Going Back To India In 7th 8th Grade.

EagerForInfo · Feb 8, 2024

Hello

My daughter recently started middle school. I am contemplating going back to India this year or next year. Can someone please shed light on what I need to know ?
How do I begin the process of applying to schools and going back to India. ? I know it will be hard but let’s try to get it moving first. How do I make sure my kids don’t have a hard time adjusting in their schools and we will be successful going back ?

EagerForInfo · Feb 8, 2024

I am open to any location in India. Please offer suggestions on where kids can adjust well when they move back from India. Let’s get them to India first then we can move back to our hometown in a few years.

lavani · Feb 8, 2024

Can you think of couple of points on what makes you think India will be good. are you a single parent or together. I am not sure if you considered. before moving to conclusions on what life is there. i would suggest. document your reasons .

is your daughter watching IPAD the only reason.

EagerForInfo · Feb 8, 2024

Yes she is watching iPad. But more than that she is still young and I noticed she is hiding chats with boys. She has also started lying and bullying her brother and us. In USA dating is not discouraged but in India everyone knows it is better to avoid it. I feel like we are losing control over a once very very beautiful girl. I know India has changed and it might not solve our issues but being an Indian it doesn’t hurt to grow up in her own land for a few years. Seems like she has also started dating too but we are unaware of it.

lavani · Feb 8, 2024

I am not a child expert. But just 2 cents.

. this will not change much if you pack and do Return to India. It might lead to depression or other serious issues.
. india is not much different than usa. things are way different with growth in phones and social

. i remember you have had serious marital issues. It is just a side effect of family stress that your child is using to cope up.

there are seniors here who can advise better.

but you might need to fix things here . like resolve your marital issue. give the child a stable either single or together family home . then start with some counselling.

MalStrom · Feb 9, 2024

India is not a magic pill

Have you been to India recently?

gamma50g · Feb 9, 2024

Even though I havent been to India in a long time, I hear that India has changed a lot since we left it. I also keep reading about schoolgirls in India doing much worse than what your daughter is doing.

If you try to move back to India because of your daughter's behavior (that I read in your other post), you will end up with a very resentful daughter. You are uprooting your kids' lives and separating them from their friends. This shouldn't constitute a reason to move back. What will you do if this behavior doesnt stop after you move to India?

She is in middle school in the midst of puberty and raging hormones. The more you try to forbid her from doing things the more she will do it. That behavior will not change wherever in the world you move.

Lying, texting, even dating are now common in India too!! Kids have secret Insta profiles and whatnot. Its just the present times!!

Remember, once middle school starts - even during elementary school years kids are under a lot of pressure - peer pressure, pressure at home and what not. We absolutely cannot understand it because we are not from the era of whatsapp and Insta or snapchat (i know, that makes us sound like dinosaurs!! )

I know its easy to say but try to be her friend. Trust her. Dont suspect her. Be open to listen to whatever she has to say. Dont shut her down. Give her full confidence that she can come to you with any issue. You will always be there for her and no issue is too insurmountable to cross. Atleast she will start trusting you and opening up to you more once she realizes that you will not judge her if she reveals for example that she is dating someone. Invite the boy home. Teach her how to be safe.

You will earn a loving caring daughter who is always there for you and supports you and trusts you no matter what.

Induslady · Jul 18, 2024

@EagerForInfo - hope things have settled down a bit for you / your daughter. I know this is a slightly old thread but thought of sharing a few pointers in addition to what others have posted already.

If you are still thinking about moving to India with your kids, first speak to your kids about it and see if they are open to it. There definitely might not be excitement, but as long as there is no big resentment you may decide to proceed further along the moving idea. This moving process becomes successful only if the entire family works as a team!

Secondly, like someone mentioned above Indian schools are not free of txting, chatting, dating. etc. There too all of this start in middle school (esp. 7th & 8th grade) due to kids having to deal with hormonal changes. Most schools are probably mobile free during school hours, but kids tend to catchup online what they left offline once they are back home (thanks to all online communication platforms ever since Covid!).

Having said that if you are still 'eager for info' about approaching schools in India, you want to first decide the board of education - CBSE / ICSE / IGCSE / IB, depending on where your kids would want to do their higher education. Do some research about these school boards. Generally those moving to India from abroad tend to prefer international schools - IGCSE / IB curriculum. This will ease a little bit for the kids to settle down with the new learning methods, change in infrastructure/facilities, having similar peers NRI kids in class, etc.

Regarding the location Bangalore, Hyderabad, Chennai, Coimbatore, etc. seem to attract more folks returning to India based on infrastructure availability, more international schools coming up in these cities, IT jobs, etc. Hope your hometown is one of these that way you can take some extended family support in settling down.

Most schools issue application forms around Oct/Nov/Dec for admissions in the following school year. Applications should be available online and the application process. Also most schools do online testing/interviewing of kids for admission.

Good luck with everything!

Viswamitra · Jul 19, 2024

I agree with @Induslady in everything she suggested above.

You need to move to India, if and only if, all the family members are ready to adjust to a new environment including your daughter. Adjusting to a new environment back in India will be challenging for everyone especially for your daughter in a new school and in a new country. Indian schools are ahead in academic performance but at par with the US schools in terms of dating, interaction between boys and girls and even drug use. The top Indian schools are as expensive as the US private schools.

I would recommend you to make a trip to India and study some city environment in general but school environment in particular before you decide to make a major decision to move back to India. Besides, unless your daugher is competitive in her education to join major IV league professional colleges such as IITs, IIM, IISc, and XLRI. Otherwise, she had to come back for higher studies back to the United States.
Think about all of this future potential for your daugher you decide to make a move back to India.

Thyagarajan · Jul 19, 2024

For every one couple return to India from foreign lands including USA there are over hundreds standing in queue to leave india infront of Embassies or consulates of other countries. Only a small percentage returns to India after a decade in USA.