuRaghuu · Sep 10, 2008

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

Dear Muzna,

Thanks again for your response.
I can very well understand your sigh bonk...even i undergo the same experience sometimes...Who knows in future you may surprise everyone around you by your "own money"...i just wanted to highlight what i learnt and felt about monetary things after marriage....nothing else dear!

Hope all your wishes and dreams come true...:thumbsup

Best Wishes,
ManuuRaghuu

muzna said: ↑

dear ManuuRaghuu
u r right but it is that my 'my money' thing was in general esp when people around u c in diff way tell that u do not earn , or take a dig at u...
nothing to do with the my money inside the family.only the feeling inside of me that kaaaaaaaaaaaaash i would also earn and the money could be used to fulfill certain wishes. but that is just a sigh!
one can try but when writing it is so very imp to be able to express the exact thought, :hide: but not possible always, and i would never have realised the meaning which my words connoted had u not brought it to my notice,
thank u so much
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ManuuRaghuu · Sep 10, 2008

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

Dear GPriya,

Am very delighted to receive inputs from members like you...Thanks a lot for visiting my thread and taking time to respond and giving your inputs.I totally agree with you on points like husband's responsibility and support in his wive's decision of staying at home if she wants to.

Yes in today's world where once considered a luxury is becoming an essential ...there is a need for both wife and husband to work for fulfilling their needs apart from satisfying their career ambitions and there is only a fraction of single income families who do well with only one living(men's) even in the countries like the US...and I wonder what can be limit!

Regards,
ManuuRaghuu

GPriya said: ↑

Hi Mannu,

Being a homemaker is the best option if you have kids, so that kids can have a proper foundation in life. But at the same time, to achieve that peacefully, one should have a sensible, responsible husband, who treats the wife with respect and truly appreciates her sacrifice for bringing up the family and also saves money for the kids and the family's future. If the above is not done by the husband and if he keeps on sending all the money that he makes to his parents/siblings without any care for his own wife and kids, then there is no choice for the wife but to take up a job to support her, kids and future.

To conclude the long story short, though MONEY is not everything, MONEY plays a major roll in deciding the fate of the women, in every stage of her life. To add further, nowadays, if a woman doesn't work, she hardly gets any marriage proposals. If she wants to give up her job after the kids are born, husband isn't too thrilled. I found only miniscule of the husbands are ok with the option of educated women to be homemaker.

I agree with Oaktree's comments wholeheartedly, especially when a woman works after marriage, she will have less time to think about all her troubles at home, be it inlaw trouble, money trouble or anyother. Depression can never touch employed women as she is mentally occupied with variety of things.

Finally, though happiness is a state of mind, financial independence is more important for women in any age to live in peace and thats my 2 cents worth.

Good topic to open up,
GPriya
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ManuuRaghuu · Sep 18, 2008

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

Dear Varloo,

Sorry for the late reply.Thanks a lot for visiting my thread and for sharing your life experience...I sincerely wish that all your dreams are fulfilled..you deserve it...

Enjoy your time...:thumbsup

Regards,
ManuuRaghuu

Varloo said: ↑

Nice topic! I was working even after my son was born but now a full time home maker. Here is my experience.
I have wanted to work from the timeI can remember. I got a job in Railways, in the essential services department (worked in ricket counters). Shift wa not a problem then, had more time for my hobbies etc. But once I got married, in laws started pestering me to resign. But as I got a 9-5 posting, they let me work. But it was a great problem, I am not entitled for holidays as mine was an essential services department. So while I took leave, it was a problem for the office and if not at home. I suffered a lot during the 4 years I worked. My family did not understand that I had to be regular and punctual to office. They expected me to be home whenever they wanted, whatever be the situation at the office.
After 4 years, my son was born. Due to premature birth, he had lots of problems and I was on leave for nearly 2 years. Then got a small girl to take care of him and worked again. But trouble because of in laws, they will ACCUSE me of going to office, just imagine. I was pulling along in the belief that all that will change.
But when my son was 4 years old, he developed epilapsy due to nuero problem and I had to take a decision. I opted to be a home maker to take care of him. That was a best decision because he needed medical attention continuoously for many years from that time. I could take good care of him as a stay at home mom. Now I am happy that he is doing well and I have done my best to him.
Earning money does not earn dignity and respect for all ladies. My husband and his people never respected me though I was earning. I have helped him monetarity to pay off the loan which he took from his uncle for buying the house. But he still does not accept that I have done that. My sister is working and her husband is jobless for the last 10 years. But he does not even give her a tiny credit, he takes all her salary and buys a recharge card for her phone for a paltry amount. She has to ask him for her expenses. He restricts her spending money for her siblings, while he spends her money for anything he wants. She is keeping mum inthe fear that he may leave her at this age (she is 56 and he is 60) and she may lose face in society.
I have not given my vote, have I? I feel that every woman should work and earn, to gain more exposure. It is best to spend time with children till they are around 5, then let them learn to adjust to life. They will become more independent and knowledgeable if they have to tend to themselves.
In India, it is difficult to get jobs after certain age. I too would like to work at least part time now. But hubby is so dependent on me that he will not let me work.
I will say that I do enjoy being a home maker. There is enough time for myself this way.
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ManuuRaghuu · Sep 18, 2008

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

Dear Shvap_786,

Sorry for the late reply.Thanks for visiting my thread and for sharing your views.After reading to so many women i feel that happiness is a relative term and entirely depends on a women and her family as how she wants to lead her life.

I truly appreciate your decision of staying back at home for taking care of your family and wish you good luck and happiness.

Regards,:thumbsup
ManuuRaghuu

shvap_786 said: ↑

Hi manu...

As others tell both has both -ve and +ve issues... its always depends on how u take it... according to me..i awalys wanted to tk care of my family being at home... till i get married i was working... even after wedding.... but change of place immed i cud'nt cont... i conceived also...

so i allways prefferd to tk care of my kid and hubby being at home... just dont feel feel like leaving the kid with the maid or baby sitter... a kind of happiness which cant be replaced with anything else ....
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Pavarun · Sep 18, 2008

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

Hi all, I am probably one of the exceptions here - I am a working woman with a 3 year old and I am expecting my 2nd one in 5 months. I am genuinely happy with my situation. Of course some of my days are better than others (don't we all have bad hair days?), but I don't feel my son is seriously dis-attached or anything like that by going to day care. In fact, I feel that I am a better mom when I am able to spend time with him because I am happier this way. Of course when the second one is born it may be a little difficult, but we usually ease into a schedule/rhythm in a while.

I sometimes would like to spend more time on cooking, festivals etc, but I would infinitely prefer a busy, packed day to a slow day - maybe that is just me

Count me as voting for #1!

ManuuRaghuu · Sep 23, 2008

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

pavarun said: ↑

Hi all, I am probably one of the exceptions here - I am a working woman with a 3 year old and I am expecting my 2nd one in 5 months. I am genuinely happy with my situation. Of course some of my days are better than others (don't we all have bad hair days?), but I don't feel my son is seriously dis-attached or anything like that by going to day care. In fact, I feel that I am a better mom when I am able to spend time with him because I am happier this way. Of course when the second one is born it may be a little difficult, but we usually ease into a schedule/rhythm in a while.

I sometimes would like to spend more time on cooking, festivals etc, but I would infinitely prefer a busy, packed day to a slow day - maybe that is just me

Count me as voting for #1!
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Hi Pavarun,

Thanks for visiting the thread and also for voting..,infact i couldnt post the poll...Good to know that you are leading a happy & contended life as a mom and also as a working woman.I sincerely wish you happiness and good luck in your life.Also wishing you a happy & safe pregnancy in advance...:wave

Regards,
ManuuRaghuu

hemlatan · Jul 27, 2009

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

I am a working mother from Mumbai.
I stay with my husband and kid only, my in-laws and my parents are not staying near by me.
Hence I have to take care of my home as well as my job. and its too tedious.
Everyday i get very tired. On weekends I clean my home, arrange cupboards and all. So for me working after having a kid is very tiring and frustrating.
Actually I cannot give my 100% to my job neither to my home, it makes me very frustrated. I cannot accept promotions as it needs long working hours which I cannot afford as I m in software[IT], so you can imagine.
I keep my kid in creche which worries me sometimes as noone can look after your kid better than yourself, but i dont have any choice.

So I strongly feel, woman who are in situation like me are better to be at home as home maker if possible. Their kid and husband will be very happy.

manjuCB · Aug 30, 2009

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

Hi Friends,

This is such an interesting poll. I am currently a full time homemaker and i am very happy to be one. I have two kids and i hav a wonderful time doing things together with them and waiting on them. It sounds kinda sentimental but its true that being a mother has made me understand why mothers always wait for us to return home from school, why they fuss over food and all. My kids want me to be at home, they dont want me to go back to work.

But then, every once in a while i wonder if its the right thing to do. Especially in this economy, i wonder if its better to hav both spouses working to ensure a financially sound future for kids. Any opinions anyone??I really would like to hear the experiences of working women. Please feel free to discuss about the pros and cons of your decisioin. And thanx for starting an interesting and much needed topic manuu.

susri · Aug 30, 2009

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

Dear friends,
I am a homemaker. I am enjoying a lot for that. Before marriage I was working. But after marriage, I have decided not to go for a job . I would like to take care of my childrens, and my DH......... with my level best and to upbring my childrens......... to a very good level. I am happy with what my DH is earning......... living economically......... leading a happy life. :thumbsup

krsri79 · Sep 18, 2009

Re: Happiness Poll:Working women families India/USA Vs Non Contributing Wives Familie

Hi

The answer to the question which u have asked will differ from person to person.And as far as im concerned i would like to list out the following.

There are some advantages and disadvantages on both the sides. Some of the advantages and disadvantages of working women are 1) They can be independent , 2) If they want to help their family or if they want to spend something they can do it by themselves, 3) They can lead a good life compared to non contributing women, 4)Sometimes even help their husbands during financial crisis.

On the other hand 1) They may not have time to spend together, 2) They may not be able to bring up their child by themselves and will need to depend on somebody(a creche or some caretaker whatever it may be), 3) they may not be in a position to spend time with their children etc

All the above said advantages of a working women are considered to be a disadvantage for a non contributing women and all the disadvantages of a working women can be considered as an advantage for non contributing women.