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Give me some ways to not to send my kid with my in-laws.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by indhumathi, May 22, 2007.

  1. indhumathi

    indhumathi New IL'ite

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    I am indhumathi working as a software engineer.I have one boy baby who is nine months old.He is with me right now.But after one year my mother in law takes him with her to the village whr they(my in-laws) are living.but i dont want miss my kid.Also i am in position to go for work.Give me some ways to not to send my kid with my in-laws.
     
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  2. SubhaD

    SubhaD New IL'ite

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    I agree with you, Indhu. It is always good that children are with parents. Can't your mother-in-law stay here with you and help you out with the kid? Maybe your mother and mother-in-law can take turns to share taking care of their grandson, along with you and your husband. If they feel that it will be a strain taking care of a small boy throughout the day, maybe you could get some extra help - babysitter,etc? The elders can oversee the activities of the babysitter. My parents did this, when my sis-in-law and brother went to work. They had extra help at home - a young girl who could run around with my niece, play with her, etc. The child will also feel secure in such an environment, with parents and grandparents to shower her/him with all their affection and love. An ideal scenario. Not that there will not be any differences of opinion. There will be - it needs only a bit of maturity and give and take to make this a comfortable[for all] situation.
    I'm sure you'll solve this 'problem'.
    Regards,
    SubhaD
     
  3. vidraghav

    vidraghav New IL'ite

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    hi indhumathi,

    He is your kid. And no kid should be deprived of parents' love. You don't have to send the baby which you brought to life with your in-laws who are in the village.It is you who has to raise the kid. You can call your in-laws to your home for a few months or you and your husband can got to their place once a year(or may be just you and the kid).Since your kid is just nine months, and he wont even be able to recognise or communicate with you properly, it is too young an age to stay away from the mom. Just try to convince your husband about this. Am sure he will understand. Or else, stand adamant if they force you.:bangcomp:
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello,
    I have seen many couples want to send their kid with mother (where they feel comfortable).
    If you don't want to send your baby with your MIL, you can give many reasons.
    Babies until 2 yrs will have less immunity, so it might not be good for your kid in village.
    Baby's doctor's appointment, or you can postpone by saying you will send your baby during winter time etc.
    But be firm in your decisions. THis makes lots of diffrence. If you are not firm with your family (husband and kid) they will take a toll on your life.
    This is my own experience.

    Take care,
    and post what happened later.
    Punitha
     
  5. Anamika29

    Anamika29 New IL'ite

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    Hello,
    please, please be strong! Your baby needs you and you need him. Even the animals understand this. I Know this is very strong thing to say. You must win this or you and your baby will be in trouble. Is there any bigger pain than the mother being without the baby? Is it good for the baby to be without the mother? Raised by elder people that - with all the respect - are not so energetic to play and not so modern to understand the development of today's kids? :oops: Please, for all of us, be strong. If it was your idea, i could accept but not support. But since it isn't your idea:bangcomp: make the best of female revolution. Make them understand that you are willing to accept many things but what ever concerns your baby is bigger than them because God chose you to be his mother and you have to do this work. Make them understand that this is the only issue that will make you break the rules and show the lion in you. Say that if you have to you will let your job go since you can get another one latter and your baby needs you now. But say that your money will be missed and many other babies have working moms all over the world and are very happy with their moms. Pease don't give small reasons just to win time because they will see your nervous. Do it as if it is a matter os God's will. Nothing to argue about. Now is the time to tell your husband that you are the one to be next to him when he is old, and he will have to face the distance (affective) of his child. Make him see that he will also pay for this mistake.
    Sorry if my words are not so carefull
     
  6. indhumathi

    indhumathi New IL'ite

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    Thanks all for your ideas and views..
    first i will speak to my husband and will try to convince him.lets see what happens.and will let u know.
     
  7. Suma89

    Suma89 New IL'ite

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    Hi indu

    Pls try to have a word with ur husband and it can surely influence their opinion to change

    Regards
    Suma
     
  8. coffeecups

    coffeecups Gold IL'ite

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    It's a ten year old thread. What's the point in answering.
     
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