Guys dont reply to ladies personal thread

Sokanasanah,
You can't be serious about leaving? You are one of the best IL poster .The forum will be poorer without you .Please do reconsider.

 

What is disturbing is this new trend of lumping together of groups - dils, mils, husbands, women, men and taking a hard line on entire groups without treating individuals as individuals. The whole idea of forums on IL is to have a place to come seek solutions to problems, discuss issues and general topics. Are we here to run down entire sections of people?

As for OP's problems, it is a very cultural matter that women do not feel comfortable with men talking about what is seen (rightly or wrongly) as "womens' issues". It should not be very difficult for men to respect that wish and refrain from participating actively in such extremely personal threads.

As for unwelcome PMs, the recipient has the option of reporting such posts directly to admin/mods. Let them do so. However, to say that no male members can send friend requests or PMs is a bit extreme. We do not always interact with others purely on gender basis. On a human level we are open to being friends/interacting with other humans, male or female. However, we need to maintain a certain level of decorum when interacting with anyone and also to take common sense precautions about what we choose to discuss. If we feel someone is a stalker/predator, do make it a point to report it and to warn others, so they do not fall for their trap.

We have a number of male members here, elderly as well as young, who contribute very positively to various threads. I don't see why they should have to suffer due to the behaviour of the unsavoury kinds.

Soka, I can understand if you don't wish to participate further in this thread, but don't see any reason why you would want to quit the site altogether. Your contributions in other forums are very highly appreciated and so are they on this forum by many members.

 

Such ppl who seem to be guys should be removed from the site or blocked, have seen so many posts where these users ask for friendship etc.

 

why? it is obvious that the situation was escalating without any concrete efforts to draw the line, as it were. especially at the workplace. never a good idea. thankfully, everything got resolved!

where is the openness in using the site as a platform for scoring or trying to?

this is not a matter for debate and discussion- your own experience has shown you that certain things can quickly go beyond the realm of intellectual discussion and can have a personal effect. you have always received a lot of respect on this site, so it's very puzzling why you should feel the need to clarify your standing on this forum.

 

I think women always get emotional thats their biggest weakness which men capture on. I am new here but can see that just few nice words building up an emotional story and all the girls out here are requesting Soka not to leave. I can also see the emo part in everybody's post asking him not to leave.
Earlier I was part of a ladies group on the net and there even I never was comfortable discussing personal matters with guys bcos howmuch ever they are sensible, their outlook would be from a male's perspective.... and emo girls like us (I agree) most of the times end up getting more comfortable with such UNDERSTANDING and SUPPORTIVE men. those who in emo distress also start believing that there can be such nice men around then why our husbands or bf or dads be like them.
Dont have any bad feelings towards them, but I feel ladies matters should be handled by other ladies and better we do not get advise from men, we have enough at home for the advices.

 

Man, please reconsider.. Haven't interacted with u directly, but always read your posts....

 

Hi Sokanasanah,

I am impressed to see how member after member are requesting you, to reconsider your decision to leave IL, once for all.

That much meaningful and sensible must have been your posts.

Do you think, it is possible to please every one in this planet ? Even Almighty can not do it.

When so many members are requesting you to reconsider your decision, why don't you reconsider ? ( I started counting the female members, who have requested you to reconsider your decision to leave IL, one by one, now I lost the count, that much is the number)

At least five (female) members have raised doubts about the genuineness of the OP, herself, (see above).

In such a scenario, some posts by other members asking, Guys to leave etc, etc, (a few using very harsh offensive language also) must have offended you, though it is difficult for me to say, what has offended you so profoundly.

You have created such a big positive impact among majority of members,:thumbsup that this thread is becoming longer and longer just by the individual members' requests to reconsider your decision.

Having said so, I request you to have the understanding that the way one can not satisfy every one in our real life, it holds true, in virtual life also.

Criticisms and verbal bashings are bound to be there, once in a while from some members. Please develop tolerance towards it, ignore them, and continue to be here by your positive contributions, which appears to have benefited so many.

I am afraid, if it is too late (may be you have already left and may not be reading my and others' requests). If so, it is an irrepairable loss to this Forum.

That is all.

 

Post Deleted.

 

I don't post here much but I visit this site often and always found Sokanasanah posts very informative and useful. Hope he hasn't really left this forum and will be participating here again soon.

 

Now this thread has moved away from OP's two simple requests

1) Do not be offensive in PMs or ask the OP if she/he is interested in receiving PMs before PMing left and right esp. if the OP is new to the forum
2) Do not reply to personal threads like TTC etc..

to emotional requests asking a person who took personal affront at something some one said to some other person (I can only read her addressing Darmesh and he seems to be ok with it. Atleast Darmesh seems to stand firm on his opinion that women and men both should ignore offensive remarks.)

I have seen only SN among the men here stating his objections to the requests rather than providing unsolicited advice and even he has left the forum...Apparently it is as difficult for women to get across their points in IL as it is at home.