Going Back To India In 7th 8th Grade.

EagerForInfo · Feb 8, 2024

Hello

My daughter recently started middle school. I am contemplating going back to India this year or next year. Can someone please shed light on what I need to know ?
How do I begin the process of applying to schools and going back to India. ? I know it will be hard but let’s try to get it moving first. How do I make sure my kids don’t have a hard time adjusting in their schools and we will be successful going back ?

EagerForInfo · Feb 8, 2024

I am open to any location in India. Please offer suggestions on where kids can adjust well when they move back from India. Let’s get them to India first then we can move back to our hometown in a few years.

lavani · Feb 8, 2024

Can you think of couple of points on what makes you think India will be good. are you a single parent or together. I am not sure if you considered. before moving to conclusions on what life is there. i would suggest. document your reasons .

is your daughter watching IPAD the only reason.

EagerForInfo · Feb 8, 2024

Yes she is watching iPad. But more than that she is still young and I noticed she is hiding chats with boys. She has also started lying and bullying her brother and us. In USA dating is not discouraged but in India everyone knows it is better to avoid it. I feel like we are losing control over a once very very beautiful girl. I know India has changed and it might not solve our issues but being an Indian it doesn’t hurt to grow up in her own land for a few years. Seems like she has also started dating too but we are unaware of it.

lavani · Feb 8, 2024

I am not a child expert. But just 2 cents.

. this will not change much if you pack and do Return to India. It might lead to depression or other serious issues.
. india is not much different than usa. things are way different with growth in phones and social

. i remember you have had serious marital issues. It is just a side effect of family stress that your child is using to cope up.

there are seniors here who can advise better.

but you might need to fix things here . like resolve your marital issue. give the child a stable either single or together family home . then start with some counselling.

MalStrom · Feb 9, 2024

India is not a magic pill

EagerForInfo said: ↑

Yes she is watching iPad. But more than that she is still young and I noticed she is hiding chats with boys. She has also started lying and bullying her brother and us. In USA dating is not discouraged but in India everyone knows it is better to avoid it. I feel like we are losing control over a once very very beautiful girl. I know India has changed and it might not solve our issues but being an Indian it doesn’t hurt to grow up in her own land for a few years. Seems like she has also started dating too but we are unaware of it.
Click to expand...

Have you been to India recently?

gamma50g · Feb 9, 2024

Even though I havent been to India in a long time, I hear that India has changed a lot since we left it. I also keep reading about schoolgirls in India doing much worse than what your daughter is doing.

If you try to move back to India because of your daughter's behavior (that I read in your other post), you will end up with a very resentful daughter. You are uprooting your kids' lives and separating them from their friends. This shouldn't constitute a reason to move back. What will you do if this behavior doesnt stop after you move to India?

She is in middle school in the midst of puberty and raging hormones. The more you try to forbid her from doing things the more she will do it. That behavior will not change wherever in the world you move.

Lying, texting, even dating are now common in India too!! Kids have secret Insta profiles and whatnot. Its just the present times!!

Remember, once middle school starts - even during elementary school years kids are under a lot of pressure - peer pressure, pressure at home and what not. We absolutely cannot understand it because we are not from the era of whatsapp and Insta or snapchat (i know, that makes us sound like dinosaurs!! )

I know its easy to say but try to be her friend. Trust her. Dont suspect her. Be open to listen to whatever she has to say. Dont shut her down. Give her full confidence that she can come to you with any issue. You will always be there for her and no issue is too insurmountable to cross. Atleast she will start trusting you and opening up to you more once she realizes that you will not judge her if she reveals for example that she is dating someone. Invite the boy home. Teach her how to be safe.

You will earn a loving caring daughter who is always there for you and supports you and trusts you no matter what.