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Handling Baby And Home

Discussion in 'Infants' started by divyarnair, Aug 19, 2017.

  1. divyarnair

    divyarnair Silver IL'ite

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    Hi ,
    I am a c-section mom of 7 week old.Very soon I will be moving from India to US and there will be no help other than spouse. Currently I am staying with my parents and they help me by taking care of home and I look after most of the baby stuff . I still don't find time to take care of cleaning or cooking at home as baby is clingy .My husband is pushing me saying that if I don't start doing stuff I will not be able to manage in US . My question is how long did it take for you ladies to feel confident enough to take care of baby,yourself and home with husbands help ? I just need some inspiration because I feel like a incapable woman when my husband tell me like this .
     
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  2. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    People I know have been back at work when the baby was 8 weeks and managed everything . It is not easy but requires a spouse that is willing to pitch in. Please let the husband know that he will have to help out as well. Unlike in India , there is no family support here and men do have to help out even with cooking and cleaning . Set the rules right now, so both you and husband are not in for a shock because of different expectations .
    Make up a schedule and stick to it. You can cook one good meal a day early in the morning and be done with it. Or you can cook over the weekend when husband has more time to take care of the baby. You can use pre cut frozen vegetables , a big help when there is no time . Depending on where you live, you might find someone that sells homemade rotis, buy them for a week or month and freeze . For cleaning you can spend some time either over the weekend or have a cleaning lady 1-2 times a month.
    Make sure you have time to bond with the child and helpful husband as a family and also go out to parks etc . It is also important to have a good support system in the form of friends here , so try to socialize once in a while.
    Good luck !
     
    Bubbles and Rihana like this.
  3. LisnaFernandez

    LisnaFernandez Junior IL'ite

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    During first few months after delivery, this is natural. It is not possible to manage everything alone by the mother. You don't have to worry on this. An assistant is essential during the first few months. If you are moving to US, it is better to migrate while the kid reaches age 1. So that you can manage everything by yourself.
     
  4. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 Finest Post Winner

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    This is completely doable. I know many couples manage right from day 1.I started taking care of things from 6th week. But being in India I got maid of cleaning vessels/sweeping/mopping etc. Check the possibility of outsourcing the cleaning/cooking part or ask your husband to pitch in.
     
    dimpleanand2002 likes this.
  5. deepthivinayak1

    deepthivinayak1 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I have to say,till you are in your parents house we will feel we have someone to take care of other things when we can concentrate on baby alone. Once u leave them,first few days you will feel you are left in a dessert. ( I felt when I left to USA from India) but once you are with ur husband and baby,automatically you will plan and do stuff accordingly. Till your lo starts to eat solid,you have time to manage your food n household chores. Once lo start eating, you have manage making food for her/him. It’s all about planning.
    You can prepare one gravy everyday evening when husband is home and you can ask him to handle baby. Have the gravy for idli/dosa,next day you can give same gravy for rice or chap pat hi. Morning you can manage with cereals, bread. For washing vessels, u will have dishwasher( I didn’t have when I came,but nowadays all apartment have). Weekends you can do laundry and cleaning home. So it won’t be difficult.
    I make meal plans every week.so it is easy for me to do grocery shopping and preparing food. Enjoy this moment with your parents. Till last day ,you enjoy the pampering and relaxation. Anyhow if you come Usa, you have mange by yourself,so why you should avoid the help you get now. Enjoy now and later think about managing.
     
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  6. dimpleanand2002

    dimpleanand2002 Junior IL'ite

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    Congratulations Divya for having a beautiful new life - a baby. Be thankful that not all women are as fortunate as you to have a baby.

    Be happy that you can play with your baby and your baby is with you.

    Bringing up babies is not an ordeal, it is a joy. What you are wondering is completely doable. I agree with blackbeauty84.

    This is my experience while bringing up two babies - barely 1.5 years difference in age, all on my own.

    I had to manage my first baby from the very first month of delivery, and I used to have excruciating pain in my joints. I used to work everything around with bandages on my hands and legs, and thankfully I had a cleaning help.

    I kept my life simple. Lunch and breakfast used to be packed for DH in the morning (when the baby was sleeping) and dinner I used to prepare with the baby around me (husband was a busy fellow, so couldn't ask his help), and throughout the day I used to do things on my pace.

    I had a beautiful colorful playpen and I used to take baby around with me while finishing my work. The rest of the time, it usually slept or played.

    By the time, baby number 2 arrived around one year, I learned to manage things on my own better.

    I think the best way to manage anything including babies is -

    1. Take very good care of yourself.
    2. Have nutritious food and exercise, as suggested by your doctor.
    3. Be thankful for your baby and everything; and never let others' opinions define you. Be gentle and nice but have the confidence to say NO, and be clear - What You Want!
    4. The house chores, work and everything around would be a routine as usual, but your baby would not be a baby always. This time will never come back. Enjoy the living toy, God has gifted you.
    5. Take lots of rest, sleep, naps, and no need to exert yourself.
    6. Before everything else your health, well being, and happiness should come first.
    7. If you set your priority right and follow a regular routine; you'll find yourself well settled with anything.

    If you want to work but getting apprehensive about how you would manage, you can check this info article, I hope it is useful to you.

    All the best. Never lose hope.

    You are not born as a parent; your baby will teach you how to be the best parent. Don't worry!

    Have faith.

    Love-
    Dimple
     
    Angela123 likes this.

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