1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

God Forbid

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,811
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    God Forbid​

    Marriages are made in Heaven but prenup agreements are made on earth with the help of lawyers. They convince the couple, God forbid, What if the marriage does not run, then what ?
    So a pre nup agreement is made, which decides how the marriage will run, who will contribute what for the household expense, and in case of divorce, who gets what. So if one partner is rich, if a prenup is not made beforehand, then half of the estate of the rich partner goes to the other one.

    So without a prenup effectively it means, as u say at the marriage time “ I Do”, it means u do agree that from that date onwards, u are worth half of yr amount, plus u have to give a monthly maintenance towards the future kids and the ex spouse, who is yr current wife now.

    Since yesterday there were no papers, I was bored so went to the internet, and was browsing around , when I came across this interesting subject, and it set me thinking really about what is life, and marriage. That how expensive it is to marry really at times, for these rich people. I will give u a few examples , to show u how it goes abroad and how it can soon be a reality here.

    Some of the most bizarre prenup agreements , u can read here as follows

    Ten Craziest Prenuptial Agreements | Wedding Planning, Advice & Etiquette
    The Hollywood Actor Micheal Douglas had some strange clauses in his prenup.
    6. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas
    Next in the “making marriage pay” category is Catherine Zeta-Jones. Her prenup with “Wall Street” star Michael Douglas entitles her to $2.8 million per each year the marriage remains in effect. When Zeta-Jones was asked about the agreement she had the following to say:
    “I think prenups are brilliant,” Zeta-Jones chirps in the January issue of Vanity Fair, admitting that under her prenup with Douglas, “I get taken care of very well.”
    And it also says that for each time MD is caught cheating, he will be fined 5 million dollors, rather than a divorce, for staying married is lucrative eh !
    On one hand women want to be equal to men, and on the other hand, they want a hefty compensation in case of a divorce ? As it is , they take away half of the man;s wealth as soon as they marry, and then monthly alimonies start too. I would say pretty expensive to get married abroad.

    So in these prenup agreements, u limit ur losses to what the lady agrees to sign before she marries u, and u need a smart lawyer both sides to get yr good pound of flesh !!!!!

    In india the haggling does happen at the time of divorce, but since we have a lot of black money here, it is very difficult to prove what is the actual worth of the man. And when the son stands to inherit property from his parents, it is not his still, what can the lady ask for from his future inheritance, which he will surely inherit, but only when the oldies die.

    And there was this lovely case recently on which I had blogged on, of a lady she took Rs. 1/- as alimony, so that it is on record of the courts that she got her alimony from her husband, and she did not want anything more as she said she was earning good enough.

    When I got married , we were both broke, Dad helped us make this house, and he gave us capital to start our exports. When the good times came, Harsha was the proprieter of the export firm, and so today most of the money is in her name. So god Forbid, it anything happens, she will have to pay me alimony, so that I can drink beer and eat fish whole day eh ! Law is law, the poorer of the spouse gets the alimony eh ! HAHA

    That is why I am careful not to annoy her, for she has the upper hand, and then again I think at this age and the way I look, which babe will take a second hand me eh ! So with those thoughts in mind, I behave myself !!!!

    Not a bad business to be in , hobnobbing with the rich and the famous, and getting good fees, maybe I take this hobby as a profession, and become a percentage lawyer, taking a percentage of what I help recover for the poor supposedly rich divorcees , what say !!!!!!!
    And if the judge asks for the reason why my ;lady client wants divorce, Mother in law is the best excuse, but if she is dead, even then kamalji can come up with an ingenious one, that her ghost comes to haunt the poor DIL, and hence she wants a divorce !!!!! After all, my percentage too is at stake eh ! Ah so much money to make, and so few years , let me get cracking.!!!!!



    KAMAL MAHTANI

    I have made a few mistakes in my life, thank God none of them call me DAD !!!!!



    HINDI SONGS AND THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETIONS

    Fever – Jiya jale Jaan jale ,Raat bhar Dhuan Jale
    Constipation – Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jane tum kab aogi !
    Cataract- Tujhe mein Rab dikhta hai, yaran main kya karoon !
    Alzameirs - Tujhe yaad na meri aye, kissi se ab kya kehna !
    Vertigo – Tan Dole mera Man Dole !
    Urinary infection – Tip Tip Barsa Paani, paani ne aag lagayi !
    Piles – Batana bhi nahin ata, chupana bhi nahin ata !

    Ipossible Wish

    I want to see Manmohan Singh speaking to the wife of Salman Khan, on Sachin Tendulkar’s retirement party !!!



    Nurse – Sir, your wife’s phone.
    Doctor – What is it.
    Nurse – She wants to kiss you
    Doctor – im busy, cant u see, u take it and give it to me later !!!!!!

    A person who believes in working, will always have a job.
    But a person who thinks “kaun kare” (who will do this ), will always be a boss !!!
     
    8 people like this.
    Loading...

  2. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,595
    Likes Received:
    2,781
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    So now we have Kamalji LLB.......hahaha
    Toady both of them work so the alimony depends on individual person. Even the working women face so amny problems in life.
    What about the housewife...... instead of facing all such situation and getting into divorce etc etc....
    There should be such a law as soon as 2 people marry the hubby should give a small amount to his wife and that will be the security of the women.
     
    2 people like this.
  3. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,047
    Likes Received:
    3,965
    Trophy Points:
    338
    Gender:
    Male
    Kamalji, as far as constipation is concerned, there is a great song whose refrain goes "Aati nahin, Aati Nahin, Aati nahin".Icf God appears before you you can trick him into granting immortality by wishing to live long enough to see Manmohan Singh speaking to Mrs.Salman Khan about Sachin's retirement plans.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,291
    Likes Received:
    2,836
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Kamalji,

    Hilarious one!

    May be that is the reason quite some prefer live in relationship...no alimony, nothing. Pack the suitcase and walk out. In India we have not reached that level yet. Of course, divorce rates are also very few.

    Syamala
     
  5. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,036
    Likes Received:
    8,027
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    How cute is that.


    And i loved that doctor and nurse's joke :)
     
  6. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    3,343
    Trophy Points:
    355
    Gender:
    Female
    Smart you are , kamalji to behave and be good :)) I am just wondering how pre-nup agreement will work in the indian scenario. Maybe many marriages will survive? but the terms that will be mentioned may vary..now isnt that a good topic for another blog?? :)) LOVED the first two jokes:rotfl
     
  7. BHAVNAM6

    BHAVNAM6 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,919
    Likes Received:
    2,127
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    My dear Kamlaji,

    T
    No wonder you are a shrewd businessman who knows how to act wisely....ha ha

    I do not think Harsha ma'am would think in her dream about her upper hand though.......

    You carry on enjoying your life with full of spirit....

    .
    You are right....the laws in USA are favorable to women. I have come across many customers in my business who had to leave house at the very moment wife complained even for false reasons.

    Love,
    Bhavna



    YO
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. OOPALL

    OOPALL Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    657
    Likes Received:
    28
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Female
    Hello Kamalji,
    As always your posts brings smiles!! Thanks for sharing the jokes as well.

    Cheers!
    Oopall
     
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,811
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Dea rAruna,

    Today with both working, why should alimoney be given to the wife ? laws favour u women, as it is, one word from u and the men are behin d bars.HAHA

    The problem is the hubby shpould have the money to give his wife eh ! Does this mean hubby buys the wife, if he gives her a amount before the marriage ? HAHA

    Regards

    kamal


     
  10. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,798
    Likes Received:
    1,533
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Kamalji..
    loved all your jokes ..but the best joke is quoted below....
    That is why I am careful not to annoy her, for she has the upper hand, and then again I think at this age and the way I look, which babe will take a second hand me eh ! So with those thoughts in mind, I behave myself !!!!

    When I get to meet Harshaji I shall definitely ask her to recall atleast 30mins of her long married life to you when you were scared of her and well behaved!!!!.. HAHAHAHA... what a joke.. knowing you its impossible..

    Take care
    Kerman
     

Share This Page