I really miss those days of staying in nuclear setup when I could do what I wanted an had freedom in personal life and domestic matters too..now that inlaws are staying long duration many things are not to my liking apart from loss of privacy..that is, frequent visitors , running errands on weekends, no me time etc.. Recently I was unable to attend a family function which was in different city.. reason for that is a different story..they all gave me big lecture about how I'm not mixing with family and relatives and not respecting elders etc..my husband didnt talk to me for several days..they attended ..I.dont think it was necessary for me to attend..so many other relatives especially working relatives didnt attend too but no one criticized them..first time I got bad DIL tag was when I missed family functions.. Off late too many guests have been coming.. many times for lunch or evening time and few elderly relatives came to stay also..for longer durations.. It's taken a major toll on my well being and my me time...really fed up of preparation of three or four meals a day..or even assisting MIL in kitchen while she prepared and washing vessels that she puts..full heap of vessels.. 3-4 sink worth of vessels per day..cleaning and arranging kitchen multiple times a day after extreme messy and chaotic condition....washing endless milk and curd vessels. Tea mugs, chai bartans etc...listening to maid tantrums everyday as to how much work she has to do for this salary and how many people are there at home, pay extra etc. ..because when in nuclear setup I used to do smart work and put very few vessels for wash..maid was happy as she would finish work fast and go..even if she took leave I would do utensils within 10 mins and sit freely..so tough to grind batter's everyday or once in two days as it was insufficient for these many people.. not able to order from outside even once a while...all this also really took strain on monthly budget as I would have to purchase double the quantity of milk curd etc...double quantity of vegetables , groceries like rice wheat atta pulses etc..unable to take a nap peacefully with all the noise and chatter...guests coming at random times in weekends and outing plan getting cancelled..running behind toddler while managing all this...even when MIL cooked I really used to suffer with cleaning part... Its tougher as I'm not working.. I didnt get chance to spend time with my husband and this really created big rift between us.. After they left I expressed my displeasure and inability to accommodate elderly guests next time..since then inlaws and DH have all been irritated with me..accusing me of being selfish and not having respect ..MIL didn't talk to me properly for many days.. I'm so irritated.. my opinion and health and well being dont matter to anyone..why should I get a bad DIL tag? Isn't it better to get a bad DIL tag than suffering silently and being a mother India and feeling permanent resentment... Just a vent...anyone else been in this situation where they had to say no to guests ? How did you handle ..