Handling first one after second baby...

Challenge · Apr 3, 2013

Hi friends,
20 days back I delivered my 2nd daughter, since then my 5 yr old
Has been so excited that all the time she wants to touch hug and kiss baby.
We had thought she might feel jealous or throw tantrums , however we were surprised that our elder one is just in love with the baby. But now her over excitement has become a cause of concern as we all the time have to
Keep watch over her for baby's safety. At times her hugging n cuddling becomes harsh which makes baby cry and us upset over her. She wants baby in her bed only but due to safety is we keep baby in cradle in midnight, the elder one wakes up and start crying over that, which wakes baby as well . Even after explaining her lovingly we don't see any effect , as a result has lead shouting n spanking her , me n dh feel bad but lose control in frustration and anger . Also we have noticed that she has become naughtier than before and all the time wants to seek our attention. As of now her behaviour has nt extended being jealous, but we are afraid that might start soon . Has any one come across such situation , can we have tips please ....having sleepless nights due to first one ...

GodIsOne · Apr 3, 2013

Re: Handling first one after second baby

It is a big change to her. I understand your frustration but then spanking her is not a wise decision. This will only make her more naughtier. Kids are smarter than we think they are. Make her sit down and ask her to put a list of things she would like to do with the baby. Warn her that you might change few things considering the safety of both. You can let her fill in the bucket before giving the LO a bath. She can be the one who brings all the stuffs for a diaper change. Small things like this will make her feel important. This is a tested and tried method. It worked for my cousin. Hope this works for you.

Dinny · Apr 3, 2013

Ohh pls dont shout and spank her...shes just 5yrs old.
If you continue like this then definitely the kid will turn jealous of the baby soon.getting naughtier and seeking attention is just a symptom of that.
Though i dont blame you completely because sleepless nights and the handling two kids simultaneously is not an easy task.
What i suggest is tell your daughter how it is that her hugs can actaully hurt the baby .....i am sure she will agree that she doesnt want to hurt the baby...and make her feel more important.That way she wont develop any jealousy and also understand things better.

Challenge · Apr 4, 2013

Thank you for your suggestion friends , trying my best to handle this sensitively. And yes trying consciously avoiding spanking or shouting...
Today my darling lifted baby from cradle and I was breathless speechless for a minute.. Some how controlled my anger and tried to explain her... But unfortunately reaction from other family members already made her cry... Anyways experiencing being mother of two is so challenging guess this is just a trailor....