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Handling Advice From In Laws -unnecessary

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mirrorimage, May 28, 2022.

  1. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    oh my MIL is always advising -just to make herself feel superior...
    she advices every lil thing i do-- for example she will ask what chutney i made-- if I say roasted chana -- then she will say why that????why don't you make peanut chutney--(as if I committed a big crime making other one)

    she will keep advising llill things about the kids-- how to bring up blah blah blah--how well she brought my husband up..how she made him study--

    and anything you say/complain --will revert back on you(as if its my mistake that is why I am in this situation)....
    example:
    Me: kid is not drinkiing milk
    MIL: you dont add enough sugar thats why

    sometimes i just smile and say ok--but sometimes I think about it and ponder how to show her I can handle things by myself....--(IF you cant help me in raising kids its ok but atleast dont pester people with hell lot of advices...)

    these are the kind of people where there is no action but only advice...where they are not bothered by your struggles but stand in line to put you down for the same and feel good about it.......

    grrr...
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2022
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  2. nilainiya

    nilainiya New IL'ite

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    I'm not surprised to see person who deals with irritating mil..my mil behaves exactly the same..u should have done this , u should have done that blah blah..try not to lose ur temper eventually that will spoil ur peace of mind..
     
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Don’t invite trouble. Keep your conversations to a minimum. Why do you need to tell her that your child isn’t drinking milk, for example. Focus on something positive your kid did, instead. It will be harder for her to make a negative out of that. If you need parenting advice ask here or talk to people in your life who are supportive.
    As for other comments, just smile, nod, say you’ll do that the next time ahd carry on. Don’t engage in back and forths or justifications.
    I know it’s easier said than done as I have seen many women of my mom’s generation go through this, but you need to establish some strategies for maintaining your sanity.
     
    drdiva, mirrorimage and chanchitra like this.
  4. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    I am guessing you are not living with her.
    Stop talking to her for some time.
    She will get the point
     
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  5. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    Looks like you are providing your mil unnecessary information. Don’t give information which gives way to further validation. Just discuss general topic . Ask her recipes . Maybe she is just looking to add value to your life .
     
  6. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    In one ear and out the other. When she gives advice, smile and leave the room.

    Or, ask her to do something each time. "You make excellent peanut chutney. Will you make for us today?" If you keep this up, she'll know that there's a price for offering unsolicited advice.
    .
     

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