Gifts from our Loving PIL

I would love if she gifts me nothing but just genuine love for me and her grandkid (my dd). That would be great gift. I am sure many wish that

 

when I was newly married....I was too shy to 'perform' so I took 5 months. By then the news went to my PILs and then they summoned an assembly for this before my parents. I kept quiet all through the embarrassment.

Next day I took my DH into a room and said " From now on if any tiny spec of our private life reaches anyone else, I will have a private life of my own and you will NOT know it ":coffee................things did change

 

That's more than enuf

 

my ILs sent a cheap-cloth plain white saree with chamki stuck here and there (thats supposed to be the design?!?!)

Out of all the colors in the world :rant

 

Actually I did mention about this incident in one of my post...

MIL gifts me and her DD's sarees every Diwali,

One such Diwali she was in silent mode with me (we were not in talking terms reasons only known to her) usually only both of us go to shop but that year she choose to take her sisters DIL, I was least bothered because even if I go with her I get only cheap saree or suit.. then even during the festival day she still dint talk to me nor gave me the gift.. I was only happy not to receive anything from her.. then after 2 days I was watching TV and only both of us were at home she thot this was the best opportunity for her action (without any witness) she took that saree cover walked past me and standing around 5 ft away threw the cover at me.. I was shocked by her most unnatural stupid behaviour, I felt deeply insulted and was in tears I just pushed the saree and left the place, then my DH and FIL were there she is telling them how I rejected her gift and how I dont have any respect for her blah blah.. later I told my DH what happened and he to felt bad about. But whatever the case may be I dint accept that saree which she tried giving me when we were talking again.

 

Shilpama, I felt really really bad about this gift which you have received...

I am thanking God now...

Luckily my MIL is not like that.. She gifted me normal jewellery in my marriage. They were neither too modern nor too ancient.. I was happy... After 2 years of my marriage, while cleaning I found an old photo album which she had hidden from me.. In that I saw she was wearing all that jewellery... But, she took care not to let me know that its her's... She has never ever asked me to give them back for safe keeping.. I am free to do what ever I want with them.. When I saw the pics, she just told me that they were running short of money during marriage and did not have any other option as according to her, the DIL should be gifted with atleast an earring and a necklace...

She does not have DDs.. So, she makes sure she gets reasonable gifts to her DILs whenever she gets a chance... She even makes sure she selects the color which DILs like... If they are running short of money, she'll cancel some of her things and makes sure she'll gift decent things to DILs...

She asks me to give the cheap gifts I get from their relatives to the needy people...

 

Beginning days of our marriage...

I am from blore, i got married in March.
(You can imagine summer in Chennai in march month)

All my sarees and dresses were heavy work and i dint have any
cotton dresses/sarees... So within week of marriage i asked my
dh to take me to buy some cotton dresses...

And my dh asks his mother , good place to buy....
She suggests xyz showroom... WE decided to go that week-end ..

Ok after 3-4days they bought around dozens of cotton chudidars..
MY FIL called me and said look at this selwars how are they??

It was Pleasant shock and i was so happy.....
(Coz ours was love marriage, and my MIL was not even talking 2 me)

After a pause he says, these are for your SIL(They we starting
to u.s in 10days to help their daughter for her delivery)...

I still could not digest, how could they not offer 1 chudidar, when
they got a dozen for their daughter, that too just 3days back
we had spoke, of me buying cotton chudidars.. I am not expecting
they buy me a dozen, but at least 1, for a newly wed girl ?

Really weird people. Different rule for DIL and Daughter.

 

Oh God!! I am sure there would have been fireworks in that room when you were with DH , strange that men go and tell all this to parents. Invasion of privacy and lack of boundary is a major issue with our inlaws. They just dont know where to draw the line. In the pretext of "helping" and "meaning well", they try to control everything in our lives, even what we do and dont do in our bedrooms
I have faced it too.. during my pregnancy. My MIL would keep asking my mom what i and dh are doing up locked in the bedroom????? (this when i was under bed rest at 8 month pregnancy They have dirty thoughts , seriously!!

Good thing you handled it well in an assertive way.

 

blessed, ur MIL is no more. Why are you thinking about her and her actions??? Forget her and enjoy your life . You have gone thru so much but now its all over!! Go gift yourself a wonderful saree and buy some good clothes for your daughter and dh as well. Let your FIL see how peacfeul life is when the house is in your control.

 

i saw many post here but no match of your mil , she takes the crown ALONE of hypocrite ,diplomatic ,cunning saasu maa ..................horrible MIL