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Grumpy Old Man, That's Me!

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Apr 25, 2019.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I normally get up on the wrong side of the bed. Grumpy and totally out of moods. I get irritated with everything including the newspaper I read. My wife always asks me what makes me start my day in such a foul mood. ‘You went to bed in a cheery mood after reading your Wodehouse. Did you have a bad dream? But then it is impossible for you to have a bad dream every night that makes you grumpy on rising. Who do you quarrel with night after night in your dream?’ is the stock query my wife puts me on every morning. You can’t blame her for asking me such questions. I am known for breaking my toothbrush because no paste would come out of the tube even if I stood on it. My wife tells me that I should have got a new paste a month back and warns me that I may lose my balance and fall down. I throw her an irritated look in response. I tell her how much paste is still left in the tube is something that only the toothpaste tube and I know. My daughter often tells me that Walter Matthau could learn a few things from me in honing his grumpy look!

    Today I woke up with a smile. I was in a very chirpy mood. I sipped the lukewarm coffee that my wife brought in and looked skywards saying ‘Heavenly’. I sang a line from a 1970 movie tapping my heavy feet on the floor. ‘Don’t wake the couple below our floor. Today is Sunday and they normally wake up late’, my wife pleaded with me. I promptly obliged by stopping my drum dance. “I understand’, I told her adding that during my Bank days, I woke up only at lunch time on Sundays. My daughter invited me to come with her to the ‘work-out’ room adding that I might lose some weight merely by watching her exercising. I patted my massive tummy and smilingly said ‘Count me in’.

    Being a Sunday, the work-out room was packed and there were half a dozen people waiting to use the treadmill. As they waited, they were all chewing some health giving nuts and I told myself that there was no wonder why these guys were called ‘health nuts’. Two older men were having a heated discussing about who would be the next Prime Minister. I looked at their hands and observed that neither of them bore the ink mark of having cast their votes. I smiled looking at my own ink-stained finger.

    I sat up as my daughter’s turn came for using the treadmill. I looked around proudly but I smiled on seeing that nobody was watching me. ‘It’s a busy world’, I reminded myself. Two old ladies were discussing about some new recipe that they had chanced to read in a weekly a year back. It was clear that they were bent on making a simple recipe as complicated as possible. I smiled again and wondered how even an innocuous recipe could trigger a war of words. After finishing her treadmill, my daughter came to me wiping her sweat with a huge imported towel and asked me if I had lock-jaw. ‘You have been smiling nonstop ever since we entered the room’, she added.

    Her question shook me into reality. ‘Oh, God, what am I doing?’ I moaned and wiped off all the smile from my face. I realized how painful it was for a grumpy person to keep smiling. I patted my aching cheeks and got back to my grumpy look. I felt a lot better as people shied away from me. I remembered someone telling me ‘I don’t wake up grumpy. It just creeps in the minute I go outside and I realize yet again that the world has other people too’
     
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    Grumpy Old man is grumpy because there are other people around in this world! You remind me of a character Oscar who played a very jovial role in the movie "Grumpy Old Men". I couldn't stop laughing when I saw the scene where his childhood friend demands that he needs to pee when he drives on a six lane highway. He crosses all the six lanes in less than 10 seconds, stops at a Motel and gives him a stare and a piece of paper asking him to write, "How often he needs to pee".

    Instead of getting motivated to do Yoga to walk, you ended up watching the entertaining quarrels in the work-out room. Why do you need to tap your feet in order to sing your favorite song? Squeezing every bit out of the tooth paste is a habit that existed for generations and I have seen my father doing that by folding the tooth paste systematically to get the last bit of paste out of it. Even when a soap becomes small, he attaches it to a new soap so that it doesn't get wasted. By why break the tooth brush if you get frustrated about not able to squeeze any tooth paste out of already exhausted tube?

    Remember Karna's kind gesture to solve a child's spilled milk problem by squeezing the sand to get milk resulted in him getting a curse that his chariot will get stuck in the sand when he was fighting for his life in a battlefield. You should smile every second for such a wonderful family you have. When you feel Grumpy, recall your favorite Wodehouse books.

    Viswa
     
  3. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    :) :)

    I know that unbelievable feeling!!

    Just realised that I am still smiling while i type this.
    And i think, that how difficult it is for people who have to be the content generator for your ramblings to live with you and my total respect, for they are the reason, because of which I smile reading this :)

    I wonder @Cheeniya Sir, if it wont be easier to just wake up from the right side of the bed every morning! Just saying!!
    It should definitely lead to more snippets and ramblings ?? or not :thinking:?

    Older than you or older than the prime minster i wonder? Coz apparently the votes of the youngest should matter more this year ;)
     
  4. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Very much entertaining Grumpy old man!As viswa said, to take out the last drop of paste or use the last bit of soap pressing it against the new one or removing the last bit of sticking curry piece from the kadaai,to make sticky vathal kuzhambu sadam well in demand are a few of the many methods widely used by'sikkana sikarangal' in our families.Habits die hard you know. My brother-in-law was a great fan of Madurai T. N. Seshagopalan. When his daughter's maappillai Azhaippu process ion was going through Arya Gowda Road, he just entered Ayodhya manadapam where Seshagopalan was singing mesmerizing Thodi. In the wedding hall everypne was searching for the girl's father for Nischayadhartham,This old man,who used to have grumpy look always , was enjoying Thodi.I simply dragged him out of the concert venue and made him grumpy again and he was cursing me.

    Jayasala 42
     
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Grumpy and grouchy are order of the day in unisex gyms I believe. But for you Sir, you feel normal when the face is grumpy. When u look grumpy naturally spouse turns grouchy!
    2. Whereas I used to drop her - my spouse- at the entrance and she would give me directions to go to bazaar to pick up groceries and veg lest I would under pretext reading some novels watching only the ladies’ gym entrance! Habits die hard u know!
    3. I hate to press compress and depress the collapsed tube to extract the residues. Unable to stand my struggle, she would come with a taylor’s Scissors and cut the neck and insert the tooth brush into two hallowed halves and take out paste that would last for day and night for three more days. She is a SIKKANA SIRPI u know!
    4. It is perhaps intent of your maker that u write, I mean, type more and better every day and night with cyclope’s vision with single index finger for feasting Il’ites. For that work to go on un-hindered un-hampered, He has bestowed you that grumpy countenance which you deem it a treasure.
    5. In those days you had read thousands of books but you may not be able to read them all again but a read at random of works of Wodehouse would turn u with FEEL GOOD satisfaction .
    6. @Afresh @jayasala42 @Viswamitra
    Thanks to your inputs. I too enjoyed reading it.
    God keeps us energised to produce wonders on the key- board.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2019
  6. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Cheeniya Sir,
    [​IMG]

    Lol! Grumpiness and old age, I guess are synonyms! :rolleyes:
     
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Here is one of the scenes:

     
  8. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah Finest Post Winner

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    Cheeniya! Congratulations! Revel in the grumpy old man status that I aspire to!:beer-toast1:

    I too hope to grow into a cantankerous sourpuss someday; on my porch, see-sawing slowly on my rocker, dentures in a glass beside me, shotgun on my lap, smacking toothless gums as I glower disdainfully at everyone and everything. Shuttlecock over the fence? Frisbee? Tennis ball? No, the kids are not getting it back. "I dare you .." - I imagine little children saying to the intrepid among them - "... I dare you to ask Old Man S for the ball back! He's right there. Rocking in his chair as usual!" Their little tachycardic hearts aflutter, not one would brave the boundary. And thus I shall join you in curmudgeonly legend.

    PS: If you look hard enough, you may be able to find prior references to my ambitions on IL. I'm too lazy - besides, it's a hard-won privilege of age to say the same things over and over - by the by, did I tell about that time during the war ....?

    curmudgeon
    Old, cranky, and more than a little stubborn, a curmudgeon is the gruff, grey-haired neighbor who refuses to hand out candy at Halloween and shoos away holiday carolers with a "bah humbug!"

    As fickle and stubborn as the type of person it describes, curmudgeon comes to us without a history, its origins undisclosed. It was originally believed to have come from coeur mechant, the French phrase for “evil heart,” but that theory has been long discarded. Don't worry though, you’ll know a curmudgeon when you see one: He’ll be ill-tempered and miserly, eager to shake his fist and spout disagreeable opinions.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2019
    Cheeniya, Viswamitra, Afresh and 2 others like this.
  9. Novalis

    Novalis Gold IL'ite

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    After provoking you into a raucous workout, your grumpiness deterred; but this steadfast cat endured the grumpiness despite the distraction caused by her celebrity status as the grumpiest cat on internet. You had to be mindful to stay grumped. Nothing softens our feline grump! Memes and merchandise beseech this already grumpy cat making it grumpier (Leave me alone in my grumpy mood!) Though her grumpiness is caused by a benign deformation of her mandible, the catty cat has racked up eight million followers on Facebook and other social media sites with her grumpy fixation.

    upload_2019-4-25_17-25-46.png

    Cats tend to become celebrities only with cute affectation and furry makeovers. The consummate Grumpy routed all those silly cats since its appearance on internet. This demonstrates something about humans more than cats ...that ..humans are besotted by grumpiness more than winsome on others. A grumpy cat or a grumpy human interest us. Not so much as 'why is that cat/human grumpy' but solidarity with our covert grumpiness. (inside all of us: a grump grrrs)

    The grumpy cat has an inventive name -- Tardar Sauce -- to indicate its tough hospitality.

    Where Walter Matthau fails, Tardar Sauce upholds, and where Tardar Sauce fails, Cheeniya, you thrive in the grumpy stronghold. Long loved are the grumps representing unabashed the passive and inalienable grumpiness in all of us.
     
    satchitananda likes this.
  10. Novalis

    Novalis Gold IL'ite

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    Grumpy is the name of one of the Snow White dwarves. Had the dwarf been a female, surely, Miss Grouchy suits.
     
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