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Handling attention seekers

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by coolsandy, Sep 21, 2014.

  1. coolsandy

    coolsandy Gold IL'ite

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    I have recently attended a friend's wedding anniversary. It was more of a gathering with her near relatives and a few close friends. It was all going on well and one of her friends, for whatever reason did something strange.

    Men were enjoying their drinks and my friend was busy attending the hosts. And she was with us, for sometime, while eating. Its like, all of us were having dinner together and were involved in some discussion. All of a sudden, her friend(we'll call her Reema), started singing aloud; we were for once, a little taken aback. Reema was not participating in the discussion, she was not drunk either. And the moment she started singing, she drew attention towards herself. Few other jovial women in the group, started asking her, whatz the matter? or you have a nice voice, we never knew it etc... and thatz it. The whole attention was drawn to her. And my friend was really upset because of this. Upset because, she spoiled the conversation that was going on, she strived hard to arrange things and food, in fact, some of the guests were praising her culinary skills, and then this happened. See, it was basically her party, her wedding anniversary and she, definitely, wanted to be the highlight of the party. Good or bad expectations??? No idea.

    Later my friend revealed that, Reema has always been like this. Reema is her family friend's wifey and my friend and Reema work in the same office. So, whenever they are having lunch together, Reema would do the same thing. As in, diverting the group's attention towards her, by hook or crook. And Reema is quite charming and very diplomatic. People would never know what kind of games she would be playing. My friend narrated a few incidents.

    Reema would say, "oh.. those jewellers are such cheaters...." and give a biiiiiiiiig expression. So, reflexively, opposite person would ask, "why, what did they do??" and then she would start saying, "my husband wanted to gift me a ruby set, and he gave me surprise gift....", and again the opposite person would ask "oh vow... how much did it cost you??" and yes.. that is how it goes. Reema would literally make the opposite person interested in her and lets them ask her questions voluntarily. And she wins the game, always.

    My friend was narrating to me so many incidents where she almost pulled people out of the present conversation and every one gets attracted to her, as if she were a magnet.

    I have personally seen people who get attention, automatically. That is their charisma, they really do not have to struggle about this.

    To be frank, I dint see anything wrong in Reema's actions. She is an attention seeker and she does it tactfully and with a knack. But my friend gets really upset, when she starts doing so. See, my friend is not jealous of her, but she wants a way to stop such Reema's acts when Reema is with her.

    Do you think my friend has a logic in asking such a thing? Is it really possible to keep such attention seekers at bay? How would you do it, if you were her?
     
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  2. persecutedDIL

    persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

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    This reply sums it all. Well, one point I would like to add is that your friend should drop Reema from her office circle or friend circle and find new like-minded friends.
    No point hanging around with an inveterate attention-seeker whom you don't like and then be sullen or keep criticizing that person.
     
  3. coolsandy

    coolsandy Gold IL'ite

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    Taste of their own medicine - sounds interesting. but, my friend is so calm going, I wonder if she can really do it. I think, I might need some pointers too.. in case I meet Reema... Gives me goosebumps at the very thought that she would hog all the limelight in my party. lol
     
  4. coolsandy

    coolsandy Gold IL'ite

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    naaaaaah.. she is not my friend...

    but the thing is... once such diversion is done, she won half the game. And the rest is my friend's friends become Reema's friends and sometimes those friends turn a little hostile too. :) God knows why but my friend senses that Reema could be bitching about her..

    Yes, dropping her from the circle would be different. She is part of family friends list. But I was wondering, with so mcuh PR tactics, don't people get sick of it, some or the other day? But I have not really seen any of Reema's friends getting hostile about her. May be this initial thing was more of a bait to increase her circle? And then be nice/sweet to them, get pleasure by bitching about common non-liking friends?

    From the incidents my friend has narrated to me, I could sense that she follows the same trick everytime. Does no one really get it? I am scratching my head.

    btw, don't we sometimes see SILs or MILs or any aunty doing such things? how are we going to deal with them? One of my mom's relative is also such a person and she is uber rich, wears modern jewellery, extravagant clothes and with the charisma that she has and the tactics that she uses, I feel she is Reema's poorva janam ka mommy. lol
     
  5. coolsandy

    coolsandy Gold IL'ite

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    surely. more the responses, more glad I am.
     
  6. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Instead of spoiling your mental peace, it's always better to ignore these kind of people. Ignorance is the best medicine :))
     
  7. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Come on yaar. Such attention seekers are everywhere. but I don't understand why your friend was upset about this woman, as everyone must have known by now that this woman is an attention seeker. So what? Does that under estimate your friend's party arrangement, dressing or culinary skills?
    Though Reema may have won the battle (by singing loudly and getting everyone's attention by doing that) at the end of the day it should be your friend, who won the war. Because everyone would remember this anniversary, the meals, and the event not what sang by Reema. So, ask your friend to relax and do what is needed to be done.
     
  8. coolsandy

    coolsandy Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you for your inputs. See, this particular attention seeker is a genius. She does everything so tactfully that no one would even realize it they were a bait. And she has that charisma. I have listed a few such incidents in my previous comments.

    And regarding the singing incident, yes, guests would remember both of them. Reema and my friend. But Reema has taken the priority. A few days later the incident, my friend met one of her guests and guess what, they were constantly praising Reema. Such is her charm. All my friend could do was to answer everything with a smile.

    And she is kind of a family friend, so, she cannot really avoid Reema.

    Also, the post is not only about the party hosted but about Reema's nature in general.
     

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